Sharing Resturant Bills?

Question

I recently went to a resturant with about 12 other people. About 4 of the participants insisted on ordering 5 bottles of expensive wine for their own consumption whilst the others had 1 bottle of house wine or had a single beer. At the end of the meal there was some disagreement about the bill. The 4 who ordered expensive wine wanted to split the bill equally whilst the others wanted to make the 4 wine drinkers pay for their own wine. So who is correct? Is it fair to order expensive wine and expect others to pay for it?

Answer 1

If you ever end up going with this group again, suggest separate bills in advance. If they won't go along with this, then just insist on your own separate check and use the excuse that you only brought plastic and don't want to have to owe anyone money.

By now if they are not smart enough to see a way out of a billing dispute, let them all duke it out themselves. Don't let people con you into paying for expensive wine you don't want.

In regards to that specific bill, those that had the wine should pay for it, those that didn't should not.

Answer 2

This can be tricky. What was your original agreement as to how the bill would be paid? Did you guys go dutch on the meal, or did you split the cost of all the meals? If you split the cost of all the meals (some may have cost more than others) the drinkers of the expensive wine could have thought that the cost of the wine would have been split as well( each person ate their own meal, it was not shared). Did those who ordered the expensive wine say that no one could have any? or was the wine really for the table and only four decided to drink? To safe guard friendships I would say for the future have a clear understand of how the bill will be paid before you go out. It is hard to say what is right or wrong here being that we only have one side of the story. If these friends are important to you let it go for this one time.:)

Answer 3

Usually people would be fair and roughly drink about the same, e.g all have say 2/3 bottles of about the same price. Even if some have 4/5 bottles, or only 1/2, then it still gets divided up equally.

However, this is based on people being fair and not taking advantage over other people. If these four you say ordered wine which was way over the odds, then by all means their contribution should reflect that, and those four must pay more. It was their choice to go for the expensive drinks, and they should have offered straight away to pay extra. If they really got the hump, then next time they want to go out for a meal, you can tell them where they can shove it...

Answer 4

Actually Martha Stewart discussed that exact problem with one of her guest who was a writer for some culinary column in the New York Times. The writer gave several examples of famous people and how that was handled in the past.

In summary it went something like this.

If one person in the group is a lot richer than any of the others, it is the custom and has been proper etiquette for centuries, for that person to Pick up the entire tab. Those who do not pay are suppose to provide the tips. But, never should the same person pay for Both. Only a Mob Boss would Pick up the Tab and pay for the tips. (Emily Post has always concurred the above)

Now, if you are of equal income or status, Martha Stewart and that Writer both agreed that Going to Dinner with a group is just like the Three Muskateers "one for all, and all for one" . No matter which one eats the most or orders the more expensive meal, You split it up equally, all pay the same amount. Total the Bill and add the tip and then divide it among the number of eaters.

This is what Martha Stewart said when someone from the audience talked about fairness.

"Eating is not about fairness, if you even think about fairness, you have lost the enjoyment of sharing a meal with your friends"



.

Answer 5

That is why I like restaurants that will separate checks. I don't drink and would not want to pay the tab of someone who does. Isn't it funny how the people who order the most expensive menu items are always the ones who want to split the bill equally?

I think that everyone should just pay for what they ordered, plus a tip.

It is much easier to clarify the situation when the waiter/waitress comes for the order. One of my favorite restaurants was a little hole in the wall place where you'd place your order at the counter and pay, then pick it up when the number is called. Sure simplifies things!

Answer 6

i'm not sure you're going to get an answer of what the 'proper' etiquette is because there are no set rules in these situations. However those people who ordered the expensive wine would have gone down in my opinion of them because they insisted that the others should pay their expensive drinks. I think its up to those people to offer to pay it though, which they would if they were good people, if they don't i'd just go along with it and call them a***holes behind their back

Answer 7

It was very rude for them to assume that the others should pay for their expensive wine. I believe that it was correct and fair for the wine drinkers to pay for their own. It was pretty presumptuous of them to assume anything else.
Don't give it another thought. Your in the right.

Answer 8

I think you should all have agreed before going out. To be honest, had I ordered the expensive wine, I would have offered to pay the extra out of principles' sake.

Answer 9

It was extremely rude if not down right obnoxious for them to order expensive wines, drink it and expect those who didn't indulge to share the cost.
I would suggest in future outings with this group ground rules be established concerning the bill.
Many people don't drink alcohol and it would be unfair for them to share a bar tab.

Answer 10

In future just ask for separate bills 1 for food & 1 for drink! that way the boozers can divide and take responsibility for the alcohol they've consumed.