I want to either go to Columbia University (in New York City) or Stanford University (between San Jose and San Fransico) for college and we live in Philadelphia (in Pennsylvania - no just kidding I know you guy knew that one!). My mom is already freaking out that I am even considering Columbia and my dad kind of wants me to stay, but he wouldn't stop me, I know it. I haven't told my mom I am thinking about Stanford though, but I think she'll have a heart attack after seeing her Stanford reaction. How do I bring it up when everytime I say I want to leave just the city she gets crazy and doesn't listen? I need there support for this and I know I have my dad's but mom is basically filling out applications to Drexel, LaSalle, and Penn for me (not literally, but you jnow what I mean!).
2006-12-24 06:34:03 · 23 answers · asked by limallama 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
According to your previous posts you want to be an engineer, right? MIT is top in the nation and Stanford second (so good choice!) Penn State isn't bad; it is number 19, so depending on all your circumstances you may want to consider it. You need to consider that engineering is a very structured curriculum and credits are NOT usually transferable. This could be a good arguing point to go to your choice school now and not go to a local school and then transfer in a couple of years. Tell them you have an opportunity to go to one of the best colleges for your field. This is a once in a lifetime chance and you don't want to waste it. I would do this with the acceptance letter in hand though, that way if you don't get in you never have to worry about upsetting them to begin with. You should also consider applying to Penn State as a back up just in case, and it should please your mom that you aren't blowing her off, you are just trying to do what is best for yourself.
You might also consider telling them that you have a hard path ahead of you, and if you are going to do well in it, you really need their support.
One last thing is make sure that this is something you really want. Engineering courses are very demanding, and if you change majors, they don't count for much. Take it from someone who took (wasted) 2 years of chemical engineering before deciding to choose a more family oriented career. Engineering requires lots of lab time and even work from home. Good luck!
2006-12-24 07:11:41 · answer #1 · answered by pebble 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all have you been accepted? Have you applied? Do you have the necessary resources? These are things you should consider before breaching the subject. Also are you sure what you want to major in? If you are undecided or are not sure of the other things You should consider a junior college or a general arts one. You wouldn't want to go to a technical college to get an art or English degree and you wouldn't want to go to a college for the arts to be an engineer. How you tell them is, as an adult show them you have carefully considered what you want, need, and can realistically do. "Mom dad I want to be a________, This school has a strong foundation in it. This is what I need for my future. These other schools are great but they won't give me that extra boost I need to succeed. If I do ________, ________, and ________ I know it will be best for me. Mom, dad I really need your support with this" Then show them your acceptance letter. They will be proud of you. Good luck!
2006-12-24 06:46:14 · answer #2 · answered by Jimmy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps you need to enlist your dad's help in this. That way, when your mom freaks out, he can help keep her calm, so that you don't feel too guilty to continue talking. Having him to rely on will make it much easier for you, but be sure not to look like you're ganging up on Mom, or disregarding her concerns. You need to understand that your mom loves and worries about you, even though she wants the best for you. And that it's scary to think about you being so far away. So be kind, but firm in talking about what you really want and need out of your college experience. Have concrete reasons about why those schools are the ones you want to attend. Programs, professors, statistics, be able to show that you've really looked into it. And if she pulls out the guilt trip about you leaving her, gently and lovingly tell her that it's scary for you to think about, too. But you know you can do it because she and your father did such a wonderful job in raising you and making you brave. You'll still be their daughter and remember what they taught you, no matter where you are.
Good luck. :)
2006-12-24 06:45:28 · answer #3 · answered by Vix 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are about to be an adult. She just has to get over it and stop being irrational about letting her "baby" go. You aren't a baby anymore. Don't tell her that, but keep that in your mind as you intelligently state your reasons for wanting to go to these school as OPPOSED to the ones in your city. Make it appear that you must go to the school away from home for academic and personal growth reasons. Try talking to your dad first so that you two can confront your mom together. It'll be harder to tell you no when he agrees with you. Best wishes.
2006-12-24 06:39:29 · answer #4 · answered by xtraluvly03 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the biggest part of growing up is doing things your way and not your parents. if you want to go to a specific collage then that is the one you should apply for. if you get in awesome. if your mom don't like it then she needs to hear how it is still a great collage and you will get a great education. she doesn't want to lose you in any way and those are some far away destinations. it is so hard for parents to let go after 18 years of being depended on. your going on with your education, that alone is commendable. try talking it out or writing her a detailed letter of why you want to go to those schools.
2006-12-24 06:40:02 · answer #5 · answered by a l 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's your life, go where you want to go. Your mom will just have to accept it. She's freaking because she is afraid of being separated from you...it's hard for moms to go through. Either school is great. Personally, I like NYC and it's only a train ride back to Philly. Cali is a whole different world. You should visit both.
2006-12-24 06:37:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to stanford its the best don't hesitate for few emotional reactions .. after 10 yrs ur mom will thank u for ur choice!!go 4 it good luck!!
2006-12-24 06:50:05 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think of telling your mom in fact maximum suitable and be mature sufficient to deal with what she has to assert. in the experience that your mom already had given you warning upon seeing your pal working around with the digital camera then why could you in basic terms show that your replaced into appropriate? which you're no longer in charge for the very merchandise you begged for, and needed so badly to have. mendacity on your mom/dad as quickly as and attempting to conceal it up in basic terms ends up in a distinctive lie. as a result breaking that bond of have faith. So in basic terms tell the reality once you arrive domicile. consistent with danger you may evaluate the mere actuality that lots of the time while our friends harm or reason harm to products they do no longer seem to be prepared waiting or able to pay to replace them or restoration them anymore then you certainly would. you're completely in charge for the cost to have it repaired. If there's a guaranty that would not recommend it covers being dropped in water via your doing.
2016-10-18 23:00:07 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to solve this problem early. I don't know exactly how but just imagine the phone conversations if you are at Stanford. She needs to accept that you are an adult.
2006-12-24 06:39:03 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes parents knows best and the two of you only need serious talk it over again. Then after she sees how serious you are at where you really wants to go perhaps she may agree.
2006-12-24 06:48:52 · answer #10 · answered by JoJoBa 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋