I feel so alone. Is there anyone out there for me?

Question

OK, I am starting to get incredibly depressed...why? Because I am alone. I don't have a girlfriend, hah, no girl sober and in their right mind would even give me a second glance. I hate the way I look, I am very reclusive (I have sociophobia and have been trying my damnedest to rid myself of it since shortly after I got it nearly 4 years ago) My depression has had a HUGE detrimental effect on friends...to the point where I just can't bear to face them.

People have tried to cheer me up and for a while it has worked, but shortly after the shadow comes back and I am hating the world and my life again. I have never really had a real girlfriend before and its eating me up inside...I know I cant force a girl to like me or anything and I wouldnt want to if I could. If anyone wants to know more about the real me, please check out my myspace profile http://myspace.com/illiathu. Thanks if anyone can help me.

--Rob

http://myspace.com/illiathu use this link, the above one dosn't work.

Answer 1

The problem with people is that they try to find somebody when in reality it doesnt always work, most the time the person you need in your life will eventually turn up when you aren't "looking" for them. Dont give up hope, sometimes having lots of dates is a bad thing or more than one relationship in your life except the fact you learn from them.

I've been in many relationships, all except the one I'm in now never worked out and I've been depressed and ive felt alone too, pretty much was about to give up on love or relationships in general. Never give up on it, itll happen, just stay strong and keep your head up. Don't look for somebodyto date or start a relationship with, instead go out and try to face your social fear and talk to a few people, make friends with them..have somebody go with you for support. Good luck!

Answer 2

I'll tell you what, Rob, I don't even need to check your profile. I know it's a cliche, but there really is someone out there for everyone.You sound like a smart, eloquent and empathetic guy and that means that someone will go for you, it's merely a matter of finding that someone and working hard to maintain that relationship.

One thing I will address to you personally is the sociophobia (is that the word?) is a serious hindrance. You need to find the root of the problem and address it, sooner rather than later. If it's the physical issue, I think it's important to point out that most of the people in the world dislike SOMETHING about their apperance, and rather on dwelling on that which you don't like, disregard it! Who's to even say what you dislike is even a turn-off for everyone else?

And this is also affecting your chances with your friends and potential companions. To cite another cliche, confidence is sexy. If you're withdrawn, it's harder for people to get to know you, and so fall for you. And this will affect making new friends, and girls, never mind keeping them.

Take active action. After the New Year, make a fresh start, and go out in the world...disregarding your fears. It's a new year, and a time to make a new you. No-one knows what it may hold, and take the attitude that you will get out more. Show yourself this, and it will start to shine onto others.

Have great holidays and I hope I've helped. I have no fear at all that you'll end up alone or whatever, it may simply take some effort and swallowing your fears. Keep strong, brother!

Answer 3

I suffer from a milder form of being a recluse...I hate going out..I wont even visit my friends. You really need to seek professional help. Cognitive behavioural therapy might be a good form of counselling. Your GP can refer you.

what you suffer from goes hand in hand with depression. I don't like the way I look although according to people I am good looking etc...but if you don't feel that way there is nothing anyone can tell you that will give you confidence.

I have some advice that you can start almost immediately. Order a tread mill or rowing machine and some weights ( I know if you are anything like me you wont go to the gym) Exercise will automatically lift your mood, it is like a drug and it will make you feel better and look better. I can't emphasise this enough.

This really helps me..only I hate exercise and don't stick to it...when I do I feel great and go out more...Please try this...I will be doing the same (need to take my own advice).

GOOD LUCK AND HAVE A GOOD XMAS...HOPE THE NEW YEAR BRINGS YOU ALL YOU DESIRE.

P.S...You will feel more confidant and the opposite sex will be drawn to you...that happens to me when I exercise and venture out

Answer 4

first off, I know it's hard but you really need to stop thinking about getting a girlfriend. I'm 20 and from what I've heard, most people go through a sort of depression phase when they hit 19 (I did).

It's important for you to 1st - build a strong group of close friends. (esp. single friends who you can relate to) 2nd - keep a journal or have someone you can vent to. 3rd - join clubs/organizations/hobbies where you do something you truly enjoy, you'll be able to have fun, make friends, and meet girls.

If you surround yourself with positive people and do things you really like, and maybe change around your look, you'll be more confident and you'll attract someone special. It may take time, but believe me, there are always people who are worse situations. Good luck!

Answer 5

You seem to have alot going for you, but I know how you feel. No matter how many friends or family members you have, you can still feel alone. I am there now, the holidays just makes it worse. There is someone out there for you. I say that because thats what I keep telling myself. But I do believe it, I'm not just saying it. Take care, and try to cheer up.

Answer 6

Lison their is someone out their for you and you will find that right person just watch movies and get some ideas from the movies of the way you may want to act to get a girl. It's not hard.

Answer 7

u have to make yourself happy before u can make another person happy. focus on getting out of this depression and when u do you'll find someone for sure.want a guy who is confident about themselves. try to cheer up and whe u do u'll be happy and isnt that the main focus here. good luck,marry christmas and happy holidays.

Answer 8

Sometimes depression needs to be treated, see a Doctor. Exercise, Vitamins, and eating right help alleviate depression. Stay away from Alcohol. Alcohol is a depressant. Find a hobby. And please stop talking so negatively........turn that stuff into positive stuff. Bod Bless & Merry Christmas..........

Answer 9

You have to learn to like yourself, before you can ever expect someone else to.
If you are anti-social and depressed all the time, you don't exactly make a good candidate for a boyfriend.

Answer 10

your out look in life n u is dark thats y ur depressed u need to find the brighter side of life take awalk u will see atleast 1 person having fun then tell ya self i could i will i can have fun i bet it wrks....if not theres always porn