He treated me bad, but should I end it on a good note?

Question

My ex bf was the one who dumped me, so I was really shocked when he told me that he wants to see me and "meet up". He called me, and planned the whole thing (a movie). I assumed there would be coffee afterwards since after one year I thought he wanted to really talk & catch up. He picked up, but he never opened any doors for me, he walked ahead of me, & after the movie he just drove me home. He never walked me to my door & just said "merry Christmas". He never tried to even hug me so I just shook his hand & said bye. I felt like trash after the date, he treated me bad, like s**t. He would open doors & walk me to my door when we were going out, but I thought he would be a gentlemen again cuz of all the effort he put in to set up this date, by calling & picking me up. I thought after the movie, we would have coffee and that he would say either 1) I want u back, or 2) I wanna be friends. I thought #2 is what he would say. Neither of this happened. WHY did he do that & treat me like that?

On the way home, I finally asked him why did he wanna meet up w/ me after all this time & he said 'u know just to hang out, I wanna see u every once in awhile'. He really meant, I wanna see u every year, on my terms & I'll treat u like this. I went home & decided that I don't even wanna see him once a yr & that I had to tell him this & how he treated me bad. So I went on msn aftre the date and I told him exactly how he made me feel. I said "You know, I honestly did wanna see u, & I did kinda miss u, & even though u'r a nice guy, after the way u treated me today, the way u rushed it, & the way u said bye in the car, we don't even need to see each other once a year, we should pretend like today was our final goodbye." He was shocked & kept saying sorry. I finally just said bye & logged out. Am I right or did I overreact? and should I fix it? By the way, when we were dating it never went past kissing cuz he knew I wanna save sex for marriage.

Even though he deserved everything I said to him, I still kinda feel bad for just logging out on msn without letting him say bye at the end. For my own peace of mind I feel like I should call him & say I wanna end it on a good note. should I?

Answer 1

Okay, let me see if I have this straight. Your boyfriend dumped you, then called you for a holiday non-date where he treated you like you meant nothing, and then told you he'll see you when he wants to see you. He's made it clear that he doesn't care for you the way you want him to, and here you are, worrying you were too tough on him in IM? What are you doing? Why are you wasting your time with this guy? It's time to move on and accept that the old relationship is over.

And if you can't do that, at the very least, stop making yourself so available. Nothing turns guys off more than that. The only possible thing that could make him interested if if you moved on and started dating other people. And once you do that, you'll realize how much better off you are without him. There's a guy out there who'd love to be your boyfriend. But this guy ain't it. So cut your future boyfriend a break and let this guy go, already. He's dying to meet you. :)

Answer 2

Umm, if you already said what you honestly felt about the whole thing why would you want to apologize (unless you said hurtful things and foul language). Your entitled to your feelings and you laid it out for him (hopefully in a nice, meaningful way). What happens next is really up to him.
I really wouldn't spend too much time on him, life is too short to bother with someone who doesn't want to be with you. If it is meant to be, he'll come back to you, but until then go have a little fun and forget about him.

Answer 3

He is your ex, right? so let gone be by gone. Hanging out with him is ok but don't expect him to threat you as his lover because he's your ex and you're his ex. I believe that there are a lot of good and gentle men, even the better one that suit you better than him.
Don't put yourself around him anymore if you don't want to or if it hurts you. You decided to make him as your ex so let him in the past and you can pass him by. Don't feel sorry about him or the past, but feel ashame if you let yourself be humiliated by let him threating you like a s**t in the future.
Don't ask him why he threated you like that, he is himself. All you need to do is go away from him, and go on your life. It will cost you nothing to not having him in your life and it might cost your life to have him back again.
And anyway, the decision is yours to choose. To be with him or to leave him forever.

Answer 4

Nope, you did exactly what you should have. You don't owe him anything. Move on and wait til' the right person comes along. Maybe all of them won't open doors for you but they'll will be a lot better than him.

Answer 5

Listen, I have seen that post for like a 5th times now. You got many good responses from it so why are you still asking??

When you keep asking, it gives me the impression that you are still in love with the guy. If so, just talk to him.

Answer 6

Try leaving it as it is, or maybe, if he's on the next time your on msn messenger tell him you didn't mean to be mean, but that you felt upset. See what he says. But that doesn't mean you have to go back with him or feel guilty for expressing your feelings.

Answer 7

Girl....you're just a gluten for punishment!!! I wonder why it is that so many people try to go backwards with their love lives? The guy treated you like crap but yet you still feel you owe him an explanation....just doesn't make any sense.

Answer 8

Yea guy make her sense lifeless to you, thats ****** up. I in basic terms went for the duration of the comparable ingredient. i could nevertheless choose for her ciase i like her and we dated for see you later yet I hate her reason shes the devil in hide.

Answer 9

Yes u should end it on a good note. BE the bigger person

Answer 10

Tell him that it's time to end it but end it on a good note.