My girlfriend says her ex-boyfriend still has feelings for him but she considers him a friend now and she can't ignore him as they were in a relation for 8 years.
I found out that they kissed today (a deep kiss) and when I asked her she said that he wanted to kiss her and she couldn't refuse as chrismas eve is coming so she didn't want to hurt him.
She says she will always hide our relation from him becasuse he will get hurt. They meet 3-4 times a wee...as friends.
Is this cheating or am I getting too suspicious?
Please don't get angry with me I am trying my best to be open-minded.
2006-12-24 05:31:12 · 41 answers · asked by abraham366 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
She is cheating. You are right about that, she is playing both of you. The word EX signifies a relationship that is over. Ex's can be friends, but not friends with benefits. Also a "friend" would want to know about another person in their friends life. She won't tell him about you? Yet she continues to see him many times a week. Drop her and move on to someone who is genuine with you. Any women who is with a boyfriend is proud to tell others about him. We do not hide or keep it a secret from anyone. Who cares if he gets hurt...she is done with him according to her...thus the lies. What happens if he wants to sleep with her..? I mean christmas is coming what a great present that would be. See the point here. Get rid of her quick. Give yourself a merry christmas without her.
2006-12-24 06:10:22 · answer #1 · answered by steelnpleasure 2 · 6⤊ 0⤋
If she is hiding ya'll's relationship from her ex, then that means she is not over him.(yea, 8 years can do that to a person) If she was she would let him know that she has moved on and that she just wants to be friends. And she didn't have to give him a deep kiss either. Does she tell you where the "meetings" are? And why are they having meetings? ex boyfriend=in the past. I've watched way to much tv to not say this is not cheating. But it is really up to you because by me not knowing her and all.........she might not even have the intention to cheat at all.........anyway, if she tells you where the meetings are, then you should "casually"(another word for spying) go by the place she tells you (not the same day,pop by when she is least expecting it)and THEN you can make a decision. If she is doing no wrong then the relationship might work out after all. :)
Wishing you the best
2006-12-24 05:53:42 · answer #2 · answered by Mz.C 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No, there is something wrong. You need to drop her. She is obviously not over him. I would not be kissing an old boyfriend or keeping my new boyfriend from him if I was just friends with him. She is not telling the full truth with you or herself. You need to end it with her before you get hurt more. She cannot keep doing this with both of you. Why would we be angry with you? When you are in a relationship, there should be open communication and total honesty. She doesn't seem to participating in either. I am sorry.
It takes 2 to kiss. I could see a phone conversation once in a while, but not meeting that often or definitely NOT kissing. She is not over him and you deserve someone who can give her full attention to you.
Hugs to you. I hope you have a good Christmas even though I know you must be hurting. Hang in there. You are strong. Be strong and let her go. Don't let her do that to you.
2006-12-24 05:36:51 · answer #3 · answered by Stephanie F 7 · 6⤊ 1⤋
It's not exactly cheating because she's being open about it, but the thing about her hiding your relationship from him? What's with that? Why is she so worried about hurting him if she's no longer in a relationship with him?
You sound very open-minded, but there are limits. You need to talk to her seriously about this. She needs to be honest about where you stand. There's nothing wrong with people staying in contact with their exes, but when they're staying in contact with their exes while claiming to be single and then making out with said exes... that's pushing the boundaries.
She doesn't seem to be showing much respect for you. If you're very serious about her, you have to find a way to talk to her. If it's not that serious, let her go. You can do better.
2006-12-24 05:44:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
It's good he didn't ask her to do anything more than kissing, because she wouldn't be rude to refuse him on Christmas eve.
Hiding your relation from him shows that she cares more for him. She's confused and guilt-ridden and you have to accept that if you're so desperate to be with her.
It's impossible to find true love and we all have to compromise. This is a hard reality of life and we must learn to live with it. I have a girl who is hiding our relation from her ex as she doesn't want to be rude to him or hurt his feelings, but I now I have got used to it. In fact, you have given me an idea to post a question.
Or the best idea would be get in touch with your ex and find solace in her. And you don't have an ex-girlfriend, then make your current girlfriend your ex and find someone else.
2006-12-24 05:53:06 · answer #5 · answered by Razor 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
It seems as though you are not the one cheated, the other guy is, especially if he doesnt know about you. As far as the kissing goes, how can you know if it didnt go further? How can you trust someone if you have to be the secret. Get out of this relationship. Not a girl, but a damn man. Dude, you are being PLAYED!!! either start playing or leave!
2006-12-24 05:38:28 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 7⤊ 0⤋
i definitely think she is cheating. maybe not physically because she obviously told you about the kiss so she is probably not having THAT kind of a relationship with him. but it really just sounds like she wants to have two relationships at the same time. and that is not fair to either of you. my personal thoughts are she should give him up or you should give her up. maybe not her entire relationship with him but not meet with him 3 to 4 times a week. that is over doing it. if she wants the feelings for him to go away then she needs to let him go. and it is just making him keep his feelings for her.
2006-12-24 05:46:24 · answer #7 · answered by jmd 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
She kissed him. Yes, it is cheating.
And even if she didn't kiss him, their emotional relationship is not over if she sees him 3-4 times a week.
I view myself as a very open-minded person, but I think, given their history, I wouldn't be able to tolerate the frequency of their meetings.
Good luck!
2006-12-24 05:36:35 · answer #8 · answered by Suzanne 4 · 9⤊ 0⤋
Dude dump her. Obviously this guy means more to her than you do or she would be more concerned with your feelings than his. She let him kiss her because she wanted him to. You are the back burner that she keeps around so she doesn't feel lonely while she is waiting to get back together with him. Sorry to be so blunt, but you are going to get very hurt by this girl.
2006-12-24 05:39:33 · answer #9 · answered by Sissy 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well, the fact that she's hiding your relationship from him, makes me wonder. She should be proud of you, and let him know that she's moved on.
Christmas Eve or not, she shouldn't have kissed him passionately.
I think you have every right to worry. Ask her to involve you in these meeting. Introduce you to him. He needs to know that she's involved with someone else now.
2006-12-24 05:33:44 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 8⤊ 0⤋