well heres the story..i have been dating a girl for about 6 months now and recently i find that she is losing her attraction towards me..she has been very busy lately with work and we have barely had the oppritunity to talk on the phone (which is something we do quite regularly) let alon see eachother..now she has always been very work oriented but its hard to understand how she cant make time sometimes..any way we saw eachother again and it wasnt really the: fly into eachothers arms..i havent seen you in forever, be with me sorta of thing, but rather a movie and dinner, which is great if you saw eachother everyday, but if you're seeing the other person like 3-4 times a month..i mean wouldnt you think we'd make something more of the night...let me know please from a girls perspective..
2006-12-24 05:10:45 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i do alot for her..and im not secreative about how much i care for her..i do write poems, and show her i care..but she seems to not show it back but when i ask her about she tells me she cares! but she just doesnt seem to show it
2006-12-24 05:29:34 · update #1
If I were you, I wouldn't date a workaholic. The fact that she's so busy is a bad sign. But if she's seeing you 3-4 times per month, that's about once per week, right? That sounds like enough dating for this stage of the relationship. Maybe one or two more dates per month would be better, but she isn't completely gone yet.
The worst problem I see here is her inattentiveness. She doesn't seem to appreciate those dates very much. I suggest you back off a bit -- if you spend lots of time on the phone, you need to vanish! Spend about 5 minutes arranging the date, and then get the hell off! If she doesn't regain some interest and be a better girlfriend to you, you need to move on because then you will know that she isn't the kind of person who is going to make you happy.
Good luck!
WHOA! Hold up just a second there! You're writing her poems! Nothing screams "boring nice wimp" more than poetry. You're trying WAY WAY too hard to please her. That's why she's not as interested in you. You're boring her with all that niceness. You have to back off, dude! Until she gets a better attitude, I don't want you to give her a single thing! That's the problem . . . I should have known. Trust me, you need help from that expert I cited so that you learn not to do that kind of thing in the future.
2006-12-24 05:20:36 · answer #1 · answered by anonymous 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe there is something more that she isn't telling you but sometimes once you have been seeing someone for a long time there is a period of 'boredome' with eachother which really is just that each person is realizing that they need more than the other person to be happy and they begin to start doing the things that they enjoy again... sometimes this transition period leads to unnecessary break ups because someone is feeling rejected. Fact is that relationships always start out hot and heavy and then become more comfortable. If this doesn't seem like what is happening than you should talk with her and be open about what you want because we aren't mind readers. We are moody and needy and if you show you care we are more likely to open up about other issues. Just keep your mind open, it might not have anything to do with you- but with the time of year, the stress of the season and work. TALK TO HER. Good luck!
2006-12-24 05:20:49 · answer #2 · answered by vintage00gypsy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
With anyone, be it man or woman, if they're spending less time w/you than they used to or you're not talking on the phone nearly as much and work isn't an issue, they're definately "letting go". You need to talk to her about it, about how you're feeling. Ask her, "are you still wanting to be with me?"..or something like that. The worst she'll say is no but maybe she's just stressed out and it's not you at all. I hope it's the latter, nothing is worse than losing someone you care about because they stopped caring about you. Good luck.
2006-12-24 05:17:35 · answer #3 · answered by aweety69 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know she has to work in all but you have to make time for the person I'm sure she has days off during the week where the 2 of you could have dinner at one of your homes. Maybe even sit and watch t.v. together or something...
I had this same problem with my husband going to work and then college and then he was helping his mother and father build their home and I was left at home the only time I got to see my husband was at lunch time and first thing in the moring and that was it and I will tell you what it took a toll on our relationship but I did sit down with him and talk to him face to face and he started making more time for me and we have a wonderful relationship now. I hope this helps a little because I really don't know what to say but see if she will at least talk to you and she if she wants to continue on with the relationship or if she wants to go your own ways and see where it takes you. I'm sorry I couldn't have been more help but I have been down this road as well.
2006-12-24 05:17:27 · answer #4 · answered by navy_seabee_wife 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps she feel in "lust" with you and not love. That would explain why her feelings are fading and she's not all that excited to see you. It also seems that she doesn't have enough guts to approach you, and is playing games instead. At the rate that this relationship is going, you should break up with her because it's not heading anywhere healthy. You deserve someone who will care about you and have you as a higher priority. Good luck!
2006-12-24 05:16:15 · answer #5 · answered by jo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well it really depends on how your relationship was before.. were u always very affectionate with each other.. if you ask me every time you see someone your dating, it should be a "fly into each others arms, havent seen them n forever" type thing. but if your relationship wasnt like that to begin with then i can understand why it was just a movie and dinner type thing.
2006-12-24 05:14:24 · answer #6 · answered by kute_regina_gal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, its very easy to be caught up in work. i don't think she's losing her attraction towards u, i think shes stressed. NO girl likes work, even if shes dedicated.Somthing must be wrong, or she did somthing that she thought might hurt u, and shes staying away from u for it. u just need to reasure her of how much u love her, and, how crappy ur life would be without her.hope it helps. happy holidays! oh, and speaking of holidays, get her somting nice for christmas. That sould do it! good luck!
2006-12-24 05:16:33 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like the fire has burnt out in this relationship if you want to save it and try to bring the sparks back try something new like flowers and a card with a note handwritten from you anything you do that comes from the heart us females really like if there is still that flame burning good luck
2006-12-24 05:18:29 · answer #8 · answered by ladychains 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think maybe shes just a little sick of you.. the dinner and a movie thing is great and original but maybe you need something new. take her out to.. something extreme like skiing. or water skiiing.. I'm sure she'd like that or if you have enough money a cruise.
2006-12-24 05:14:46 · answer #9 · answered by ♦Its•Possible•But•Not•Logical♦ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like she is just busy and not losing her attraction towards you. You must remember that she is her own person and maybe she has goals and aspirations she is working towards. Dont fault her for that, but instead support her drive.
She could have been sorry and lazy and using you for your money but she is not.
2006-12-24 05:12:57 · answer #10 · answered by â¤??? ?å???? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋