I am seeing someone who is very emotionally distant. He said however when we started seeing each other that "as long as he was doing this with me, he wouldn't be doing it with anyone else". I'm feeling very trapped by this because I want more out of a relationship than occasional sex. If I only see him once a week, and get maybe 1 or 2 emails from him a week should I leave myself open to meeting other people or stick to his original request???
2006-12-24 04:06:27 · 15 answers · asked by hthr_1974 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i think it's cool that he's being honest about what he wants so you have to do the same. if you can't handle it or that's not the type of relationship you want then let him know. some people can handle being friends with benefits and some can't. do what makes you happy and don't worry about the rest. if he still wants to be friends without the benefits then that's great. if not it's even better because at least you'll know now rather than later. talk to him. and do it now.
2006-12-24 04:22:36 · answer #1 · answered by NoDeal21 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry hun, but you just met a pimp!!!
He is doing it with someone else, if not right now, he will be. First you have to realize the mentality of a man.
Men do not have these strong emotional attachments from having sex like women do, unless he is ready to be with you. The amount of sex that he has had with you is nothing in regards to him having a sense of wanting you in a relationship. I don't know why it is that way, but it just is. Furthermore, a man will never really want someone that he has just been able to **** for fun and pleasure.
You should not be pondering of asking him for something more between you 2, for what??? All hs will say is what he has already told you, "I dont want a relationship, blah, blah, blah!" If anything you should be trying to protect your feelings here. You have been with this man, and now you want something more,,right?
He is not the one, if you need to have sex, do it!! If you really need a relationship, look for someone that values intimacy in a relationship.
2006-12-24 04:15:00 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't let him break you down this way. It isnt fair to ask you to be around for just sex in this relationship. You deserve so much more than that! You need to find someone who stimulates you emotionally, mentally and physically...not just physically. You deserve to have affection in your life without sex. Someone who appreciates you for who you are and can go a few nighrs without sex if you don't want to. It's hard to be with someone who isn't emotionally available to you. I have a very good friend that was once more than that to me. He was also unavailable to me emotionally, and I was always unhappy. Go with what your heart tells you. If you know that this isn't right for you, leave him be. You will find that special someone when you least expect it. Hang in there! :)
2006-12-24 04:18:03 · answer #3 · answered by Aha! I Caught You! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you love the guy.. and if you do then you should let him know that you are in love with him and take it forward from there... but if you are not in love with the guy and enjoy the "casual encounter" then i think it will be a little unfair to expect anything from the guy and for the guy to expect anything from you.
Monogamy and commitment is what a relationship is all about thou a lot of us confuse it with the so called "The Commitment" ... i think a relationship is also about exploring to understand if two people can get along well and are on the same page... i think it's the first step towards a future...
On the other hand, if you are in love and he is not ... run while you still have time coz "it will be a waste of your valuable time" .... thou the words are harsh but i am sure "depending on your age" you will realize their importance & depth
2006-12-24 04:16:50 · answer #4 · answered by Here2Share 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is fair. If you want to seek others that is fine, but inform your friend and let him make the call on whether ot not to remain the the friend with benefits. There are too many diseases out there to take chances.
Furthermore, let him know you want more. If is open to it then you have no problems. If he can't commit to more then you should pursue someone that will commit, but let him know if and when you find his replacement.
2006-12-24 04:11:56 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel this way you should not be in a friends with benefits relationship. If he wanted more he would have told you in the beginning. If you really want a relationship, try it with someone else because he obviously doesn't want a real relationship with you.
2006-12-24 04:12:44 · answer #6 · answered by Cocoa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that it would only be fair to be 'faithful' to your friend. If you are not willing to commit to him like that, you should be honest and tell him so. You both need to be honest and upfront about what it is that you want and find acceptable, otherwise it will all go wrong.
2006-12-24 04:09:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't see the point. You are either exclusive or not. A "friend with benefits" is not someone you should place restrictions on.
2006-12-24 04:10:08 · answer #8 · answered by Awesome Bill 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To hellw/ his request !!! Tell him you need more companionship or do u both feel its too soon??
2006-12-24 04:13:33 · answer #9 · answered by Dotr 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if it's not enough for you find someone who will give you what you need.
2006-12-24 04:09:57 · answer #10 · answered by desperate 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋