I've been out with this boy for some time, he's 18...and he thinks I'm 16 (I'm actually not, I'm 14, but I increased my age when we started dating because I really liked him and I know its wrong..!). The problem is that he's really began to act all commitment-like and he always tells me he loves me and talks about "us" in the future. I'm still young and I don't want to spend the rest of my life with him, he's a just-for-now boy. How can I get him to back off a bit?
2006-12-24 03:32:12 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It's girls like you that lie about their age who get guys in trouble.
He's in love with you, you can't expect him to back off and be your, "just-for-now boy". Either dump him, or stay with him. Tell him your real age as well.
2006-12-24 03:35:38 · answer #1 · answered by Gilligan 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh dear, Helena! You really have got yourself into a bit of a situation, haven't you? Well, believe me, you're not the first and you won't be the last silly little child battling against raging hormones with her silly little head in the clouds thinking that love is a bed of roses and that her actions do not have consequences until they jump up and bite her on the backside.
I have read your account of the situation and I have to be brutally honest with you and say that I feel very sorry for this lad: unless he is very careful, he is about to get into a lot of trouble through no real fault of his own other than being a little bit on the gullible side. On the other hand, I have absolutely no sympathy for you whatsoever. You might look like an angel, but in truth you are a thoroughly immature, irresponsible and heartless little girl, who seriously needs teaching right from wrong.
You had better smell the coffee pretty damn quick, young lady, because you have a lot of growing up to do and you can start doing that right now by stopping telling porky pies to people. What you have done is not only be deeply dishonest towards this lad you say you "liked", it is also immoral. It is also in danger of having serious legal consequences in that this boy could go to jail if he has any kind of intimate physical contact with you. Even if you were 16, as you have claimed to him that you are, your parents, assuming they are responsible adults, would almost certainly not have approved if they knew what you two were getting up to, since you are not ready for a sexual relationship yet, no matter how much you might think you are. You don't have the enough experience of life yet at the age of 16 to be the sort of parents a child needs.
The important thing you have to do now is to own up to this boy about your true age. If the thought of having to do that is filling you with dread, then that's tough. You should have thought about the consequences of your cruel lies before you tugged the poor lad's heartstrings and led him on.
Secondly, for the future's sake, you have got to reassess what you stand to lose by pushing this lad away. In this day and age, many women would give their heart's blood to get someone who showed the level of commitment this lad seems to be showing towards you. Therefore, owning up to your real age need not neccessarily mean a parting of the ways. He may well be prepared to wait for you to come of age if you decide not to break his heart by dumping him. Mind you, it would take an extreme act of forgiveness on his part to tolerate the dishonest way you have behaved towards him. If you do decide to hang on to him, for goodness sake, take your time to really get to know him properly before you decide to bring a child into the world.
It might also be a responsible thing to do if you told your parents about the situation and maybe they will be able to point you in the right direction regarding the proper way to behave towards your fellow human beings in future. They, of course, might consider that a well smacked bottom might be in order. In my opinion, that's the very least you deserve.
2006-12-24 19:21:26 · answer #2 · answered by colliedug111060 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, let me tell you that you've been playing with fire.
This guy could get arrested since he actually is an adult and having a relationship with a minor.
I think that you have caused enough damage for now and should come clean real fast.
I am pretty sure that when you will tell him your real age for a start, that will most probably shake him a bit.
Now, when you are in love, it normally doesn't disappear overnight; So do actually come completely clean.
You could get this guy in real trouble;
So he might actually appreciate you telling him before things do get really out of hand.
And do yourself a favour, stop playing with fire!
2006-12-24 11:47:50 · answer #3 · answered by Kc 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should first tell him the truth and that your still very young and not ready for that stuff yet. Tell him you can be friends for now and maybe have a relationship later.
2006-12-24 11:42:14 · answer #4 · answered by ♥~gracie girl~♥ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him as it is. Be honest. Tell him your too young to commit to one man. Im 23 and feel too young to commit to anyone, so heaven knows what your like!! Just be honest.
Good luck
2006-12-24 11:38:22 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
break up with him now ... you are playing with his life!! you are jail bait and he can go to jail for being with you ... how stupid to increase your age to date someone ... you have no idea the damage you can cause this poor guy ... between jail time and playing with his emotions!! Come clean and tell him the truth and be prepared for him to hate you and call you names ... in the mean time grow up and act your own age you are too young to date and this situation just proves it!!
2006-12-24 11:36:00 · answer #6 · answered by emnari 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Apparently the popular method these days is to ignore the person completely and refuse to give them any details as to why you've changed your mind.
I neglected to mention that you should probably tell the person you don't want them in your life because you've nothing to gain from it.
2006-12-24 11:34:50 · answer #7 · answered by vegetable soup 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
for one thing; TELL HIM HOW OLD YOU REALLY ARE! sheesh girl! he will find out you lied and that will NOT be pretty! tell him that, then that you like him, but you aren't sure of an "us" in the future. you don't want a huge major commitment right now and he should be able to accept that! best of luck!
answer some of my questions too please!
2006-12-24 11:40:56 · answer #8 · answered by elphie44 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him, in as nice a way as possible, that you don't like him the way he likes you, you're really only 14 and you're not ready for a steady boyfriend yet and you're very sorry that you can't be there for him like that.
2006-12-24 11:44:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that your too young to know what really love is. and just tell him you love him a good friend. but for now don't let him know how young you really are. give it time.
2006-12-24 11:36:28 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋