Guy I'm interested in (Steve), who says he's interested in me, isn't making an effort to spend time with me. Keeps asking me to be patient and not give up. Recently had an ex (Kate) with breast cancer contact him for moral support. He dated this gal years ago and she moved away to seek treatment in another city. He dated someone after that (Sharon), but they never went anywhere because he was still hung up on Kate. Two years later, here I am. He says he's not in love with Kate, but feels obligated to support her.
Positive:
- Says he's interested, compliments me, brings me little gifts
- 'Says' he wants to spend time with me
Not so positive:
- Doesn't call me--only IM and phone text
- Hasn't taken me out yet (been 2 mos)
Granted, if someone asked me out right now and i wanted to go out with them, I would. But this has been eating me up inside--esp. with the holidays and all. Part of me wants to just end this, but will I be ruining something potentially great? What should I do?
2006-12-24 02:42:27 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Also--I'm fine with Steve 'being there' for Kate. He'd be a bad friend not to. But he's put his life on hold for the past few years because of her situation--out of obligation--they had broken up.
2006-12-24 02:44:32 · update #1
He hasn't taken you out for two months? That says a lot right there. I mean, don't get me wrong, if he compliments you and gives you gifts, then yes, he does like you. But if he hasn't taken you out for two entire months, then he's not interested enough to date you, right now. So here's the deal. If someone else asked you out, go out with them. You don't have to end it with this guy, there doesn't really seem to be anything to end. BUT that's not to say, he may not come around one day. Definitely not today, or tomorrow, or two weeks from now. Just let him go. Stop initiating anything -- no calls, no e-mails no instant messages. If he calls you, sure, be a polite friend and talk. But wait for him to pursue you..if he ever does. Maybe he will realize what a great girl you are 6 months from now or a year later...by then it might be too late for him. But by you waiting patiently for him now, he's not going to realize it, cuz you are there waiting for him! He won't have a chance to appreciate you if you are putting up with this. Be a strong woman, move on, always be polite, and who knows, he may or may not come around. You won't be ruining anything by playing it that way.
2006-12-24 02:52:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't put all your eggs on one basket. Expect the worst and hope for the best. While you wait for him to come around, move on with other aspects of your life. You can still have your eyes wide open in case the real man of your life shows up. My personal opinion is that he "doesn't" have an obligation to be around Kate. If he does it is because he wants to. I would be careful if I were you. Hang out with friends, flirt with other guys. Be happy. Merry Christmas!
2006-12-24 02:48:31 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd keep Steve in the background, you know, with the IM and all. Move on with your life. If you meet someone more interesting than Steve, then it's his loss for taking too long to move. Good luck and have fun!
2006-12-24 02:49:34 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
ok heres my opinoin.. if he was really into u he would want to spend AS MUCH time with u as he can.. that includes callin and taking u out.. i think secretly he still loves this Kate girl..all ive got to say is if u really care for him hold on but if u feel like ur being used... leave now before u end up hurt
2006-12-24 02:48:53 · answer #4 · answered by angela w 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should just leave and tell him you cannot be with him you dont feel right I can tell by your question and after he reunites with this girl Kate he and if you haven't yet will realize he is not over her yet he loves her but is worried what she may think and what will happen.
(You will get Heart Broken he still loves her srry to say)
2006-12-24 02:50:13 · answer #5 · answered by happy_go_lucky 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him how your feeling that you understand that he needs to be there for his friend but not to the point that it takes away from your time together and that your tierd of him not spending time with you. Tell him to **** or get off the pot because you should not have to wait around on him to be there for you and see what happens. GOOD Luck! Merry xmas
2006-12-24 02:51:08 · answer #6 · answered by outlawprincess5321 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I say move on. If she is on the top of his priorities list then you deserve to find better.
2006-12-24 02:47:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go out and fun--maybe if he sees you doing this it'll give him a little push.
2006-12-24 02:45:03 · answer #8 · answered by smeezleme 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this man is very important to you, then you can consider to wait. If this man is not so important to you, then you might need to let go, because you are wasting your time if that man is not important to you.
2006-12-24 02:46:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Easier said than done, but I say let it go.
2006-12-24 02:47:50 · answer #10 · answered by atty2b2012 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋