I have this friend that makes having sex a "big deal", because he hasn't experienced it yet. He's In his thirties, He says he's christian but more and more its looking like he's just going the the motions...none the less he feels that because i've had past experiences that I can't justify it not being a "big deal" for him. I feel that something like that if you fuel too much can become a problem. You should make God a "big deal" in your life and the rest should follow...what do you have to say?
2006-12-24 01:20:49 · 16 answers · asked by Cute as button72886 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
You are right. Make God the big deal, and He will iron out all the wrinkles. That is His way. Every day is a new day, and the past can't hurt those who trust in God, and one who may be suffering from tunnel vision, will be changed and see the bigger picture through new understanding.
2006-12-24 02:35:07 · answer #1 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say good for him for enduring so long. It is not easy by any means. Especially because temptation is so relevant today. You look at billboards driving down the road. You turn on the t.v. Sex sells, and it is on most advertisement. Several t.v. shows center around it. It would be hard for any guy, but I think more Christian guys because they a different reason for not giving themselves to anyone but their wife.
Men are visual, it's just fact. Science and medicine have proven it. And I believed God proved it in the Bible over and over again. It is a hard day and age to be a man, a Christian, and a virgin. He sounds a little discouraged, more than anything.
You many not believe the same as he does, but if you are his friend the best thing to do would be to encourage him. Yes, it may be a big deal to you that he still is a virgin, but make sure you are respecting him and what he believes. It doesn't seem like he is shoving abstinence down your throat, so it is even more important to not make the big deal about it.
It might be a problem for him, but everyone has self control, and they're might be time they are weaker than others but this is something he believes strongly about.
2006-12-24 09:42:22 · answer #2 · answered by cinderella9202003 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I say that you both have a right to how you feel. If he is truly your friend, then drop the subject with him. If it is a big deal for him, then let it be.
Even if he is just "going through the motions", he's chosen to make this issue something important to him. It's really his life and he can choose to live it however he sees fit, just as I'm sure you'd want the same respect given for your choices and decisions.
The greater concern is your friendship. Agreeing to disagree is the best way to go.. perhaps even just saying to him, "How about we agree to disagree and just not discuss this subject for the sake of our friendship?"
2006-12-24 09:41:55 · answer #3 · answered by Kallan 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, for him that is a huge deal. He has lasted thirty years as a virgin in a society that saturates everything in sex. He may not live a Christian life as you or others may think he should, but he deserves respect and props for remaining strong in his abstinence. If talking about the subject brings up ill will or arguments, then just don't talk about it.
2006-12-24 09:27:37 · answer #4 · answered by chris 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You seem to counter yourself, is sex or is sex not a big deal for him? If he does not want to have sex, is is not a big deal in my opinion. He may seem to be going through the motions of being a christian, but his religion is between him and his god. His body is his body. If he is not hurting himself or others, why is it a big deal to you? If he is commenting on your choices, the same applys to you, too. What you do is between you and your god.
2006-12-24 09:28:10 · answer #5 · answered by bumppo 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell your friend to keep strong. I'm 32 yrs. old, and have been saving myself for marriage. Trust me, I know his pain.
Yes, it is a very big deal. There's so much pressure out there to do otherwise, and I've thought about it more times than I can count, AND have had more opportunities, but I can't see just giving it away to someone I don't really love. Tell him to keep the faith, keep strong. God will bless him in so may ways.
Take care and God bless.
2006-12-24 10:26:47 · answer #6 · answered by Danny H 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do feel faith or God (depending on what you believe) should be an important part of someone's life. However, I do not feel having sex before marriage will land you in hell. He may be scared of his religious beliefs. Some religions pound thier extreme views into followers until they are scared to try anything without being "destroyed." I personally feel if you have your own faith in any way shape or form, you should NOT push it on someone esle to make them feel bad. Each of us have our own beliefs and they are extremely personal. Do not let this friend make you feel guilty about anything you did not feel was wrong.
2006-12-24 09:32:01 · answer #7 · answered by akc6763 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sex is just sex. People like to make this huge deal about it when it's a totally natural, instictive thing. Making it into some huge, tremendous thing just leads to disappointment.
2006-12-24 09:23:34 · answer #8 · answered by alimagmel 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should make yourself the "big deal" in your life.
People who have missed out, and now regret it, often try to turn it in to a "holier than thou" virtue.
Sorry, but I had to smirk at the "going through the motions" bit.
2006-12-24 09:23:48 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
god is a cruch for people who can't deal with the real world, they like to live by some set of rules that protect them from everything that could possibly ever fun! i don't dig jesus.
2006-12-24 09:32:14 · answer #10 · answered by poo hat 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋