gift exchange? should i be mad?

Question

im the oldest of 6 ranging from 24 to 12 my mom wanted me to join a gift exchange among the kids. i didnt want to but she begged and pleaded so i agreed. the limit was at least 25 dollars. i drew my half brother justin. my mom wanted me to get him his first driving lesson. i couldnt aford it so i asked him what else he wanted. he said to get him a gift card for best buy. so my mom behind my back had my other brother bob who was supposed to get my gift buy justins driving lesson instead and is giving me the gift certifcate back so i can get the movies i want. this has rolaly pissed me off. and i am mad at my mom for begging me to get involved just to give me my gift back because her son that she has with my step father. the one that could get away with murder and does what ever he wants. half the crap he pulls i couldnt have dreamed of getting away with. so im infuraited. theres not enough space to give the full back ground but im sure you get it. help me. should i let it go.

Answer 1

no dont let it go, people like this have serious issues, surely your mother knows your financial status and she should have never forced you to get involved in this, also, she should have let you pick his present and not picked it for you. Then for her to turn around and go behind your back and do all that was a disgrace....Take this as a lesson and stay away from her, do not let her manipulate you like this ever again. She was very rude and wrong and she should be begging for your forgiveness. Christmas has gotten way out of control. It should be the thought that counts and that more often than not is not the case anymore. I hope you stand your ground and do not give in to her anymore. Also, your brother who went and got that is also in the wrong since you were chosen to give he gift and not him. Hope this helps..

Answer 2

Hey Bro,

I have pretty much the same crap in my family, I now look at it like this. The little piss ants that get away with murder, let it go. I am sure your mom, while still with YOUR dad allowed you, like me get away with murder. Now, when I see this crap going on I think. In 10 years who's really going to care and turn off those emotions and I'm fine. You have to really try to make this happen and when you finally get hold of this way of thinking you won't be bothered.

You know this kid will eventually grow up and then I'm sure he'll be cool. As far as what your mother did, it in my opinion was wrong but remember we all make stupid mistakes. All we can do is be a man about it apologize and keep moving forward. Let these small things roll off your back or you could have a stoke, heart attack even at your age, so just be cool and take it in stride and don't do the gift exchange anymore.

Good luck man!

Answer 3

The limit is $30 you don't go over. You don't have to spend the whole $30 if you don't want to but, I would at least aim for $15-20. $30 is a lot around the holidays for a gift exchange. In my opinion I would never be in a gift exchange that was that costly anyway. My limit is $10-15, no more. I would rather spend more on my family or friends...

Answer 4

It's not your half brother's fault that your mom is manipulative like this. Give him his gift and know that you did the right thing by following the rules. then, when you don't get a gift from Bob at the exchange (b/c it's been given to your half brother too) then go tell Bob that you'll be more than happy to take the gift he got and take it! Of course, this is assuming that you mom didn't have even another brother or sister not get their gift for the right person.

But--the point is--it's not just your mom's fault--It's Bob's fault too--he knows how the gift exchange works and isn't following the rules --if he doesn't get you a gift--he's the one at fault here really.

Then--and I know you know this--do not participate again----stand your ground. And try to have a good holiday.

Answer 5

Could your mom afford the first driving lesson ? if not maybe she was hoping to 'use" one of you to do it. so she would not look bad.
Or maybe your mom and stepdad can afford more and that is why the younger ones get away with so much becasue they get more to cause trouble. It may not be all your mom. Maybe your dad was more stearn than stepdad is. and mom goes with the flow.
But as for the gift you are right to feel this way. If you had given him a gift he could not use. it would be ok if he exchanged it for another gift of one of his brothers but your mom was not right.
As the old saying goes being a younger sibling is better than the older sibling as mom and dad are to tired to correct/chase the younger ones
Your mom should have approached all the other sons and asked if one could afford the driving lessons and than rig the drawing somehow if she was not going to settle for anything else.

Answer 6

Well to keep peace in the family its probably not going to be a good idea to flip out but you do have a right to be angry. You should talk to your mom and tell her how you feel about her taking over the gift exchange. If she wanted you to be in the exchange then she should have let you buy the gift. Not everyone can afford expensive gifts and driving lessons are highly expensive.

Answer 7

I am totally understanding your situation cause I was born in the broken family with my Mom die when I was 6 and have half Brother and step Mom too.
I was frustrated some situations when I was young....now, I grown, 49 year old man....a half way around the globe away from them....I think it was not worth it to upset over the materials...try to understand your Mom situation that she try to please everyone and make things smooth as it can be....be a big Brother, be a mentor....your younger brothers are just a kids....they will love and respect you more when they grown up....make things happy as any moment as you can cause the life is short....people die every day....every where....may be your Mom, your Step Dad or your Brothers may not last any longer one day....all I can say is enjoy life any moment with your family ...however they are still your family....forgive and forget....act like you don't know things happen behind your back....love and beloved...so long young man....you will understand when you about my age. Bye.

Answer 8

Wow I can see why you'd be upset. First of all you really didn't want to, then there's a set price on what to spend, and THEN your Mom meddles and acts sneaky to get the boy what SHE wanted him to have. It's a bad deal I agree, but, there's no sense in letting it ruin your holiday. Just be sure and don't get talked into it next time. Cool down some and then talk to your mother and let her know how this made you feel. Maybe that will make you feel a little better getting if off your chest.

Answer 9

Geez, I feel for you - what a royal mess. Let it go as it won't help by dwelling on it. I would, however, speak to your Mom and explain how you feel and ask that she not involve you in this type of activity again.

Suggest to her, that if a gift exchange is happening that everyone be allowed to select their own gifts without interference or manipulation on her part. She could have purchased the driving lesson herself, why involve anyone else?

Take care.

Answer 10

In this situation I would say to let it go. However in the future if something like this arises to politely beg off by saying that you really can not afford to be involved no matter how much you would like to be.

For future reference, it seems like you have had some serious issues within your family and in order to keep good feelings among you you need to distance yourself from your family. Let what happend in the past stay in the past and use your experiences as a way to help you make decisions about your future.