I have a 5 year old little girl who is a chatter box. My husband is always picking on her. He fights with her like she is his little sister. He thinks it's playing and it's hurting her feelings. When I call him on it, he says that I'm going to make her into a punk. When they play video games and he beats her he gloats and makes her feel bad for losing, and now she really feels like a loser when she loses at anything. They play fight and he NEVER lets her win or pretends to be hurt like normal parents, instead he lets her know how strong he is and that he'll never be beaten by her. Sometimes for no reason he'll trip her and think it's funny, or when I scold her he says, " ha ha" and laughs at her for getting in trouble. She forgets what I just repremanded her for bc she's 2 busy concentrating on Dad laughing at her. Help me, this is ruining my marriage. I don't like to see my daughter hurt all the time. I'm starting to hate him bc of this.
2006-12-23 23:14:00 · 28 answers · asked by Babycakes 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
And you married him because? He IS being cruel and he seems to be enjoying being cruel, both physically and mentally. Does he play the same sort of power games with you? He shows signs of an abusive personality. Are you seeing that in your personal relationship?
I think he needs therapy and you need to protect your daughter. She is in her formative years and will love her "daddy" no matter how he treats her. It will also effect how she will view her relationships with men for the rest of her life. Do you want her to seek out relationships where men treat her like this?
Think hard.
2006-12-23 23:18:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Wow...what an idiot...Sounds like he always got the short end of the stick when he was younger...this is his avenue of finally being able to feel like a winner...Some winner!...Against a five year old...he's definately emotionally stunted...Never evolved past where he was at 12...Does he take drugs?...They say that emotionally stunts you...You need to get her out of that situation pronto...Or she will be on a quest the rest of her life looking to be accepted by the male gender. She will be willing to be a door mat if someone gives her a shred of attention. (You know what I am saying)...Girls that are not looking for relations at 12...are the girls who's fathers instilled acceptance and confidence in them growing up...I would not put her back in that situation until he gets some serious counselling...It is going to be so difficult though...the courts will not let you keep her from him because of emotional abuse (and that is exactly what he is doing). I will pray for you. You need to find some super job far far away so the courts would allow you to move....
2006-12-23 23:26:13 · answer #2 · answered by ticklemeblue 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He IS insecure about himself or is jealous of your daughter,is he dad or stepdad?I am a stepdad and have a newborn also,I feel the same about my step kids as I do my own.This behavior will not just go away with a stern talk,convince him of his need for help or you must be a big girl and LEAVE.This will scar your child for life,she will never forget,I'm 40ish and I have never forgotten,matter of fact some of it very vivid still.You cannot wait any longer.Actually you may both need to attend some counseling to see if you can dial in on what the problem is if you think there is a need for him to stay.Either way it's up to you,get off your *** and get it done for her.I dont have any feelings for a man who mistreats a child.
2006-12-23 23:44:25 · answer #3 · answered by harleyman 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
This guy sounds like a bully with a sick mind. To treat a 5 year like this shows that he is mentally unstable. This is a case of child abuse if there ever was one. He's totally deranged acting like this. Might be time for you and your daughter to get away from this idiot before he ends up fatally hurting you both. Don't stand by and take any more chances. Get away; the sooner the better!
2006-12-23 23:27:20 · answer #4 · answered by quantumview 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Was your husband hoping for a son when you were pregnant with your daughter? It clearly shows in his behavior especially when he says that you'll turn your daughter into a punk, he fights with her (a little girl), etc. I think he's wrong for treating your daughter like this. These are clear signs that he wanted a son but you have to tell him how much this is affecting you and that you want you two to seek help from a therapist.
2006-12-23 23:39:13 · answer #5 · answered by Dimples 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
my dad is a good guy but growing up and him being around was a pain sometimes..he wasn't as ugly as your husband is but he would do things like in softball he would hit the ball alot harder to me and pick on me infront of the other girls if i didnt throw myself infront of it...or he would yell at me if i struck out...he was contantly having me and my other siblings clean the house and would have long lists of things for us to do...like jumpin in the pool in the middle of december to scrub it...or waking us up at 4am because the kitchen wasnt clean enough...we were almost never good enough and until now he realizes what he put us through and how it possibly effected us...he obviously somewhere down the line was bullied or has a control issue and he knows your daughter is an easy target for this...by picking on her he is getting all the attention and frankly when she gets older he isnt gonna like what he had done because she will rebell...you keep a strong relationship with her and let her know you will protect her and she can have an honest relationship with you...maybe if your husband wants control over someone he should get a dog...because you dont treat kids like that...i rebelled a little when i was older and find it hard to connect sometimes with people because i dont feel i can trust them..dont let your little girl lose that and if he doesnt grow up you do what you have to to protect your daughter
2006-12-23 23:30:03 · answer #6 · answered by michele m 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I personally would be packing my bags and taking my daughter out of that situation. It's not good for her, you or your marriage.
Your so called husband is not being a parent, he's being a bully to his daughter. He needs to grow up!
He needs to be her support not her enemy.
If he ever grows up, he might realize what he has done and will regret what he could have had. A loving relationship with a daughter.
If he thinks this is going to make her stronger, he's very wrong!
It will only make her hate him and cause more problems in the future.
Get her out of there!!!!
2006-12-23 23:23:35 · answer #7 · answered by kitt_kattkitt 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I believe this is called IMMATURITY, he needs to stop for the sanity of your child. Some of this could be stemming from his need to compete and win. Unfortunately, I have seen many men have this type of behavior, and no, it is not healthy for her self-esteem. You have absolutely every right to be mad and concerned, she will only grow-up feeling belittled and her feelings of self-worth will suffer.
On the other hand, it sounds like you are very nurturing and compassionate, and you will help heal the pain he is causing her. Have you tried explaining to him that he is hurting their relationship and that he is setting an example for the type of man she will marry one day? Ask him if he would want her to be treated poorly by her husband someday because this is the type of man she will be drawn to.
I don't know if any of that will help, but it is worth a shot. I am very curious to know if he has anger issues and any older brothers.....?
2006-12-24 00:05:58 · answer #8 · answered by stacey h 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
in case you're able to, positioned the dogs in a separate gated section and shop that section off limits to the youngsters.. No chocolate allowed in the domicile, era. Ask your individuals to no longer carry chocolate and lock up your chocolate in case you have any. whilst i became a baby and went to my grandparent's domicile, i became allowed to touch *no longer something*! and that's basically the way it became. I sat there, palms to myself. watched the small television, study a e book, or drew photos. became no longer allowed in any room different than the eating room and bathing room, and in the lounge i could be observed via certainly one of my grandparents if i wanted to observe the enormous television there. vacationing them became like going to the library. i became allowed to play, exterior. those are the individuals who nonetheless have plastic on their couches from 1955. So it worked for them. that they had 3 infants, 2 boys, pals weren't allowed over the domicile to my awareness yet i think that they had some family participants pals over the years to time. in case you attempt to talk on your individuals approximately this, it appears like they're providing you with an answer which tries to place your concerns comfortable. It appears like they're attempting to furnish you suggestion, that's probably no longer what you're searching for. Get your self a yellow sign that publicizes Quiet Zone and positioned this out in the lounge whilst the youngsters come over. advise that the youngsters use this time to do homework or some college undertaking. that is not a play date for them. they could behave as though it have been even nonetheless it truthfully isn't, because you haven't any longer have been given teenagers. they could take a seat to observe a action picture yet they could touch no longer something.
2016-10-28 07:01:14 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take your little girl and run. Your husband is cruel and abusive and it is damaging. After you are gone, tell him you will not return until he has undergone counseling for abusive behavior. Then you need to see a counselor to help you stand tall and strong for the sake of your child. I would not give him one chance when he begs you to return and promises he will be different. He will not. He has some deep-seated anger problems and it is heart breaking that your little girl has been subjected to his abusive behavior for 5 years.
2006-12-24 00:02:02 · answer #10 · answered by lindakflowers 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋