Im dating a fantastic guy only trouble is im 23 and he is 44 im starting to worry about coming out with this to my parents/familly. He has twin boys and im only 4 mths older then them there really close to him but what happens when he tells them about me i cant see it being pretty and i dont want to be the course of any trouble just want to be happy shall i end it carry on without people knowing or let it or out?? Thanks
2006-12-23 22:56:08 · 29 answers · asked by happyslappy 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Men only start growing up and taking responsibility when they're 35 - so you should congratulate yourself! You've found a well-balanced individual who also brings to the relationship experience, wisdom, better communication skills, less mood swings and 2 beautiful kids who will see you as a friend and a sister! many families would sell their grandmother to have such love and companionship at Christmas! Your parents will understand this.
2006-12-23 23:11:14 · answer #1 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's a tough one. But the only thing you have to think about is what the pair of you want. The problem with relationships that have a big age difference is the fact that you are in different stages in your life and want you want in the future may be different.
At 23, you're going to want kids someday. You're boyfriend on the other hand has already had kids who are all grown up. Would he want more somewhere down the line? Although I would consider 44 to be old, but if you were to have a child together, he would be in his late 50s or early 60s by the time that child is in their teens. Is he going to feel like a grandad rather than a dad, especially during situations where he is with other parents, e.g. school sports day, graduation, etc. Men can be very sensitive about their age.
Have a chat with him. Find out what you're both looking for in life and whether this relationship is going somewhere. If you're both agreed, then to hell with what anyone else thinks. The people who care about you will see that's you're happy, and that's what really matters.
I just hope I can find a 23 year old when I'm 44. LOL ;)
2006-12-24 00:48:22 · answer #2 · answered by DJ Rizla 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people are very happy together despite a big age difference. However, you're probably right to be concerned about his and your familie's reactions. They may have very strong opinions/reservations. You know better than anyone else just how strongly you care for this guy. Does the thought of trouble in the family frighten you away, or make you want to be there for him? Can you think with self-assurance of the years ahead when you're in your 30's and he's in his 50's? 40's/60's? The differences is age really show up strongly when one person is middle aged and the other is elderly. If none of that is enough to turn you away, then go for it and let the chips fall where they may.
2006-12-23 23:06:27 · answer #3 · answered by Holly R 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't end the relationship and don't try to hide it. If you both really love each other and really want to be together, you will be able to deal with all (if any) the problems people may throw at you. Your families will see that you make each other happy and once they have got over the initial shock of the age gap they will back down and let you get on with it. If they don't, then it's their loss. Don't throw away a happy relationship because someone else is not happy about it!!
2006-12-23 23:06:04 · answer #4 · answered by cheryl 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Think about this a lot before you commit. If he had no children it would be easier to say "just follow your heart" but this isn't just a relationship between you 2, you have the boys to consider. How will they feel about a step mom who is their age? And will it create problems for you, or for your man, in terms of jealousy? (Like if they are attracted to you as a woman or vice versa...)
As far as how your parents feel, they're not marrying him. If you love and respect each other, it's your life. But putting 2 sons in the equation alters everything. Give it lots and lots of time before you get serious.
2006-12-23 22:59:55 · answer #5 · answered by anna 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
it's only sex really..cummon it's obvious he's havin a mid life crises,he should be thinking about grandchildren at that age ffs.. to be blunt it'll never work,i get a feeling u have been treated badly by former partners!an u'll settle for any1 that show u a little attention..i have been in this predicidement many times an i assure u it'll never work..find a guy that u have intrests in together!theres no happy ever after when your young enough to be a boyfriend's daughter...
2006-12-23 23:13:42 · answer #6 · answered by auto head 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are having second thoughts and are seeing potential problems then maybe it is not the best thing for you. Do you want to waste your time in a relationship that has no future. In ten years you will be 33 and he will be 54. Good Luck.
2006-12-23 23:00:47 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I'm assuming that you are both single and free to date whoever you want. If this is the case then do not worry about something that might or might not happen; just enjoy the dating. Remember you are dating him not his children; the time to think about how to handle it is if your relationship reaches the point where he wants to make it permanent and that is his problem not yours anyway.
2006-12-24 02:32:10 · answer #8 · answered by D B 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
age is only a number follow your heart if he is sincere then why worry what someeone else thinks your opinion counts no one elses take no notice of idiots that say find someone your own age its a number the person counts love and luck you you both everybody has a right to happiness
2006-12-23 23:42:21 · answer #9 · answered by rabbit18 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What would bother me is that in 20 years, you will be 43 and he will be 64-----can he keep up with you then, or will you be the one who wants more, and you leave him. I'd worry about this instead of what you are worrying about.
The age difference is not a problem now, but it will be later on.
2006-12-23 23:00:34 · answer #10 · answered by Shossi 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋