2006-12-23 22:25:21 · 23 answers · asked by shirley_tzeling 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It's not an easy question to answer because of the complex nature of relationships. Without getting to deep into the complexities, I'll do my best to assist you.
First, have you asked yourself why the relationship isn't two sided? Have you probed for his reason for loss of an emotional tie to you?
All relationships are bound by four principles. We connect with people emotionally, spiritually, mentally and physically. In a healthy and robust relationship, the needs of others are geared to these four principles. When we meet someone initially, we connect with them on one or two levels. As time goes by, we either connect wholly on four levels and live in peace, or we decide that these connections could not be met. Some settle for one, two or three of these connections, and in so doing, never have a true connection with all four cylinders firing.
Understanding this, you must confront your boyfriend and ask where the dissconnect is. is it physical......is he not attracted to you anymore? is it mental, does he not feel you're on the page when you discuss things? is it spiritual, are you both equally yoked and have common goals as far as your spirits are concerned? Or is emotional? Are you both connected to the same level of comittment in your hearts?
The question really shouldn't be what can I do to win him back......but should be what can I do as a person to fullfill my destiny and grow to my full potential in all four areas of my life? And thus we become a being focused not on finding the right person, but becoming the right person. Will this be easy? Nothing worth while EVER is.
Focus on this and you may find that there is someone out there who you can connect with on all planes. And yes, that just may be your boyfriend. But unless you assess the situation and research where you may have the dissconnect, you'll never know. When people say they grew apart from each other, it's usually a lack of comittment from one to grow on these four levels. if we committ to grow together, the relationship has a much better chance. research your boyfriends unerstanding of working relationships, his patterns from past relationships and his family. You just may discover it's he who needs to grow, and if he will not commit your better off finding the connection somewhere else.
Hope this helps.........
God Bless
2006-12-23 23:06:06 · answer #1 · answered by uhoow 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to realize that most guys aren't good at or simply don't know how to express themselves. Yes, for me, and many girls, saying "I love you" seems like an easy feat, once you've said it the first time. But for guys it's different. Expressing any kind of feelings gives them very real anxiety and they just don't know how to deal with it. You should also realize that just because he didn't say it back doesn't mean he never will. Both people don't fall in love at the same exact time. So what if you fell in love with him first, not every one's hearts are on the same time schedule. That doesn't mean he doesn't care for you. I think you may have overreacted. My boyfriend told me he loved me first, and the day he told me, he had been acting weird all day, and I realized he was trying to get up the nerve to say it. I didn't say it back to him that day. It took me 2 more months before I said "I love you" to him because I wanted to make sure that when I said it, I actually meant it the way he did. And we've been together ever since. We'll be going on 8 years this December. I think you should apologize for overreacting. And let him know that it's okay that he didn't say it back that day. And that you understand that just because he didn't say I love you, it didn't mean that he didn't care. And just ask that when he does feel that way for you, that he let's you know.
2016-03-13 21:48:38 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Shirl! Not a damn thing. That was your final answer from him. Girl! Do you know he didn't even have to tell you that he's leaving? That was a courtesy. I had a guy walk up to me with his new chick.
Start dating someone else as a cushion for now. There's no real recovery from this and it hurts like hell. That's why you need male friends on speed dial to buffer the impact.
Plus, you can't resurect a dead dog. Give yourself a good 4 months to decompress completely while you date.
2006-12-23 22:33:41 · answer #3 · answered by L. F 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best way to win your ex back is to make him believe that you can move on. If you show weakness because of how much you love him, it will only drive him away from you. When someone tells you that they lost their desire to be with you, it is best to make yourself more desirable. How? Well in my opinion, change your style to make yourself look even better but not to dramatic. Have mutual friends of your ex and you talk about how many other guys have approached you and want to be with you. The key thing is to see if he could feel jealous of these other guys that are giving you this special attention. Maybe he will realise he took you for granted. But the most important thing is that you have to be strong and not show weakness. If he doesn't change his opinion by then, its time for you to move on and try to open your heart to someone else. Feel good about yourself and realize that you can find someone who wants to be with you as much as you do. Think about all the good qualities you poccess and how you deserve someone to treat you better than your ex is.Good luck and I hope this could be inspirational to ya.
2006-12-23 22:42:31 · answer #4 · answered by J Z 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When love is gone is gone... So what if you win him back? The feeling won't be the same anymore. If both of you are fated to be together! No matter how long it take, both of you will be together again.
2006-12-23 23:31:26 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
win him back? it should be the guy that would win a girl, not the other way around. learn from that relationship and move on, it hurts but that is life. you will come out happy someday just love yourself and be the right person and a right person will come to you :)
2006-12-23 22:41:24 · answer #6 · answered by blue violet 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, don't take me wrong... I'm just being completely honest, one thing that most guys never do.
When I told my g/f that I didn't love her anymore..she pursuaded me into a 3some with her very attractive friend, I loved it.
I discovered a new side of her that I liked, her brave & wild side.
But then that's us, I hope it'll work for you if you're willing to give it a shot!
2006-12-23 22:28:26 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Probably nothing dear. Love's a two-way street and he's probably had a LOT of time to think about it, whereas it's all new and shocking to you. You could try but I think it will be in vain.
2006-12-23 22:27:37 · answer #8 · answered by Caramella 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sweetie I don't wanna preach to you but read this & believe it! Trust me it's self therapy .......
"There are people who can walk away from you.
And, hear me when I tell you this!
When people can walk away from you: let them walk.
I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you,
loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying
attached to you. I mean hang up the phone.
When people can walk away from you, let them walk. Your destiny is
never tied to anybody that left.
The bible said that, they came out from us that it might be made
manifest that they were not for us. For had they been of us, no doubt
they would have continued with us. [1 John 2:19]
People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are
not joined to you, you can't make them stay.
Let them go.
And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person it just means that their
part in the story is over. And you've got to know when people's part in
your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead.
You've got to know when it's dead.
You've got to know when it's over. Let me tell you something. I've got
the gift of good-bye. It's the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in
good-bye. It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know
whatever God means for me to have He'll give it to me. And if it takes
too much sweat I don't need it. Stop begging people to stay.
Let them go!!
If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was
never intended for your life, then you need to......
LET IT GO!!!
If you are holding on to past hurts and pains ......
LET IT GO!!!
If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your worth.....
LET IT GO!!!
If someone has angered you ........
LET IT GO!!!
If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge......
LET IT GO!!!
If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction......
LET IT GO!!!
If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents
LET IT GO!!!
If you have a bad attitude.......
LET IT GO!!!
If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better......
LET IT GO!!!
If you're stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a new
level in Him......
LET IT GO!!!
If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship.......
LET IT GO!!!
If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help themselves......
LET IT GO!!!
If you're feeling depressed and stressed .........
LET IT GO!!!
If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling
yourself and God is saying "take your hands off of it," then you need to......
LET IT GO!!!
Let the past be the past. Forget the former things. GOD is doing a new thing
LET IT GO!!!
Get Right or Get Left .. think about it, and then .
LET IT GO!!!"
2006-12-23 22:59:51 · answer #9 · answered by Tender Po1zn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just spend some time with him. tell him how much you love him. if he stills hurts u. try for some more time. if it continuous then you no need to love someone who dont love you. Search for a boy who loves you
2006-12-23 22:34:03 · answer #10 · answered by hai da 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋