In September, my husband coaxed me into taking an ayahuasca brew with him. He claimed that it would bring us closer together as a couple and help us spiritually. I tried to convince him that I wasn't ready, but he had his heart set on it and we did it together. After the trip, I felt brain damaged, terrified, and emotionally out-of-sorts. He claims that I am the ONLY person who has had this reaction, and that I am making it up. Now, months later, I feel distant from myself, family, quit my job, have suffered false memories, INTENSE migraines (with tremors), nightmares, and feel that my identity is completely warped. Also, I have these strange "time warps", where I feel that I'm living in the past and am confused for that time. Prior to the brew, I didn't fast for the MAOI (he knew this), resisted the journey hardcore, had a mostly miserable (and painful) trip. Is there any way to get back to myself? Did the brew bring out some psychological illness of mine? How can I get my life back?
2006-12-23 19:29:04 · 1 answers · asked by scarlet_sands 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
I can't help you on my own, but there are online communities that might be able to help. Look at...
http://www.erowid.org/
http://www.dancesafe.org/ubbthreads/ubbthreads.php
...and if all else fails, go see a therapist. The fact that your husband talked you into using a powerful psychoactive drug when you clearly said you weren't ready *and* blames you for the fallout indicates some problems that are really outside the scope of an Internet message board. Take care of yourself!
2006-12-24 03:50:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋