I am a 22 year old female. I dont know what you would classify my relationship with my partner as. But I do everything he tells me to do, I go to bed when he tells me, I cook, clean etc when he tells me to, I never see my paycheck as he takes it and gives me money to spend. I have to phone and ask him if I want to go for lunch or go shopping. I do not talk to guys or hang around with guys. I just do whatever he basically wants me to do.
I do not have a problem with this, I love him and I enjoy my relationship and I have no anger towards him and I wouldnt want it to be changed but I just want to ask what other people's opinions are.
2006-12-23 18:46:07 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
No I dont personally think this is wrong. People in the old days did this so what is the big deal. He doesnt ever withhold anything from me, I just have to ask. He handles all the finances so he knows how much to spend and blah blah. But I dont really mind at all. I wouldnt change it for nothing. I just wanted to know other peoples opinions. I love my life and I am happy.
2006-12-23 18:53:54 · update #1
I dont understand you guys. Like I handle some budgets by myself, and I am in school I am studying business I just finished accounting. Its not that I cant live on my own. I have lived on my own and been fine before. But this is the way I like my relationship it makes me feel comfortable and secure. I dont understand why you guys are all getting mad. I dont see a problem wrong with it at all. I said I didnt want to change this I just wanted opinions. And i noticed very few said as long as your happy do what you want. Most people are telling me I am crazy or something. What is up with that?
2006-12-23 19:13:53 · update #2
Everyone's relationships are different because people are individuals. If that is what makes you happy, then that is what matters.
I had a girl ask me to marry her once. She wanted to be my wife, but that is all she wanted. Her interests really weren't outside of me and she didn't want them to be. Which would have been fine if that's what I wanted, but I didn't. I wanted someone who would want to do things outside of me and the household, so as much as I cared about her I told her no. I wanted her to be happy with the life she wanted and I wouldn't have been able to give that to her.
I don't see how people can say that you aren't controling your life. You know what you want and are taking it, and the guy you're with seems happy to give it to you. Really, if you're happy with it and you know what you're doing, then that's all that matters. It's the people who want you to be just like them that are controling.
2006-12-23 18:50:12 · answer #1 · answered by marklemoore 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I would say it isn't a very impowering relationship for you. You need to continue to grow and learn together... finances, investing, day too day moneyhandling and freedom of choices keeps us independant and strong in our abilities... not to go against the husband.. but shoudl shometing happen too him, you have the ability to continue on and or if he dumps you, you and your children won't be left in financial ruin...
There really is nothing wrong with the relationship as long as you are not a mindless puppet.... what happens though is men put women into their roll and the woman dump the men because they don't need us and or make our lives a living hell do too control conflicts.. two people trying too steer doesn't work...
If a woman could be independent enough but to not destroy the relationship with her stubborn control issues that would be great... and make money on top of that.. wow...
you do need to increase your skills in what ever you do, if your a secretary or office clerk, get further education, training to better your skills... get as much education as you can while your still young and make your husband understand it is to better the relationship, your job etc.. and assure him there is never any need for jealousy etc...
2006-12-24 03:05:56 · answer #2 · answered by Maken trax 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you do not have a problem with this, you are in love and happy. Then congrats. I really don't think you should be asking for other peoples opinions cause in this day and age, I am sure there are alot of ppl that will think you are crazy and your man is too. But like I said if you are happy then go on with it.
It's when you are no longer happy when you should be asking for others opinion.
GOOD LUCK!!
2006-12-24 02:53:04 · answer #3 · answered by orchidshel 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are a slave with a slaves mentality. Why do you think you are so worthless. Why don't you get a dog collar and a leash the next time you are at the store?
Ok, I don't mean to be mean. But if that is what your life with this guy is like and if you think it is OK and you don't want to change then you have an incredibly serious problem. You need to find a professional psychologist right away. Don't screw around. Do it now!!!
Good luck
2006-12-24 02:50:12 · answer #4 · answered by Alan 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are enslaved by your feelings toward him
and HE TAKES ADVANTAGE OF YOU through that.
DON'T YOU SEE?!?!? You're not a WOMAN to him:
You're a HOUSEHOLD COMMODITY that skips when he says "Go!"
Not cool.
You're victimizing yourself. He's victimizing you, too... but your own excrutiating devotion just makes it easier for him.
Don't be dumb, sweetie. He's using you and something tells me he's also cheating or about to cheat on you.
You KNOW this whole situation is inhuman:
Why do you think you posted this question in the first place, huh?
Bingo.
-BUT-
Since it's Christmas, you think ending it now would be rough.
DEAL WITH IT.
He treats you like sh!t and it's only gonna get WORSE.
Like I said; this is WRONG, this is SICK, and YOU KNOW IT!
Leave him.
He needs you more than you need him, but he doesn't LOVE YOU as much as you love HIM.
Sorry if I sound harsh, but if that's what it takes for you to open your eyes and get it, I'd yell right in your face any day.
It's for your own good.
Merry Christmas.
2006-12-24 02:59:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
OK, Before you get a million angry girls sending you posts about how you should not let your man run your life I'll just say this. People are different they want/need different things. If your happy don't let other peoples opinions change how you feel about your relationship. sometimes you need to tell the world to go to hell and just do your own thing(harder then it sounds).
2006-12-24 02:50:59 · answer #6 · answered by Dustin C 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You are asking because you doubt if you where truly and completely happy this question would never have entered your mind to ask in the first place because there would be no need to want any ones Else's opinion if you are completely happy with the way things are.
2006-12-24 03:36:10 · answer #7 · answered by flossypants 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are his robot. What happens when the relationship crumbles and what happens when he leaves you for someone else? How will you handle this? Or if he dies tomorrow? It seems to me like you have lost your identity, and that is not good. You will not be able to handle what the real world has in store for you, once he is out of your life. He has issues, and you will too. you shouldn't let anyone control you like that, even if it doesn't bother you now, it will affect you in the future physiologically-you'll be helpless.
2006-12-24 03:09:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
He is a controll freak.It will bother you later for sure.What do you love about him?He treats you like a slave.I don't think you can change him.People don't change much.You do realize there is a problem,don't you?Hoe about your freedom and what you want?You are very young.By the time you understand this,the damage will be done.Just be your own self.Do what you want to do.Life is short to be tossed around.
2006-12-24 02:56:14 · answer #9 · answered by avavu 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would have a serious conversation and then go to a councilor or something and have the both of you sit down together and make a resonable understanding. To me it sounds like he has a contorol issue and a trust issue. I would say that if the coucilor thing doesnt work out then i would definatally leave him. It is wrong for him to run your life and your own pay check like he does.
2006-12-24 02:52:10 · answer #10 · answered by Jessica 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋