My husband died in Oct after 6 weeks of marriage. We were together for 2 years, and have a now 9 month old daughter together. I've never been single in my life, and this is the first time i've ever been alone. I don't want to find a boyfriend or anything, but I get so lonely sitting in this empty house day in and day out all by myself. Maybe its just the holidays. How long should I wait before I start going out to places to meet friends? I'm afraid that if I go out, people will talk; but i'm going crazy being alone.
2006-12-23 18:35:55 · 33 answers · asked by wahkea 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I did enroll in school. I had applied and gotten accepted before my hubby died, and I am going to go. I start the second week of January
2006-12-23 19:08:48 · update #1
He died on Oct 15, 2006
2006-12-23 19:09:07 · update #2
first of all, i am sorry for your loss. been there, lived through that. there is no rule book for starting your life again. do what you are ready to do when you think you are ready to do it. if you feel comfortable, then go meet your friends. people will talk no matter what you do and know what you do about that? let them talk..they wouldn't know what to do either if they haven't lived it..my advice, go out and start living again. you can't change the facts of what happened, but you can go on..hugggggggs
2006-12-23 18:39:21 · answer #1 · answered by Tek ~aka~Legs! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My sister joined a local widow group after her husband died... it was abunch of old ladies but she and they enjoyed the young energy that she brought too the group... this would give you the oportunity to see others and possibly listen and help and learn from them...
for serious dating... I don't know.... what ever you feel comfortable with... a year used to be the norm.. but.. 6 weeks is still shy of two months.... I would find something to go do...
what have you always wanted to do but couldn't cause of the marriage... I mean... like night school, college, cooking class, sky diving, I know you still have a little one.... why don't you take this time in your life too find out what makes you tick by doing new things rather then experiencing new people.. that will happen while your doing what you have never tried?
how about snow skiing?, joging?, Karate?, or start a business?
just ideas... good luck and sorry for your loss.
2006-12-23 18:45:11 · answer #2 · answered by Maken trax 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You wait as long as you need to...being alone isn't a bad thing either and it doesn't mean you have to be lonely. You just don't seem to have the skills for it. First of all your child is old enough to be in day care for a few hours a day, why not take classes (alot of colleges also have day care centers) or take up a new sport, new hobby, join parents without partners (it's not just for divorced parents), join women's groups to cultivate friendships. I would say that the only reason you are lonely is that you're sitting at home waiting for the world to come to you...it doesn't work that way.
2006-12-23 18:45:22 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion, you need to do what feels right to you.
Maybe look for a grief group or similar organization in your area. The facilitator will probably have resources and referrals for you as well as the company of similar souls you might find in the group.
If you can't find an organization like that, there may be something for single parents, or even just a hobby club for some activity you are interesting in.
Don't worry about what people say and think. If you don't give them something to talk about they'll just make it up anyway.
2006-12-23 18:47:33 · answer #4 · answered by heart o' gold 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd say give it a year, especially since you have such a young child. When you get lonely, call up family or visit if you're close enough. You need plenty of time to grieve and heal before you can move on. I'm assuming you loved your husband of course. There are cases where it would be alright to date immediately, but it sounds like you miss him terribly. Think about all the happy times, it may sound weird, but happy memories help you heal.
2006-12-23 18:38:23 · answer #5 · answered by T.M.Y. 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When you feel it is right and necessary for you then go ahead. You could wait forever for approval of some folks and others will have their own opinion. Do for YOU. It literally IS true that if momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy. Nothing at all wrong for you to be active socially. Some churches are a good place to start and there are other good places too.
2006-12-23 18:41:00 · answer #6 · answered by DelK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry for that what happened. But just do something, that it will help you to feel better. If you are ready to go out or date somebody, so do that. You shouldn't stay alone. To be alone, you will go crazy and it is not good for your child either.
So don't care about other people, just do the best for you and your baby.
Wish you all the best.
2006-12-23 18:47:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to hear about your loss.
Traditionally, it's one year.
On the other hand, you haven't been married very long. Furthermore, if you're simply feeling lonely, there's absolutely nothing wrong with going out and talking to people. As far as people talking, I think that should probably be the least of your worries - they don't have to live your life, you do.
Best of luck to you.
2006-12-23 18:39:08 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The answer is in you. When you're ready. No reason why you can't go out. There are no rules you must stay in and go stir crazy. If peope talk it's their problem. It's your life and your sanity. It's your grief. You absolutely need to go out and be with friends. Comfort of others is good therapy. Let's you know you're not alone.
2006-12-23 18:43:00 · answer #9 · answered by cripesokay2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why have you waited this long? You can't pssibly think that you are doing this in his honour. People need people. You can really mess with your mind sitting around alone and depressed. Besides. that kid is gonna start picking up social habits from you anytime now. Better get to work setting an example.
2006-12-23 18:40:01 · answer #10 · answered by your_name_here 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋