What to do when a "friend" who have no kids tell you what to do with yours?

Question

I went to dinner with a friend who has no children. I got really upset with my kids cuz they were crawling all over the place. She tried to butt in and give unwanted advice about how to control them. She knows cuz she saw super nanny and her aunt has 3 wonderful boys. So now she is implying that i'm not a good mother. I told her that I'm tire of people who have no kids telling mothers how to raise theirs. I guess she got offended. Bottom line: friendship is over...my annoyance with my kids reminded her of her own mother which raised her concern. What do you think?

Answer 1

as a mother i know how annoyed i get when my daughter doesn't listen, so on that point i understand you. and i also do not want any advice from anyone who doesn't have kids. my sister in law tried to tell us that the reason our daughter has a speech delay is because we baby her....she has not had children of her own. i was very mad that she even said that. i wouldn't be talking to that "friend" anymore either.

Answer 2

I dont have kids myself, I am just five months pregnant with my first child, however, do not get discouraged that your "friend" thought you were a bad mother. All kids get hyper sometimes, and kids will be kids. So what if they were crawling around? As long as they wernt breaking things or potentially harming themselves, I dont see a problem with letting them have fun. They will only be children for so long, we need to let them enjoy it while they can. I often wonder how these people that think that they can do so much better will really be like when their time comes. Every child is different, as is every parent and personally I think that if she doesn't respect you and the way you raise your children you dont need her in your life. Surround yourself with positive people...

Answer 3

I agree with the answer Star gave you. But I would like to add one thing. People who have children don't always know what's the best thing for their kids. They don't have all the answers and it never hurts to listen to advice. Take the advice or don't. It's up to you. But it sounds to me that if you were that confident that you are always so "right" in everything you do raising your kids, you wouldn't have given it a second thought when your friend made a suggestion. You owe her an apology and you need to start listening. Oh, and by the way, I have children. And like every other parent, I made mistakes, I listened to advice, and in the end, I was lucky. They both turned out to be great people who are now raising their own children.

Answer 4

What to do when a "friend" who have no kids tell you what to do with yours?
You listen. She may have some tricks you have not heard of. Just because someone doesn't have kids doesn't mean they know nothing about them...unfortunately in some cases LOL...but seriously, I am sure if she was your friend she was not thinking you know nothing about raising children. She was most likely thinking how can I help my friend so this is easier for her.

Answer 5

You have the right to raise your kids the way you think is right. This is an annoying habit (my sister does it all the time) but I have perfected the "nod and smile" method. Give it a try. She might at least feel like you're not disregarding her, but you should continue to do the best you can in your own way

Answer 6

I think your right, I hate it when people with no children try to tell me how to raise mine. I also hate it when another person who is a parent tells me how to raise them. Just because it's right for one parent, doesn't mean it's right for all parents.
Go to your friend and try to explain that those are your children and you will raise them as you see fit. You don't mean to put her down or anything, but untill she has children of her own, she will never understand where your'e coming from.

Answer 7

Don't complain about your kids in front of her.
And if she told you anyway without asking her, just listen to what she has to say, sometimes outsiders can see a better view of you and might just be right.
If you think that she is not right, try to change the subject so that you won't have to listen to what she has to say.

Answer 8

I don't really go along with what Supernanny says. But, I feel everyone should deal with their kids the way they want to. As long as you weren't abusing your kids in anyway, it's fine. If your friend can't respect your decisions, she probably isn't worth being your friend anyways.

I also love how people with no kids themselves, think they know everything there is to know about parenting.

Answer 9

its hard being friends with single people some times especially the know it all ones. Go to a mommy and me type of club and make new friends with them you can switch out play dates and make some great friends that can share your experiences and get good advice

Answer 10

Ignore her. I don't take advise from prople who don't have kids, because unless you experience motherhood first hand you don't know what you will do. All children are different, so what she thinks works for her nephews may not work for you kids anyways.