I am 33 weeks pregnant. My ex-boyfriend and I have been apart since October. For a while, I was clinging to the hope that we would be back together ... over this past week I have finally accepted that we will not.
I have recently met a nice man who wants very much to take me out on a date. He is mature, attractive, and interested in me. I know that I am not over my ex, but it is the holidays and its very hard to be alone. If I have explained my situation to this other man and expressed that I want to move slowly, is it wrong for me to go out with him, knowing that I am still in love with someone else?
2006-12-23 18:19:02 · 23 answers · asked by justsumchickie1 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I am trying to take it easy, I do nothing but sit in the house with my mom ... and I would like to get out and spend time with someone. We have talked several times, and he has only brought this up recently. I explained to him that I needed to think about it, and he has been quite understanding.
When it comes to relationships, no, I guess I'm not very mature. My ex and I were together for over a year and that was the only long-term relationship I've ever been in ... and I don't want to end up hurting myself or someone else. That's why I am asking for your advice! Thanks to all of you who have answered seriously and compassionately ....
2006-12-23 18:39:30 · update #1
No, it is not wrong for you to go out with him.What you have to ask yourself is who is the one that is with you right now,for tomorrow has it's own problems, and it's obviously not your ex.
Another thing is your child,your child needs people in his life who is dependable and reliable and in the end you might save him/her from getting let down by their dad.You deserve to be happy, your just hanging on to a feeling that you shared with your ex, if it was meant to be for you two he would be there for you right now making you feel that way.
If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doens't want you, nothing can make him stay.
Never life your life for a man and his behaviour.
Allow your intuition to save you from a heartache.
The only person you CAN control in a relationship is YOU.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.
Don't EVER make a man feel he is more important than you are....even if he has more education or a better job.
Do not make him into a quasi- god.
Goodluck....and remeber, you deserve better than a man that let's you down when you need him most
Catherine xxx
2006-12-23 18:50:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think there's nothing wrong with going out with this man. The key will be keeping things in perspective. Your "breakup" is fresh and who knows how you (and your ex) will feel once you have your baby. Have you explained that you are still in love with your ex? The breakup is relatively fresh, but if you feel this guy is a "good guy" I don't believe it can hurt. The only caution I would give is to ensure you REALLY like him, and that you're not just clinging to him to AVOID loneliness. Many women end up in "iffy" relationships because they happened to meet a guy at a time when they were vulnerable and afraid to be alone. I wish you a great Holiday season and much happiness in the New Year!
2006-12-24 02:32:08 · answer #2 · answered by ArrestingDistraction 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Love I think as you said yourself, you need to take it slowly. Why don't you wait until the baby's born, and you to settle your own grounds with the father of the baby. Bringing another man to your life just because you don't want to be alone for the holidays is a bit selfish, wouldn't you say? And if the new guy is persuassive about this, sorry to say, I'll take him as a non-gentleman and probably just a guy with prego-fetish.
Be healthy okay? Not only from the outside, but inside :) Consentrate more on your unborn's health and I think it's better if you stay in with your family/relatives or maybe parents for a while :)
2006-12-24 02:27:06 · answer #3 · answered by Zenithia Victora 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No, if you want to go out on a date, knowing that you are still not over your ex, that's up to you. But you are going to have a lot on your plate once your baby is born. I don't think I would start up another relationship when I'm still not over my ex and I'm pregnant. I think I would take this time to prepare for the baby's arrival, even if you are a little lonely. But that's just me.
Good luck.
2006-12-24 02:26:39 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Nope. You will not be 'going out' with him you will be dating him and since dating means getting to know each other the answer is absolutely it is ok. You and this man may end up as friends, and I cannot think of one person that truly has too many friends, know what I mean??
2006-12-24 02:22:09 · answer #5 · answered by Star 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start out as friends, and go out with him. You never know, he might end up being the man of your dreams. Don't give up a chance at a future just because of a stupid, immature ex boyfriend!
2006-12-24 02:32:42 · answer #6 · answered by wahkea 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try to be practical.
U tried to get along with ur love but were not successfull.
Whats the point in clinging on to a relation that is not going to materialise???
U have to move on and make him move out of ur mind.
Get along with this new guy whom u feel is like cares for u and will help u get out of your loneliness.....
It may be or may not be a long term relation for you but atleast you will have a break in life helping you to move on with ur life....
So i dont feel like you are wrong in any sense and hence would suggest you to move ahead with it without any regrets........
All the very best for u and ur Baby.......
Take Care ..............
2006-12-24 02:27:04 · answer #7 · answered by Vizz_up 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
start out as friends, hey any man that wants to spend time with you @ 33 wks pregnant with another mans child sounds like a nice guy to me. Maybe after spending quality time with him your feelings will change towards you ex. ALSO my hubby and I had BIG issues when I was pregnant at one point I moved out - after the baby was born he became "normal" again after crap loads of counseling it came to light that he was kinda grossed out by the belly, it took me some time to accept it and we worked thru it but almost 2 years later we are going very stong.
2006-12-24 02:20:34 · answer #8 · answered by cvegas229 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I'm sorry, but I think it is very wrong! You said this guy is mature, it sounds like you're not very mature. Just because you don't want to be alone for the holidays seems like a bad excuse to test the waters when you still have feelings for somebody else. It isn't fair to him, even if he does like you.
2006-12-24 02:23:38 · answer #9 · answered by david w 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
hi there in a word ....NO !! look sweetheart you have got this big bump in front of you ...youre baby you have told this guy whats going on in youre life ,and he wants to spend time with you ,and get to know you and you can get to know him ,this could be the man of youre dreams ...of course you still have emotions going on they will change from day to day until youre baby comes into this world .......and it might not be love that you feel for youre X it could be the baby that you love .......give this a try and you never know where it will take you .....good luck and take care .....merry christmas xx
2006-12-24 02:26:49 · answer #10 · answered by a parent hows been there !! 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋