am a twenty three year old woman with a nearly two year old child i am a single mother. When i was pregnant with my daughter her father walked away and told me she wasnt his. At the time i was thinking it was a good thing becuase he was heavily (and i think still is ) into drugs. apart of me wants to be a family with him again but apart of me KNOWS better. we argued alot. and now he quit calling alltogether. He hasnt payed support for her at ALL. He met her when she was allready six months old and hasnt seen her since and in three months shell be two years old. WHY do i still have feelings for him? are they legitimate feelings? Why cant i just GET over him and move on? ive dated but i still cant get my mind off him HELP!
2006-12-23 18:14:49 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
The reason you can't get over him, is because you look at part of him everyday. I'm sure that everytime you look at your daughter, you see your ex, the good times that you did have, and the wonderful being that you created together. Thats the part that sucks. My husband passed away in October, and everytime I look at our daughter (9mo) I see him, or I see her do something that he would do, etc. I know that because of that, I will never be able to ever forget him, even if I wanted to. This is something that I would imagine doesn't ever go away. Thats why you can't get over him. If he's into drugs and alcohol, then you just need to accept that maybe your daughter is the only good thing that came from your relationship. He's the one thats missing out, not you and your daughter. There's someone out there that will treat you like a queen, and will love your daughter like his own. You'll find him, most likely when you quit looking.
Hope you have a Merry Christmas
2006-12-23 18:21:27 · answer #1 · answered by wahkea 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Obviously you loved him when the two of you were together and love is something that, when its true love, never dies. It'll fade away with time in most cases but in some it may take a lot longer.
However, i dont think its him you're still needing. In general its possible that you are just craving somebody to help you raise her and support her, so she can have a father figure in her life. it may not even be him you actually want in your life (although i can understand why you would since he's her biological father) but like you said, you know better. she deserves somebody who will be there for her at all times and support her like you have. every child deserves the best and there is somebody better for her out there and somebody better for you.
If he would clean up and get off the drugs (if he is in indeed using) then maybe he'd be a better man for you and for her but its hard to trust that and the chance of that happening is slim. its not him you need, its somebody (a man) in general to come into your life and be there for you and your daughter. Just give it time, itll work out, nobody wants to put their kid into a situation with a guy like that. Good luck!
2006-12-23 18:56:36 · answer #2 · answered by JMan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wish there were answers to why you still have feelings for him and can't get over the guy. It's likely that something you learned as a child makes it feel "right" to you to when you are with a guy who doesn't honor you, treat you properly, and provide support which he ought to do. Someone suggested that they have to do with a "rush" involved in the good-bad parts of the connection with him. The feelings are no doubt at all, legitimate. Would you be wise to do what they urge you to do? Of course not!! Do you feel, deep down inside, that you deserve better treament than he's given you?
2006-12-23 18:26:50 · answer #3 · answered by DelK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel for you honey. I am a single mom with 4 children. I was with their dad for 13 yrs. But he got into drugs, and completely changed. He left us and ended up in prison. As much as I loved him and I guess still do. My children are better off without him in their lives. Your main objective is your daughter. Whatever you have to do to get over him and move on, you need to do it. If for nothing else, do it for her. She needs a strong independant mother as her role model. This man does NOT deserve you or your daughter. Forget him, and find yourself a REAL man.
GOOD LUCK!!
2006-12-23 18:30:15 · answer #4 · answered by orchidshel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like it might not be TRUE feelings you have for him...I think you just want a family. Move on!!!! He isn't worth it. Someday he WILL regret missing out on the greatest experience in a mans life...watching his child grow up. Do what is best for your chid. You dont want your child around a drug user. Find somebody that will love you and him or her. Take it slow, you WILL find somebody special!
2006-12-23 18:30:56 · answer #5 · answered by david w 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you inlove with garbage? Also be honest, did you sleep with more than just him? For him to deny the child. And also you need to go to OCSE office of child support enforcement. Go online and see where one is near you. HE NEEDS TO TAKE CARE OF HIS CHILD! I am personally sick of paying taxes to take care of unnecessary welfare recipients. Worry about getting some funds that are rightfully yours for the child. If he is a drug dealer he's a loser point blank. Wake up and start doing the right thing in life. Also you need to read a dictionary by the looks of your spelling! Terrible!!! Think about it.....
2006-12-23 18:23:30 · answer #6 · answered by prettysexycalves 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this still available feeling that u own it to him , i think it is still connnected due to the existance of this daughter,,, what u have to do is to try to set ur mind free from ur daughter and think in this relation with him whether it still holds some meaning or whether u think it will be able to refresh it or not since many things happened and can be taken into consideration.
after doing this i think u can reach an openion
2006-12-23 18:25:35 · answer #7 · answered by that is me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go get some councilling for this. It may help you. Good Luck.
2006-12-23 18:18:07 · answer #8 · answered by Biker 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋