Anyone else have problems with their mother????

Question

My mother is very mean to me.........always insulting me,calling me fat"she knows that really hurts me" anything she can do to belittle me.The worst part is i have no other family and for financial problems i have had to live with her.She constantly tell me i am homeless,she can kick me out and i can sleep in my car and it goes on and on.I have been depressed to the point where i did not think i could go on 1 more day,i have even began getting panic attacks and going to the er on a regular basis.I have children and the fact that they have to hear the way she treats me pretty much destroys me!!!!b I have not been able to find and keep a decent job,and have no where been able to afford my own place.How do i continue going on like this without going crazy or ending my life???The emotional pain i am in is unbearable???PLease help!

Answer 1

It sounds like your mother has some control issues. Sometimes, people don't understand that the way to help someone or motivate them is not to make them feel bad. Insults never make anyone want to change their lives, all they do is gurt- especially from your mother! She is supposed to be supportive and loving towards you. Have you tried talking to her? If not, start by saying that you really appreciate her letting you stay with her. Maybe ask for her help in finding a job, or ask for her advice. If she insults you, tell her that all that does is hurt you, not motivate you. You need her support and encouragement- you need someone to make you feel like you can accomplish things, like you can do this. That's what you need from her. At least ask her not to insult you in front of your children- they don't need to hear that. Again, remind her that it doesn't motivate you, it just makes you feel terrible about yourself which accomplishes nothing.

Now, you're clearly depressed, and I'm guessing your mother has more than a little to do with it. You need to remember that you're better than she is making you out to be. You're obviously a caring person. If you want to turn things around, you should probably start by finding a job and keeping it. There must be a reason you're having trouble holding down work, but, not knowing what that is, I can't help you conquer that. I can tell you, though, that if you're really having a tough time getting a job, temp agencies are quiet helpful, and they often have prettty good paying positions available in a variety of fields. Having your own financial security is so important. It makes you feel better about yourself, and you'll feel good about doing something for your kids, whom you obviously love very much. Once you're financially set, which will take a while, I won't lie, you can find a place of your own if you're still having trouble with your mother.

You deserve to be happy. You just need to find a way. Good luck and I hope this helped.

Answer 2

A womans shleter would help you I know it may seem like the unwanted choice but maybe you will make some new friends and the staff wil have contacts for you to better yourself. Like a job info line or education, childcare, etc.
OR maybe check out through the you dept of welfare in the area and ask about section 8 housing and get on the list, then checkout a shelter.
You really have to tune her out, I know it is easier said than done trust me. But maybe when you get a chance to be w/ your kids and leave her place, like visiting a friend, going to a park, sled riding, or just get out for a walk.
Forgive her for she really knows not what she is doing. You may end up leaving her *** and moving to another state, and finding a great career. She may be cutting her own throat because now that she has the time to be w/you and love and laugh with you she is wasting it.
Your kids love you and need you don't think of doing anything that would take YOU out of their lives. Your mom doesn't sound like the kind of person (the way she is now) that should be raising your precious children.
Good luck to you.

Answer 3

You don't say how old you are, how many kids you have, how long you have been there, if you drink, do drugs? How much have you contributed to the household since moving in? cleaning, cooking, laundering, etc...

You must keep in mind that you are in your mothers house.... with your children (how many did you say?). I'm sure this is something she never intended. Yes, we can feel sorry for you, but sometimes, you forget how much additional stress you add when moving back in with a parent. The rules have changed. You are no longer a child she is responsible for. You (I believe) are an adult. Sometimes, moving back in with mom makes it real easy to become childish again. Perhaps mom has become so frustrated with the situation that she doesn't know how to properly help anymore.

I suggest figuring out why you can't hold down a decent job. How many have you gone through since moving back in with mom? Does she also care for you children while you are at work?

Clean the house, cook her a nice meal, tell her you love her and are lucky that she lets you live with her during this trying period. Ask her for suggestions and above all, don't yell or spew insults back. That will only make matters worse.

Good luck.

Answer 4

Honey, only you can help you! We can give you all kinds of advice, but none of it is going to do any good, if you don't act! GET OUT OF YOUR MOM'S HOUSE with your kids! You are teaching them it is okay to be verbally abusive! You are being abused by your mom, and that is how she is letting you know that she really doesn't want you there, but can't come right out and tell you! You need to find your own way! There are shelters, there are govenment agencies that help, and esp. if you have kids! There is no reason for you to be dependant on your Mom. You are an adult, so get up off your rear, and go get some help for yourself and your kids! You'll be amazed at how much better you will feel about yourself.
I apologize if this hurts your feelings, but you are responsible for yourself now, not your Mom! By the way, how long have you been staying with your Mom, and how many kids do you have, and how well behaved are they, and who watches them, and makes sure they are getting the care they need, you or your MOM? I don't blame your Mom, if you are old enough to get pg, and have kids, then you are old enough to be responsible for them. If you can't be, then give them up to the state and let someone take care of them that will be responsible! Your Mom raised her kids, she isn't too thrilled about raising yours too! My Mom was always there for me, but I took responsibility for my kids even though I was very sick, and almost died, but I still was there with her!
So, quit complaining, and start ACTING! If you need help, get help!!!!!!!!

Answer 5

we all have problems with our parents.

sounds to me like your moth needs some mental health. if you want out of the house and your between 16 and 25 and in the USA then try and join Job Corps. they will give you a place to live whal teaching you a valuebal trade like...hmm well the trades they offer differ from location to location. the one i went to was pretty good and the food was not bad. look in to it if you can. go to the nearest umployment department and ask about job core.

Answer 6

*hugs*

My mother is difficult too. I tune out and let her live her own drama- there's no reason for you to involve yourself. Its difficult but eventually you can live your own life and leave her to worry about her own.

In the meantime, spend time away from her- work, school, friends.

Answer 7

confident omg i basically cant stand ma mom acceptable now she is tryin 2 run my life. she has no have faith in me n she say i do no longer relish her she has threatened me dat shes gonna kick me out n she thinks im a slut dats gonna finally end up pregnant at sixteen n im 15!!!

Answer 8

why dont you go to a womans shelter.....they would be happy to have you and even help you. your mom is probably only mean to you because she thinks that it will motivate you to get out on your own. try not to let it bother you, just shrug it off and say, 'ya, i love you too mom'. thats what i used to do to my mom.

Answer 9

To your initial question, problems with their mother, my answer is yes, I have a problem with my mother. She died 5 years ago. Be very glad your mother is still with you. And for God's sake, GROW UP!!!

Answer 10

i would go to a shelter, at least until you can find a good job. good luck.