O.K. this could be long so I am sorry about that one. My sister and I became close again about 15 years ago. I did everything for her children, my neice and nefews. Firt she left her kids with a not so great father, because she decided she was over being a mother. She didn't speak to them for 2 months. This is something that happend about 2 1/2 years ago. I have a daughter, I could never imagin leaving mine, for my own wants. She hurt these beautiful children so much, and it is still weighing on my 14 year- old neices heart. My sister is the type of person who is only worried about herself, no one else. She is still doing this to this day. So, with how close we were, how can I get it back??? It sounds awful, but I just don't feel LOVE towards her. She has hurt our family so much, but she never takes the responsiblity for her actions, everyone else is always to blame. I'm fine with only talking to her beacuse of the kids, but I care nothing about her. Is this right?
2006-12-23 17:58:46 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I hear you very well and I feel your heart and soul. I want you to be the way you are and learn how to let go. She, Your sister will not change if she does not want to. So for the sake of your nieces and nephew you have to communicate with her. Give all your love to her children then you do not force yourself to love her. She is not a giving person and she needs help.You only can do so much and let go about love. I admired a person like you who has big heart and I wish you have the best in this world. Merry Christmas to you.
2006-12-23 18:13:10 · answer #1 · answered by ryladie99 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes we have abusive people in our families - its probably good to occasionally offer some bridge to her but on the whole Id say avoid her.
Im sure you've had words with her - but the next time you do, try an intervention - tell her what she's done, how its affected you, and the others in the family - and what she needs to do (ie go into counseling or therapy). If she refuses calmly tell her you will be cutting contact with her. It helps if several other members of the family are there, expressing their same feelings on it. Its also good to have an unattached moderator/friend to keep everyone cool headed.
Most of all let her know that you love her but that her callous behavior will not be tolerated - especially since its hurting her own children.
Its tough love - but sometimes thats the only way.
2006-12-23 18:06:46 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can forgive but never forget. I see your point..I have a nephew who is doing the same thing to his mom. And she is the one with the grandchildren, because his new wife doesn't want them around, because they remind her too much of his ex-wife. I really don't think you will ever get it back, and what you are doing is probably the only thing you can do. I think the way you feel is normal. I have 2 daughters, grown up and on there own and I am still in the same city as they are, cause I love them and want to be near them and my grandchildren, so I don't understand her ways at all.
2006-12-23 18:07:24 · answer #3 · answered by myninny54 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I fought with my sister a week ago.We both love each other very much but we are both very stubborn and neither one of us wants to make the first step to make up.I already forgave her cause she's my sister after all and I love her but I'm not planning to apologize to her cause I consider that I didn't do anything wrong.
2006-12-23 19:25:25 · answer #4 · answered by black_cat 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
it seems you have anger towards her which is understandable, try maybe talking to her and see if you can reason with her!
2006-12-23 18:02:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
just let it go
2006-12-23 18:03:43 · answer #6 · answered by One Love 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋