My husband wants me to eccept his 'step' son..?

Question

This is all so weird to me!!
My husband has been devorced from his X-wife for nearly 30 years, and was married to her for six yrs.
He had a step son when they were married but it ended in devorce.
For years there was no contact between them, then my husband decided to track him (the step son) down.
He found him living in CA with a wife and family.
My husband and I have been married for two years now, and he
has repeatedly tried to push this X step-man down my throat,
by wanting me to eccept him as my step child, and treat him like one of the family.
I decided to post this question after getting a phone call from his
X-wife, telling my husband that his X-stepson was on his way to spend the holidays with us!!
I am still shaking from the anger I felt inside, especially when my
husband thought that was a good idea.
Not to mention the fact we already have family coming for christmas.
Am I wrong not to eccept him as my step son?

Answer 1

Wow. That's the dumbest thing I think I've heard in a LONG time. You should be angry. 30 years is a very long time to go without contacting someone, especially if you've known them for just six years. Your husband obiously felt no love in his heart for this man and is wrong to ask you to accept the son of the other wife into your heart with open arms especially after your husbands behavior. Do what you think is right but I just don't think you should have to do that. Be nice to the step-son, but don't make him family unless YOU decide you love him enough to do that.

Answer 2

I'm trying to figure out why it matters. This is an opportunity to love someone. That is always a good thing. For God sakes wake up and take advantage of it. You act like love is a commodity in short supply. It isn't. The more love you send out into the world, the more there is.

If you treat this person with love and respect, he will likely return this love and respect to you. How bad can that be?

You are seeing this as a threat of some sort. This is nonsense, a simple delusion you are having. Wake up and think about what you are doing before you ruin the holidays for everyone involved. These thoughts you are having show a deep insecurity of a juvenile nature.

Think about it.

Love and blessings Don

Answer 3

That appears like an tremendously offensive call! i think of it somewhat is a foul thought, and could finally end up with your son looking it very no longer uncomplicated to locate jobs whilst he's older, as he may well be discriminated against. additionally, he will in all threat get bullied, and individuals will possibly no longer take him heavily if he says his call is 'Holocaust'. human beings affiliate the Holocaust with damaging emotions and terrible thoughts and pictures, you do no longer desire you son portrayed and theory-approximately in this variety of way, do you? you're saying your husband needs a 'arguable' call. arguable = controversy = arguments and disagreements. you would be making your son difficulty to a brilliant form of contoversy that he will possibly no longer desire. i'm beneficial you's could stumble on a memorable call that isnt basically as offensive. sturdy success! P.s. Joshua is a advantageous call :) i desire you's can stumble on a chuffed medium between the advantageous, uncomplicated call you desire and the greater unusual one your husband needs!

Answer 4

if you love your husband you should accept the stepson maybe your husband is the only father that the has ever known I don't know your sititution but you should show some love by it being the holidays it's not like you will see him all the time that way you can say you did give it try if it works out or not just think about it first before you just say no.

Answer 5

Whether or not they have been close in the past doesn't matter. It is his son. I hate to seem rude, but I don't understand why you don't want him to come. Isn't he family too? It would be like your husband refusing to accept one of your children that wasn't his. You wouldn't tolerate that from him for very long, and I doubt that he will tolerate it either. You should be happy that they are finally getting to know each other. In my opinion, it's a sad thing to see a parent and child estranged no matter what age they are.

Answer 6

i dont see why you wouldnt accept him, its not his fault that your husband tracked him down, if he is a nice guy there is no reason to punish him due to resent involving the ex or whatever the core issue is. Let him spend the holidays with you. you may learn to care for him. dont judge the boy based on the ex wife. and i also think it takes a lot of balls for your husband to show that he cared for the boy, no matter how things worked out with him and the ex wife. your husband seems like a stand up guy to me, and id be grateful for him, and do him that favor. a lot of men wont have anything to do with their own kids, needless to say someone elses.

Answer 7

When you married your husband you also married his family. The stepson was and is a part of his family and life. Either accept it or get out.

Answer 8

He's a grown man, he doesn't want you to be responsible for him as his new mommy. He just wants to ne able to spend some time with the man he knew as his father for six years and the people around him who are supposed to care.
Settle down and just be considerate to the guy, that's all anyone wants.

Answer 9

Im in the same situation when you get with someone you take on that life if you dont want that then get out of it dont make him choose between you or his son.. My father did that to me and it is hard to forgive him for the pain he has caused in my life

Answer 10

well...really he is not your step son
but your husband's step son from a prior marriage
he is not a biological child
altho i think it is admirable of you spouse to want a relationship with the step son
i do not think it should be pused on you if you do not want to
he should think of your feelings as well
best of luck to you