We went out for a few mths before he dumped me. I had cut off him off totally, not replying his messages and all. He took my virginity, and wasnt there to support me when my family member passed away. He said he hoped we still can be friends and not cut him off completely. But I felt it's difficult.
2006-12-23 17:06:45 · 26 answers · asked by rainbow 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Thank for the answers :) i'm touched :)
I feel better now, I havent been in touch with him for months now, though he messages occasionally to say hi, but only recently I decided to delete him completely since I havent been replying his messages anyway, so I thought there's no point in keeping him in my contact list.
I feel assured now, after reading the answers, especially the fact that keeping an ex-bf around might jeopardise future relationships, besides the fact that we really had nothing to talk about already.
Thanks :)
2006-12-23 20:29:46 · update #1
you havent went into details or anything, but from the sounds of it, he was pretty much using you... I think the only reason he's saying he hopes you can still be friends is so that he might have a chance to get you in bed again...
from the sounds of it, he pretty much used you, and he's obviously not a very good "friend" if he wasnt there for you when your family member passed away, which is really what makes me think there's only one thing he wants from you...
so the best advice I can give you, even though it may be difficult, is to completely cut him off... you did the right thing initially... if you allow him to be a significant part of your life after the way he's treated you, you're showing weakness of character, and he's never going to truly respect you... besides, keeping him around will only complicate future relationships... I've found that's true in every single relationship...
here's some good advice for you.... advice I wish I would have recieved forever ago...
Two things that people who are "together" fight over all the time... one of them is sex, and the other one is previous boyfriends/girlfriends... do yourself a favor and eliminate one of those... if a relationship ends, even if it isnt on bad terms, end it completely... don't keep him around to be friends, because sooner or later, those emotional feelings are bound to come back for at least one of you, and it's going to make whatever relationship you're currently in a nightmare...
2006-12-23 17:29:45 · answer #1 · answered by luke 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How does one do that? You obviously have issues with him and a lot of history between you. It is scientifically & emotionally impossible. It might not mean so much to him, but it does to you I can tell. He might want to keep you around for a backup or so he can brag. You will never move on if you stay connected to him in any way. Maybe years from now when you are grown and married and the hurt is gone, you might speak to him when you happen to meet somewhere. No other guy is going to accept you being friends with an X anyway. Just let it go..... You'll be better off.......
2006-12-23 17:10:09 · answer #2 · answered by char__c is a good cooker 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't be friends with him at all. Don't even give him the time of day. What he did was atrocious... not supporting you (emotionally) when your family member passed. My ex-boyfriend did something similar... I found an email amongst his family members talking about me being a hillbilly (I lived in Oklahoma at the time and these were the stuck-up New Yorkers... funny thing is I moved to NY after college, but I'm not like his family was). Anyhoot, when I confronted him, he didn't even stand up for me. Please don't even bother with this guy. You probably have an attachment to him because you lost your virginity to him, but he isn't worth anything. You deserve better.
2006-12-23 17:10:55 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Move on. Having a relationship with this guy is negative. He took your virginity and then dumped you. What an A#@^*^*(^. Get rid of him. Forget him completely, ignore him completely. Life would be better without him. All the best.
2006-12-23 17:30:25 · answer #4 · answered by idfg 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He wounded you by the sounds of it. A few months of dating... you give yourself over to him..... emotionally wounded you deeply - paying no mind to your feelings or what you were going through.
If it wasn't for physical attraction... would you really want to leave yourself open for this person to treat you the same in the future.
Be strong like it appears you have been doing - it will make him realize he's probably made more of a mistake treating you badly in the first place - and help him realize what an idiot he is.
2006-12-23 18:02:49 · answer #5 · answered by Joe Bloggs 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes there are situations where you could remain friends with an ex-boyfriend. Unfortunately, this is not one of those times.
The guy hasn't been especially good for you and I think you should consider yourself really lucky that he is not in your life now.
Count your blessings, and move on!!
2006-12-23 17:13:30 · answer #6 · answered by Gnome 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
By you holding a grude you are showing him that he won!! I mean show him that what happened doesn't bother you....Then it makes him think twice. The more you let a man know what he has done bothers you the more they stick around because they know they can keep you around just by saying I am sorry!
2006-12-23 17:10:06 · answer #7 · answered by Floridapurrfection 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
F-him! why do you want to be friends w/ someone that can't support you in a difficult time! Move on he just wants to mess w/ your mind so he can get a late night shag!
2006-12-23 17:16:44 · answer #8 · answered by traci s 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That sounds not very good to me. If you feel that its difficult to 4give him and no longer want to be friends with him then yes cut him off completely.
Good-luck xx
2006-12-23 17:10:23 · answer #9 · answered by .[Nae].♥ 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you think you'll fall for him again, don't remain friends with him. It's probably better off for you just to let him go so you can move on.
2006-12-23 17:09:24 · answer #10 · answered by shoe 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋