My mom has never tried to understand me,but my brother's word is the gospel.She's made me feel like I've been a burden to her my entire life,and yet I've done more than she will ever give me credit for.The first event of our feud was a broken promise by my husband to take me on a cruise,that lead to an idea by my aunt for my mom,her and I to go to Las Vegas.I made all the arrangement and the date was set.The day before leaving my husband had a near fatal motorcycle accident that left him in critical condition.I thought the trip would be postponed, but my mother didn't see what she could do by staying behind,so she went!Even had enough gall to ask me to pick them up at the airport on their return.I was stunned,but should have expected it.(2.) My brother made a promise that on his return from Iraq, wife, him,myself,and husband would go on a cruise. Found out my mom,aunt,bro,and wife leave in a few weeks.Wasn't even asked!Have I lost my mind to be mad as hell?They think I need help.Do I?
2006-12-23 16:31:12 · 6 answers · asked by boogians 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
It's not about going on a cruise. I could care less. It's the principle of why and how family can seem to have so much resentment. I HAVE let it go for too long. 45 years seems long enough. I think that's why now they think I have lost my mind. Its a little harder when it's your own family treating you this way.The people who claim to love you. I've devoted my whole life in trying to do good for everyone else, yet it's my family who has kicked me down the most. I am a surviver, just thought some unbiased opinions whether negative or positive wouldn't hurt.
2006-12-23 17:13:28 · update #1
No you are OK. They have by their actions disrepected you and excluded you and your husband. Sadly, there are many families with issues like this, and the ones that need help function normally in the dysfunction, where the most healthy players can not function and are wounded/devestated by the dysfunction. Sounds like you are the healthy one here, I would distance myself from them, and focus on your husband and your immediate family. Although I feel if you mom has favored your brother, I am suprised these issue have not surfaced earlier. It is the all too typical flood and drought syndrome.
2006-12-23 16:38:04 · answer #1 · answered by EM-water2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is an old saying, you can choose your friends, but God chooses your family.
I don't think you need help, I think you need to let it go. The anger is not worth it. Don't depend so much on the promises of others and depend on yourself. If you want a cruise, you and your hubby save up and go by yourselves!
Maybe you should not expect anything from your mother, that way you will not be hurt in hoping that she will do the right thing.
I think the less you expect from others, the less you will be hurt when they don't come through.
They are still family, so don't harbor the anger. Just let it go and the next time someone "promises" something, take it with a grain of salt! (is that how the saying goes???) you know what I mean!
Merry Christmas to you!
2006-12-24 00:37:06 · answer #2 · answered by LittleFreedom 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have every right to be upset at her.
Your husband didn't break his promise about the cruise.
I'm sure he didn't plan is accident so he could spoil the trip.
She has been very selfish and cruel..to both of you.
and I'd tell her HELL NO, your NOT picking them up at the airport.
Did your brother tell you why you were not invited on this next cruise??
Sounds like he just might be as selfish as your mom.
2006-12-24 00:44:40 · answer #3 · answered by iwish40 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK, it's fair enough that you feel under appreciated by your family. Your mom's attitude toward you seems quite callous.
Since you feel that their poor treatment of you is to be expected, then why do you set yourself up time & again for more hurt?
You won't need help as long as you lower your expectations of them, & don't give them the ability to affect your life so much.
The next time you want to take a trip or make other important plans, exclude your mom, & your brother. Then they won't be able to give you any reason to be mad at them.
Cheers!
2006-12-24 00:42:33 · answer #4 · answered by No More 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have a very selfish mother who only thinks the sun rises and shines on your brother.i would do things with my husband and my own family if you have kids. i would not let my mom affect me in any thing any more. i would go on vacations with my husband and if she asked to go dont let her because she would only rain on your parade.she has a serious problem with forgetting that she has two children not one.sometimes letting go doesnt mean you dont love her but it will give you peace of mind. you are such a good person i can tell and she is the one who doesnt see the gem she posesses. let her alone but show her love and go on with your life being good and true to your husband and do things with him and he will be the strength you need to be happy. pray for your mom and just let her alone. maybe one day she will see the way she hurt you and come to her senses.
2006-12-24 00:52:17 · answer #5 · answered by jbearbooboo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a lot of unrealistic expectations, jealousy and misunderstandings have taken place. Your family needs professional counselling. Please be good to yourself, and go and deal with issues you want help with.
All the best.
2006-12-24 01:04:01 · answer #6 · answered by concernedjean 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋