do u think my mom is still sad about my little sister,becca, dying when she was born. she was born 11 yrs ago, when she was born she wasn't breathing. of course i didn't even kno until my mom told me about her when i was about 8. do think my mom is still sad to this day about that. the reason i thought of this question is because i was thinking about wanting a sister but then i said i have one shes just not wit us. could my mom still be sad about this?
2006-12-23 16:06:52 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
my sisters birthday was just a couple wks ago she would have turned 11.
2006-12-23 16:41:44 · update #1
i always thought this is the reason my mom and dad got divorced. they got divorced around the time she had died. i always think it is a bad thought to think of, but its the only thing that really made sense to me why they rn't together anymore. do u think its wrong for me to think this about them getting divorced, because my sister died as the reason.
2006-12-23 16:54:13 · update #2
Parents morn for children who died before birth, at birth or when they die before the parents do. I have two brothers named Michael because one came to early and didn't live very long and my mom and dad liked the name so much. My sister lost her first child and now has 4 other children. I know that she still mourns her first child and that was more than 20 years ago.
I am sure that your mom is sad about your sister not being around and imagines what the two of you might be doing if she were alive today, but your mom is also at peace because she has a daughter that is sensitive and caring.
About your parents marriage breaking up around the time of your sister's death, it could be possible that that was one of the reasons they split. Sometimes adults don't talk about the loss, they hold everything in and then start blaming each other, even when it was no one's fault.
2006-12-23 17:11:26 · answer #1 · answered by knittinmama 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, there's a part of your mom that will always be sad about losing your sister but it's just a small part of her feelings. With that sadness, there's still a lot of room for joy and happiness.
You'll probably notice your mom being specially sad around the time of your sister's birthday. During times like that, most people think more about the people they've lost. Most of the time though, your mom is probably happy. It sounds like she has a very loving and caring daughter to make her loss easier. I'm sure that even in the times she's sad, she's also happy because you're there for her.
2006-12-24 00:36:51 · answer #2 · answered by Canadian_mom 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think your mom is still sad about the loss of your sister. That doesn't mean her sadness is all that she's feeling though; it is only one of the many emotions on her mind. I am sure she is also thankful for you and the time she gets to spend with you.
It's not wrong for you to want another sister. You can love and remember Becca and still enjoy another sibling. It's also not wrong for you to wonder about your parents' divorce. Losing a child is a traumatic experience that introduces a lot of new challenges to a relationship and perhaps it was a factor in the divorce.
2006-12-24 02:35:26 · answer #3 · answered by Lyf 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the death of a child will always be with your mother. I had a miscarriage and i sometimes still find myself thinking about it and a little sad even though i now have two beautiful children and a 3rd on the way. Your mother is probably thankful for everyday she has with you though and probably loves you more then anything, but yes she could still be sad about your sister. That must have been so hard for her and im sorry for both you and your mothers loss. You sound very sweet though, to worry about your mother. Maybe next time you think she may be thinking of it, or sad about it, try to boost her spirits by offering to go shopping with her, bake with her, or just sit and talk with her and enjoy mother daughter time. Merry christmas!
2006-12-24 00:13:12 · answer #4 · answered by misty n justin 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Of course she would be sad. Anyone who loses someone that dear to them would be very sad. The best way to let her know how you feel is by being honest with her. You want a sister, so let tell her that. If you think that would make her sad, you might be in for a pleasant surprise. Think about it.
2006-12-24 00:11:53 · answer #5 · answered by lickthisup69 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have heard that the death of a child is the hardest of deaths.
She will always be sad about losing her baby. Parents don't forget about miscarriages either. It just becomes more distant as the years go by. It does and always will hurt your mom.
2006-12-24 00:15:48 · answer #6 · answered by Tenn Gal 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure she is. i lost a baby 6 years ago and i thing of her all the time. there is nothing that will make me forget about her. so im sure your mom gets sad when she thinks of your sister.
2006-12-24 00:34:01 · answer #7 · answered by ang. 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She probably IS still a bit sad about never getting to know her child. I mean I would be. Wouldn't you? I couldn't help but think of all the 'what if's'!
2006-12-24 00:15:37 · answer #8 · answered by Sissy S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She could be. When a mother lost a child, a part of her died.
Your mom is blessed to have you; you are part of her healing. Be kind to her.
2006-12-24 00:12:29 · answer #9 · answered by childofGod 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My grandmother talked of the two children she lost at birth. She was in her 80's.
2006-12-24 00:19:49 · answer #10 · answered by lyyman 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋