I have a young son and am at a crossroads on what to do. I was raised in poverty in an emotionally abusing household and don't want the same thing for my son. I am a single parent who has the opportunity to work alot of hours and earn good money, or I can work limited hours but have more time with my son. What do you remember most about your childhood and how important was it for you? I know that either way I will come out the bad guy because if I work then he can say that I was never there for him or his activities, but if I work less hours and am there for all his stuff then I was a bad parent because we never had anything. I am very mixed because I want to give him what he wants and yet I want to provide a "people are more important than money" attitude. Any ideas? My career options are to work a normal 8 hour day ( with flexability for activities) for 30,000 a year or have a law career with a starting pay of 63,000 a year. I have job offers for both.
2006-12-23 15:30:59 · 10 answers · asked by operaphantom2003 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
In my experience, money never mattered - our family did. I grew up in a double wide with 6 kids, two dogs, a cat, two fish, and our parents. We were broke!!! I never minded though, because we always had fun. My stepmom was always there for us (she didn't work) and I think it was better having her home for all of us. Sh since has started working 40+ hrs a week and left my dad, now the three youngest kids are horrible. She has totally neglected them and their emotional needs for work. The two girls are looking for love elsewhere, and my youngest brother is getting into drugs. I would say there is time later for a career that makes you lots of money, you only get one shot to raise your kids - make it worthwhile.
2006-12-23 15:36:57 · answer #1 · answered by Stasi 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can really understand what you are going through. You want your son to have a good life, but you are missing out on some of the most important time in his life. remeber he is only little once, so if it were me I would take the less pay and be with my child. If you need help remeber there are always programs out there to help you. I hope you all have a wonderful holiday.
2006-12-23 15:36:05 · answer #2 · answered by karen v 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're obviously a pretty decent parent. Most parents I know wouldn't give their child's opinion a second thought. They'd just do what they wanted. I think it would be more wise for you to spend time with your son over working more. Love is more important than money. Make sure you let that be known.
As for me, I wish my parents spent more time with me and didn't fight so much. I'd hear them screaming their heads off at each other and it really got to me sometimes. And they'd mostly just dump me off at one of my friends' houses and not worry about anything. I really want a closer relationship with my parents, bottom line.
2006-12-23 15:42:33 · answer #3 · answered by ☆Tąrą☆ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My mother was a single mom three kids when i was growing up she worked all the time i never saw her i say if u have the chance to take the time to spend with ur son take it. if u can make enough money to stay home those extra house then thats great. if he doesnt get all the things he "wants" but everything he "needs" you are doing fine
Merry Christmas
2006-12-23 16:05:27 · answer #4 · answered by Melissa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IMHO, I say go for the higher paying job mainly for the job security, but make sure your son knows that you do this for the security of being able to provide for him, and try your best to spend much of your free time with him (but also make sure to have time to yourself too!). There are many other ways of staying connected with your son, like talking to him, really trying your best to attend his activities, never making empty promises, etc. And who knows? Maybe when you start to higher paying job you'll be able to take time off and stuff like that once you're established there. Good luck!
2006-12-23 15:39:58 · answer #5 · answered by alimagmel 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i remember being bitter about moving away from all my friends in 6th grade out to hickville use my mom used to work at night and my dad was an alcoholic but i remember my friend
if you love your kids and make sure they have good close friends things balance out just dont forget that youre the parent not the friends parents, try to find a happy medium like getting weekends off and that can by yalls time. goodluck
2006-12-23 15:34:46 · answer #6 · answered by disk_dragon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I remember my Mom not being there for me on work days/ my school days, but she always attended the events, even when they are not really that important (that's one option for you)..
And I remember getting molested and with so, my grades in school dropped, but all I got was yelling and the mark "lazy" (you should consider talking and asking your child about what's going on in their life rather than judge them at site)..
I remember getting cash, toys, and far too much attention from family members and relatives as the compensation for their absence (don't substitute genuine care for money. bad result in the end)..
Good luck, Mom!
2006-12-23 16:12:41 · answer #7 · answered by Zenithia Victora 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
stop beating yourself up. being a single parent is hard and you are doing the best for your son. i personally think that the most important thing for him is to grow up with a happy mother. so whatever you choose to do, do it because it makes you happy. if you are happy he will be happy. there is no right or wrong answer.
2006-12-23 15:36:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
DEAR GOD, HOW OLD ARE YOU. THE ONLY THING KIDS WANT AND NEED FROM US IS OUR TIME. STOP WORKING SO MUCH AND GIVE SOME TIME TO HIM! IT IS YOUR JOB TO RAISE YOUR CHILD FIRST!! IF YOU DON'T, YOU WILL SEE HIM ONE DAY ON THE EVENING NEWS. DO YOU REALLY NEED SOMEONE TO TELL YOU THAT!!!!
2006-12-23 15:43:03 · answer #9 · answered by Deb H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
listen to Melissa
2006-12-23 16:08:16 · answer #10 · answered by cooker 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋