all because he stated that I always complain about his job and that we don't do anything together so he told me to go look for somebody else since I complain so much.
2006-12-23 15:21:16 · 42 answers · asked by ALLEYCAT 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
That basically means that in all relationships there has to be understanding and compromising. Take me for instance my boyfriend just came from Iraq 2 months ago and has to go back in 6 months now I have the choice to brake up with him because he is gone most of the time or because or because maybe I can fine someone who will always be here, but the bottom line is I love him, and if he is gone for 6 months, but I get to have him for a life time then the 6 months should be nothing.
So what he is saying to you is if you can't stand this trying time then you need to go find someone else. You are human and I understand that but you have to understand that this is a "short" trying time and you are letting your man know early on that you will not make trials easy for him. You kinda have to kick him when he's down. He's out working which I am sure at some point in time benefited you. So just back a little if you want to keep your man, and chop this up as a small "time test" in you relationship. The question is are you going to rise to the challenge or nag and back out on him?
2006-12-23 15:32:33 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if someone I cared about told me to find someone else what I would say is I have..there is something about you that keeps me here and I care/love you..unless u really r looking for someone else then thats a different subject..remind him that u care about him more than the job itself altho u see more potential in him than what he is limiting himself to..sometimes people get comfortable in a certain job that goes nowhere only for the fact that it is what he knows and he feels it is where he needs to be..I..What I can recommend for u is just let him be if he is happy in his job now then concentrate on the other small things that he does right..he must have done something right for u to be with him 5 yrs..don't try to mold him or change him..when u love someone u have to accept the good and the bad that go along with the package..an analogy I can give is similar to a dependable old beat up Toyota pick-up truck..it isn't fancy or with all the latest gadgets but it has a strong engine, and a sturdy body to get u from A to point B..your neighbors the Joneses have a brand new Mercedes it is fancy, fast, has all the gadgets in the world..years go by and the fancy car is outdated and out of style it is unused and practically neglected due to being driven to carelessly and being too expensive for repairs..but the Pick up truck is still being used for practically everything from taking the kids swimming to hauling lumber to and fro with some TLC it is still has a strong engine and the body altho dented is still strong enough to keep it going..So in other words..maybe he isn't working in a fancy top job but he is working in a stable simple job that will last because he has a good engine/heart that will go far..So with some TLC your man can do the same..good luck~
2006-12-23 16:14:24 · answer #2 · answered by Charmer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's just saying that because he feels you're nagging him. It's more being sarcastic than serious. If you did leave an find someone else he'd probably be very upset about it.
It also means he's not really listening to you. That could be because of the way you bring these things to his attention or he may be a bad listener. Try analizing how you complain to him. Is it in a constructive way or are you wining, accusing, or giving an attitude? The best way is to express yourself is in a way that doesn't sound like an attack or accusation. If you sound like you're nagging him then he will shut down and not listen to you. If you communicate correctly and he still does not listen then he will have to learn how to listen better.
2006-12-23 15:28:15 · answer #3 · answered by DiRTy D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's sad that you spent 5 years with him to find out this kind of info. Hopefully he was just blowing off steam and does not feel that way. But if you really hate his job and are vocal about it all the time, he has a right to complain. When guys hear a gf nag, they think the gf is a very unhappy person. He may want what is best for you in the long run because he is going to keep his job. Best of luck to you!!
2006-12-23 15:26:43 · answer #4 · answered by whrldpz 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Come on sweetheart, if you're constantly complaining then maybe you're not happy.....ask yourself are you? He probably feels as though your constant complaining is a sign of dissatisfaction, and anyway what would you do, or how would you feel if the shoe were on the other foot. Wouldn't after awhile you get sick of him complaining about you, and you'de probably make the same suggestion as him. If this isn't something you're ready to do, sit him down and talk with him about what you two can possibly do to save the relationship. That's if he's not past the point of no return.
2006-12-23 15:24:44 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did he say it and mean it. Or did he say it because he was angry. There are two very different extremes to that kind of statement. Chances are, he was mad and just blowing off steam by acting like he didn't care about you--frustrated is probably a better term for it. Try and find the balance for the problems in your relationship...if you cant reach a happy medium, you might have to go find someone else. But I think after 5 years you can find creative ways to spend more time together.
2006-12-23 15:24:29 · answer #6 · answered by Destiny 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you complain so much that is a clear sign that you are not satisfied, and when people are not satisfied with the things that will probably never chnage that means that you need to look and find the things you will be satisfied with. I think that you should break up and find somebody more suitable for you. He obviosly feels the same way since he suggested it himself.... maybe he is not satisfied with you either...
2006-12-23 15:24:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't stay with someone that didn't want my opinion or wanted to know how I feel about something. If you have been in a relationship for 5 years and he tells you to leave...it probably means that he is going to leave you pretty soon if he hasn't already or that he isn't attracted to you anymore.
Save your dignity and pride and leave him before he boots you out and you don't understand why.
My husband has told me that men often will give a hint to what they are planning on doing before they do it. They are not very good secret keepers.
Good Luck.
2006-12-23 15:26:13 · answer #8 · answered by Sandra C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave his triflin azz he'll be begging u 2 come back. He's just saying this he doesn't want u 2 really leave but if he keeps complaining and being mean and disrespectful 2 u then leave him 4 someone who will treat u right.
2006-12-23 15:24:15 · answer #9 · answered by Risky_Bizness 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it seems like maybe he's saying he might have found someone else too. I don't want to make you upset, or even paranoid...but it's just not right that he tells you things like that. I've been married 5 years, and you really do need to do things together, that's what keeps both of you interested.
2006-12-23 15:24:18 · answer #10 · answered by Jennifer S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋