I think my gf needs professional help. She's got SOMETHING unresolved in her past. I know, don't we all. But this is big (don't know what b/c she freezes when we start to talk about it), it's not her fault (from what little I CAN gather), but it's ruining our relationship. We start to get close, she pushes me away, and the closer we seem to get, the harder she tries to push. There are tons of supporting facts. She tells me her life is a disaster. I ask her why she thinks that and I swear she has no answer. She tells me I am too good for her or I am amazing. I ask her if she thinks I would date someone who wasn't amazing too and she is speechless, a deafening silence. So, how do I propose the idea of therapy to her? I am seriously willing to go, too, by myself or with her if, for no other reason, to show her I mean it and that I don't think it means a person is weak (I think she is terrified that I think that already or will).
2006-12-23 15:03:34 · 4 answers · asked by randyken 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Sounds like you need to talk to her and see if she wants the relationship to continue, if she does then suggest the counseling and explain to her that you feel that until she gets counseling to help her to deal with this road block, your relationship is suffering.
2006-12-23 15:10:15 · answer #1 · answered by sunflower 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
tell her how much you care for her (it's great that you reassure her of that as it is). Next make sure she is aware that the problem she has with her past is serious and must be resolved in order for her to have a helthy mentality and lifestyle. Explain that the relationship cannot get stronger if she doesn't trust you enough to help her get over her past. Tell her that you can see that she's having trouble dealing with it on her own and that you are willing to do whatever SHE thinks is necessary to help her get over this issue, which may or may not include seeing a therapist. These are the things I would suggest saying to her, and that you continue to say them to her until she either admits flat out that she will not get help for the isue or that she is ready to try and work through it. It's probably going to take a lot of time for her to come around ,and it sounds like you already are, but try at all times to continue to be patient, because I suspect that you become frustrated at times. Any indication of frustration on your part may destroy the progress that you make in encouraging her to let you help her. Hope this helps.....
2006-12-23 23:18:11 · answer #2 · answered by Seasonal_Company 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
something has probably happened to her in a past relationship that was real awful and she's probably just scared of it happening again or maybe when you starte to get close,it reminds her of what had happned and scares her. you should probably get some therapy and also try to gain more trust between u and her even if you have alot of it already. hope this helps.
2006-12-23 23:18:02 · answer #3 · answered by Flame 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think she might of been raped/molested as a child, one of my friends is like this, say you want to help her work out whatever is bothering her, and are willing to do anything to help her get out of this hole. Then hug her and tell her about the place and ask her if it's ok if you arrange one meeting with them because you're worried about her and want her to be happy. She might cry or just look scared, but keep telling her it will be ok and then get her there, ask her if she would prefer one of her friends instead of you going. (No offense, but pressure is 10x worse when your bf is around and you're having a tough time, because it feels like you're failing in front of him, and no one wants to feel like that.)
2006-12-23 23:10:18 · answer #4 · answered by Katie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋