my son Jacob seems to almost not like me :o( When he interacts with his dad he gets very excited and lovable, he kisses the dog all the time and is very gentle and loving with his teddy bears n stuff. But I ask for a hug and he slaps my glasses off my face, I give him kisses and he kicks me, and finds it to be the funniest thing ever. Ive always been tender with him. His dad is the opposite hes very strict when he desciplines him. Am I being too soft?
Is it typical for a child to have a favorite parent?
2006-12-23 14:18:36 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
ok someone said puberty, NOTE:
he is 16 MONTHS OLD
2006-12-23 14:22:32 · update #1
some of your answers are quite silly, OF COURSE i discipline him, by sending him to his crib and telling him firmly "no hitting" but i refuse to spank a baby (I was abused as a child and still have a crooked nose and cigarette burns to prove it) I REFUSE to spank a baby that doesnt even know how to go potty. Thank you Lyndsy & Operaphan I appreciate your input. For the record my hubs does not condone this behavior he is very quick to correct it. Thanks again everyone....
2006-12-23 16:01:06 · update #2
Its so funny how one dude said Ive let it go to far!! MY son hasnt even been on this earth for 2 years and the bahavior only started about a month or so ago yet its gone on too long, ha - Maybe I should have specified experienced answers only!
2006-12-23 16:02:56 · update #3
my daughter who is also 16 months old has her moments where she hits and kicks me and thinks it's funny but she is also very loving at times. when it comes to her daddy though he is definitely her "favorite". every time he comes home she is so excited she screams with happiness and giggles and runs to him and only wants him to hold her. if i try to take her back from him she throws a fit and will hit at me. i know that it is just because she is with me literally 24/7 and daddy works so she doesn't get to see him as much. i think that it is typical for a child to act in this manner especially if they see one parent a lot more then the other. when her grandma comes over though both my husband and i are chopped liver lol. don't worry your child doesn't hate you. just keep on loving him and being a good parent to him. he will grow out of this and i am sure he will show that he loves you just as much as his daddy.
by the way i don't think that a 16 month old is able to understand what respect means. i discipline my daughter for hitting or kicking me but she still doesn't quite understand what she is doing is hurtful. just be consistent with him and he will learn but it takes time. i am more strict than my husband is with both of my children. i don't think you need counseling either that is just ridiculous lol.
2006-12-23 14:26:51 · answer #1 · answered by beautiful 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I have 2 boy one is a wholly terror He was not Disciplined at a young age now he is 10 and out of control. That whole notion of not spanking may be fine and dandy but you Need to establish boundaries. There needs to be at some lever a physical dominance of a child Or all other disciplines I e time out don't mean anything. If those thing don't work Refuse discipline what do you there has to be a base Or reason for them to comply Maybe fear of taking teddy or some thing. kids natural grab glasses or key. my youngest son even runs off with my cell Phone. but If he grabs my face I grab his hand and hold it where he cant move it For a few seconds minutes and I say no Your hurting daddy.
2006-12-24 01:43:16 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Coming from another parent, this is very normal. I could swear that my son hated me for months. Don't let it get to you, he is testing the waters and the limits of your relationship. Even at this age they want to know that no matter what you are going to be there. He kicks because of the reaction he got once. I made the mistake of letting my son think it was a game when he started kicking me, so everytime he did it he thought it was funny. Just a bad habit that he will out grow. Don't give up and let him see it. He will change his preferences many times before he is the ripe old age of three. You are not being too soft. Just let him know that it is not funny when he kicks you, it hurts your feelings then give him a big kiss. Find another game to replace the kicking with. Good luck.
2006-12-23 23:36:08 · answer #3 · answered by operaphantom2003 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Oh, you poor thing, you must be so upset.
I think he is just playing with you though, because he likes the reaction you give.
My 15 month all says everyones names in the house, his 3 sisters names and Dad, but when I ask him to say mum he says DADADADADA and laughs.
I always call him cheecky and tickle him, so he is doing it for a laugh not to upset me.
Perhaps looks at the way you react to the situation and then try and react differently, or try not to react at all.
I would probably just say, that's not nice and walk away.
Edit to add, remember to make a big fuss for good behaviour, they love to see what reactions they can get. If you make a bigger fuss for nice things, he is more likely to keep doing them. If you hardly react to the bad things, other than frowning and walking away, then he will be bored with it quickly and stop.
2006-12-23 22:23:09 · answer #4 · answered by gingin 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You and his father need to get together and enforce some basic rules.
No hitting, kicking or slapping mother.Period.
If he does this, have him sit in a quiet chair and no talking.One minutes for every year of age.
After that ask him to say he is sorry and tell him you love him.
If you both follow this rule 100%, he will get over this soon.
He doesn't hate you. He is playing one parent off the other.Don't let him continue.
2006-12-23 22:23:54 · answer #5 · answered by Cammie 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Discipline is a good thing. He shouldn't be hitting you even at that young age. You need to start teaching that hitting "our friends" is not nice, appropriate, etc... Start giving him consequences for hitting; short time outs are good. You CANNOT let him get away with that crap, it will only get worse. Whatever you do, do not spank him, especially if you're telling him it's not nice to hit others. Stick with it and he'll get it soon enough. Good luck.
2006-12-23 22:22:58 · answer #6 · answered by Bestie 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is strange for a 16 month old son to have a favorite parent. Sometimes later when the child is older, he might favor one or the other parent, but 16 months seems too young for that. I am wondering if you are too smothering with your hugs and kisses? Try not asking for hugs and kisses from him for awhile, and don't give him any, and see if that makes a difference. And never allow him to be physically abusive to you -- tell him "no" and give him a timeout when he hits you or kicks you. But first, I would try not to give him the opportunity to do that. Keep your distance except for doing the things you need to do, and see if that makes him want some affection from you.
2006-12-23 22:26:03 · answer #7 · answered by Anniesgran 4 · 0⤊ 3⤋
My kids get like this every once in a while. They were worse when they were younger.
IMO, he is testing his boundaries with you. It's a good thing. He feels safe with you and wants to see exactly what he can and can't do.
When he hits or kicks you, tell him firmly "hitting/kicking hurts" and leave him. It'll take a couple times, but he'll learn that is not a boundary he can go past.
2006-12-23 22:22:30 · answer #8 · answered by CCTCC 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I would scold the child when he did that. He needs to learn that it is not OK to do that. I would also question the dynamics in the family in terms of how the father treats the mother. there is some reason the child feels this is the proper way to treat the mother and it probably comes from the interactions of the parents with one another.
Let me know if I am on the right track and I will come back and check this question again soon.
2006-12-23 22:22:50 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋
A spanking and a beating are TOTALY different.
A couple of swats on the BUTT is OK.
With a firm and loving voice. tell him..You WILL NOT be mean to mommy.
He thinks its OK to slap your glasses off your face, he thinks is funny to watch your reaction.
Thing is your letting ( not on purpose) your child abuse you.
It is fantastic that your husband steps in.
But if your son don't take you serrious he's gonna keep on doing it.
2006-12-24 01:48:03 · answer #10 · answered by iwish40 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋