For instance, I am a big woman but attractive. I still get approached by men but I have no interest in most of them. They guys I did have interested rejected me because I was not their 'type' (fat).
Now I am losing weight for my soon to be career in Health Reform and b/c I am 26 and want to be fine before my high school reunion in 2 years. It also is an unnecessary obstacle in finding a good man if he thinks you might be unhealthy. I also beleive I have been descriminated against in past searches for employment. Its just unnecessary to have to suffer those due to extra weight so I have begun to shed it. Also I am told that I am a great woman, I would make a great wife & mother one day, or that I was what they were looking for but am too fat. (But I'm still me whether fat or thin).
So with all of that said, does a man have the right (and can he in fairness) ask me out when I get to my athletic size if he once rejected me (the same woman with a great personality) when I was fat?
2006-12-23 13:28:04 · 58 answers · asked by DconS 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
No because he's shallow & although looks matter they fade & what if u gain the weight back (is he going 2 leave). u need 2 find a man who loves you for who & what you are regardless of your dress size!
2006-12-23 13:49:00 · answer #1 · answered by missbronzebeauty09 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a really tough one. I am a small size but have to watch my weight through diet and exercise. I definitely look better now that I am smaller and must admit get a lot more attention than when I was bigger. Men are very visual beings and if you are or were extremely overweight that might be a deal breaker for a lot of men. For most people, sexual attraction is where things first begin. If men who previously rejected you appear to be only focused on your weight loss or your appearance, I'd be pretty reluctant to go out with them. If they are taking an extra look though and appear to be connected with you on other levels maybe give them, and yourself, a chance. The bottom line though is that you are loosing weight for yourself not for a man, so I am sure you'll be able to figure this out.
2006-12-23 13:42:36 · answer #2 · answered by kvcar2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He can do anything he wants, but you don't have to go out with him! He has no rights to you at all! I would not waste my time with such superficial males who cannot see who you are on the inside. If a man is caught up with the larger woman issue, what will happen if you gain weight again? Do not waste your time worrying about losers, there are so many good men who would love you for you that the losers are just a waste of your time! Put your head up and celebrate who you are! Keep thinking things like, I am young, I am a beautiful woman, a smart woman, a man would be lucky to have me. Don't fall into the stinking thinking bad things about yourself trap! Your confidence will start to soar if you say these things to yourself 20 times a day! Don't let anyone opinion shape what you think of yourself! You are worth more than that! Oh, and check out eharmony.com to find a male who is compatible with your personality! If a man rejects you once, move on girl! He was just not worthy enough of you! From what you described about yourself, sounds like you have so much to offer! Make sure the recipient is worthy enough to receive these gifts! Don't cast your pearls to swine! God bless you, and may you find all the happiness you deserve!
2006-12-23 13:43:54 · answer #3 · answered by Marie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course he has a right. Any single man who has any interest in a single woman has the right to ask her, as long as he's courteous and not intrusive, intimidating or can't respect a woman's right to say no.
As to your weight, that's a choice that should be yours, and yours alone, as medical research does seem to say that being overweight will have an impact on your health.
Now, as to the guys. Any guy who says he's not interested in you because you are overweight should perhaps watch that movie of a few years ago: Shallow Hal. It's a decent movie about learning how a guy learns to look past a woman's physical appearance and into the personality inside. Anyways, if a guy's not interested in you because you are overweight, he's probably not someone you'd ultimately like anyways. Better to find a guy who likes you for who you are.
2006-12-23 13:36:00 · answer #4 · answered by WillBib 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well honestly its a yes and no. See a man is attracted first by what he sees on the outside not what shes really like. For example if you saw a man lookin like a bum and then a man who looked like he was a man with money or some importance which one would you rather approach you. See the man who looks sophisticated could be a ****** murderer and the bum could be an angel in disguise. But yet and still you first have to go by what you see on the outside, cuz a person inside is hidden. Ya feel me. But then again I say no a man who wouldnt accept you bein fat shouldnt get the time of day wit you now because obviously he was only physically attracted to you not what matters which is on the inside. So basically its up to how you feel about him and if he is sincere now about bein with you for you.
2006-12-23 13:35:56 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No its not wrong just like a woman knows what she finds attractive so does a man, if a women loses weight and gets asked out it means she has become more his type, dont take it personaly you should be happy all your hard work has worked.
If you have lost weight and look good dont let that go to waste by developing a horrible bitter personality because you look good now.
A bad personality can be just as unattractive to a man no matter what you look like
2006-12-23 13:34:13 · answer #6 · answered by Brain of the Century 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girls and women need to get of this fat/skinny thing altogether. Guys don't care about the number on the scale...only if you're fit.
Everyone has prejudices. Some women won't date short guys, for instance. So it's no fair to down a guy if he's not into fat girls...because there are some guys who only date fat girls. You just need to find what's right for you. If you like a guy who doesn't like fat girls and you lose the weight, maybe you should give the guy and yourself a chance to see what happens next.
2006-12-23 13:33:07 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if you are a person who easily forgives, than it's ok. And if they really are nice underneath that picky attitude, sure! I went on a date with this guy I knew from 7th grade. He would make fun of me for being chubby like other kids would, and I still am a little chubby, but I too am attractive, so he brought me chocolates 2 years ago for Valentine's day and sincerely asked me out on a date. I went out with him, and he was the sweetest thing. I didn't date him as a boyfriend, but he is a friend now.
Krazy Libra
2006-12-23 13:32:57 · answer #8 · answered by krazy_libra_from_ac 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, he has the right to ask you out. Geez. Think about it. You're only cutting your choices off with this one.
You may not realize this, but to ask a woman out is a free choice. There's nothing you can do to stop it from happening short of a restraining order. You can say yes or no, but if you let a past rejection get in the way of actually considering whether you want to have a relationship, you're being unrealistic and also carrying too much baggage.
Truth be told, it brings into question whether you're ready for a relationship, even if you're now eligible for one.
2006-12-23 13:37:24 · answer #9 · answered by electroberry1 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
He can ask, but its up to you if you wish to say yes or no. Personally, I would accept 1 (one) date. Let him take me out and see what a great, fun, vibrant person I am. Then I would not accept any future dates from him. Then when he asked why (we had a great time...whatever whatever). I could either ask him why didn't he ask me out when I was heavier (and still the same person on the inside)..and watch him squirm, OR tell him that you found him shallow and really unworthy of another date ......Evil, I know. Good Luck
2006-12-23 13:51:46 · answer #10 · answered by Renee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋