even if they swear they love eachother?
2006-12-23 13:26:22 · 17 answers · asked by You didn't know? 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Whoa! I feel attacked :) I asked the question that way because I thought I'd get a more objective response, but I am the one getting married! I am not interested in a wedding because I don't have the money for all that stuff, and our families are spread out, and have their own financial issues so I'd have to save for two years just to be able to afford the wedding and they'd have to save for two years just to ge able to come! I could do better things with my money, and I don't really care about the ring either. But you know how it is...the wedding day is "supposed" to be this and that....My friends are always talking about how their wedding days are going to be, and since I am a single mom right now, they all talk about how they can't wait to go to my wedding. I think they will look down on me if I don't do something flashy, and they will look down on him as if he is not good enough for me if he can't afford a blinging ring, but i guess if they are real friends, like you all said...
2006-12-23 14:09:51 · update #1
Well, I live in Florida and my best friends and most of my family live in Texas. No one close to me lives here, so it's not like I could have something informal that friends and family could just show up to.
2006-12-23 14:31:27 · update #2
It's your day not your friends. Even if you don't have a traditional wedding, you could invite your friends to the courthouse with you. Your friends should not look down on you. If you wanted to, you could have a reception outside in the summer. Like a barbeque or something where everyone came and congratulated you. You could have a cake. Most ceremonies are boring anyways. You spend way too much money on just one day. If you had a wedding party after the wedding, you could still recieve gifts. That would help out with your money situation if you're worried about it. Remember, your wedding is about you, no one else. It is the wedding day that makes a marriage. Congratulations, and I hope it works out for you!
2006-12-23 14:17:48 · answer #1 · answered by Autumn 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should have included more details right away, you probably would have gotten a better response:) Your question did sound like you were the friend - and if you had been, most of their answers would be justified.
Anyway, yes, people have a lot of opinions on weddings - the truth is, you need to do what makes you happy. Are your parents close by? If not, can you afford to wait long enough to be able to bring them out? In the end, parents and immediatly family are the most important to have by your side so if you can get them there, that would be great. But - it is not required.
If you are worried about hurting people's feelings, just be honest upfront. Don't sneak off and then tell them later - let them know your intentions in advance and if some of them can afford to make their own way out, great - if not, tell them their prayers and thoughts on that day will be enough:)
Also, consider having it video taped so you can send the video to them. Some chapels in Las Vegas will actually broadcast your wedding live online so people can watch as it happens. I'm not sure if they have options like that in Florida, but it might be worth a look.
2006-12-23 15:23:32 · answer #2 · answered by Chrys 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What are you, nuts? It's not YOUR wedding or your marriage. Why would YOU be mad?
If you're pissed about not being a fantasy bridesmaid in a fantasy wedding, get over it. I didn't have a "wedding" either, and I ws never so happy not to have to stand up in a big church in a heavy, sweat-inducing dress in high heels for an hour while we wait for the candlelighting ceremony, the personally written vows, the litugical chanting, etc. etc. We didn't have rings partially be cause we both have married parents (each couple has been married a minimum of twenty five years) who have all lost their wedding rings after a few years and were too busy actually BEING married to get new ones. My wedding was exactly what I wanted and I got to hurry up and do what newlyweds do with out have to wait through a boring reception with bad, expensive food and somebody's drunk uncle trying to feel up his twelve year old neice during the bride and groom's dance. (The above wedding is a composite of ALL the weddings I went to.) Besides, the money they save gives them a chance to spend it on something that will last more than a day, like a house, or is more precious than gold, like their first child's college fund.
2006-12-23 13:41:27 · answer #3 · answered by Mrs Gibbons 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is not about the wedding part or the ring. Marriage can have that included, but everyone has a different way of doing things. Some people elope, some have this huge wedding, others have a small and others just go court house or las vegas, quick and off you go.
Who is to say you can't have it the way you want it while others can?
Do what you and your future husband is comfortable, capable and wishingly want to do.
Your friends and family should understand your money and time issue on doing all this just as they will have the same issue if you did have a big wedding.
What my fiance and I are doing is saving for over a year (2008) along with close familiy (bro, mom, his mom, two siblings and my niece/nephew with sister and bro in law that lives in mississippi for examples). They are as well saving, plus getting a travel discount to pay it off in a year before we go to Hawaii again (destinational wedding). (we just got back from doing pre planning). I would love this big expensive wedding, but sometimes things don't need to be done. Especially the more, the more stressful too! I am making mine very small, but still a lot of fun on a good budget.
Those who are not able to attend for the same reasons as you stated pretty much, we will hold a BBQ/cake and family get together. Therefore, get a little of this, get alittle of that and all his happy. Who isn't, then they will have the rest of their lives to get over it pretty much as they had two chances to attend, or not attend due to non invite (personal reasons beyond the point in this).
What you two can do is get married (how simple you want to is up to you) and invite family and friends (or make a road trip) later on when time/money permits to visit. Maybe a honeymoon to save more and make "family pit stops" on the way over.
You can do it however you want.
Your best friend might be upset as she would want to be involved as a best friend, ya know. Honestly, include her the best way you can. If they look down on you and think you are a "drag". Just let them know best friends are there to support of what you and him happily desire and let them know you are hurt by their choice to be upset.
2006-12-23 15:57:35 · answer #4 · answered by Mutchkin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I got married at the court house and spent the money a WONDERFUL honeymoon in San Diego and Hawaii. When we got back home (South Florida), we had a reception. We didn't worry about all of the hassles that go along with the ceremony, logistics, blah, blah, blah. We had a party for the people that mattered. (That entailed about 60.) Keep in mind - the wedding is about the UNION between you and your fiance. It's not about who wants to play what role at your wedding. I'll put it this way: for all of those individuals that feel you should have this or you should have that, let them know how much it costs and let's see if they will cough of up the funds.
2006-12-26 14:48:02 · answer #5 · answered by feefee2u 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well since you don't want a big wedding, what if the two of you eloped? That way it would be fun and spur of the moment for the two of you. You're friends would be so surprised by what you did that they wouldn't have a chance to get angry. Plus, you don't need a 20 carat diamond to be married. The two of you can just go to a jewelry store and just get gold bands for a couple hundred dollars. If you want to do something special, get them engraved or something.
It's going to be your day to remember. If your friends can't appreciate that, then they aren't really true to you. I would be happy for my friend so long as she was truly happy with the deal.
2006-12-27 02:47:38 · answer #6 · answered by StayJ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it is not your buisness to e mad if your best friend loves him and accepts the fact that she is not going to have a big wedding and a ring then you have a special friend and maybe they have a special bond or maybe you have a good reason not to like him. I don't know their situation. but this is not the question to ask not knowing more about this couple.
2006-12-23 13:52:20 · answer #7 · answered by BabyDolll128 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would I be mad? If she loves him, and he loves her then it's not about the wedding, the ring, or anything else. It's all about what they feel for one another, but a best friend would know that!
2006-12-23 13:37:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What should it matter to you if your "Best Friend" had a wedding or got a ring.
Your suppose to be her best friend.....trying being just that and support her a little bit.
2006-12-23 13:36:19 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I got married in City Hall without the "wedding" and the "ring" so I don't really see the problem with it unless you weren't included.
2006-12-23 13:53:48 · answer #10 · answered by Thunderman9 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋