I am still shocked by what he did, but did I overreact?

Question

My ex bf was the one who dumped me a year ago, so I was shocked when he told me that he wants to see me & "meet up". He called me, & planned the whole thing (a movie). I assumed there would be coffee afterwards since after one year I thought he wanted to really talk & catch up. He picked me up, but he never opened any doors for me, he walked ahead of me, & after the movie he just drove me home. He never walked me to my door & just said merry Christmas. He never tried to even hug me so I just shook his hand & said bye. I felt like trash after the date, he treated me bad, like s**t. He would open doors & walk me to my door when we were going out, but I thought he would be a gentlemen again cuz of all the effort he put in to set up this date, by calling & picking me up. I thought after the movie, we would have coffee and that he would say either 1) I want u back, or 2) I wanna be friends. I thought #2 is what he would say. Neither of this happened. WHY did he do that & treat me like that?

On the drive home, I finally asked him why did he wanna meet up w/ me after all this time & he said 'u know just to hang out, I wanna see u every once in awhile'. He really meant, I wanna see u every year, on my terms & I'll treat u like this. I went home & decided that I don't even wanna see him once a yr & that I had to tell him this & how he treated me bad. So I went on msn after the date & I told him exactly how he made me feel. I said "You know, I honestly did wanna see u, & I did kinda miss u, & even though u'r a nice guy, after the way u treated me today, the way u rushed it, & the way u said bye in the car, we don't even need to see each other once a year, we should pretend like today was our final goodbye." He was shocked & kept saying sorry. I finally just said bye & logged out. Am I right or did I overreact? and should I fix it? By the way, when we were dating it never went past kissing cuz he knew I wanna save sex for marriage. Did he think I changed my mind on sex?

Answer 1

You go girl....I am proud of you for not letting him walk all over you. I dont think he realized how he treated you...maybe he thought if he took the approach that he did....he wouldnt be leading you on....But still he showed no respect for you as a person_

Answer 2

There are several reason why he may have done this:
1. Someone else told him to take you out to make sure it was over and he really did not want to take you. He took you out to show the other person.
2. He was angry about something Else and preoccupied.
3. He want to show that he was still in control of the relationship. Some guys get off on having all of these girls wanting him.
4. He is just a simple cruel SOB.
5. He does not know what he wants or who he wants and does not now how to act.
6. all of the above
7. none of the above. Who know what the hell is a matter with him.

It is up to you if you ever want to talk to him again. I would not.

Answer 3

You're being silly, I mean sure, it was ungentalmen like to not open doors for you..but I don't think that is treating you like ****. Guys have hard time actually expressing how they feel, even though he didn't say he wants to be friends, but he does. It took a lot of guts to call and ask you to hang out. You guys are not going out anymore, so you expecting him to walk you to the door, and opening the door for you. You guys are just friends now..REMEMBER!

Answer 4

First off, why do you want to go out with the guy who broke up with you, broke your heart? Heck, would you let a robber steal your stuff and would you become his best-friend? Look, if you got back with him three things will happen. All the problems you had before will resurface, your old wounds will re-open, and he will leave you again, or you'll leave him. And look at all the great chances you'll miss out on meeting Mr. Right. Remember, once it's over the first time, you can't go back.

Answer 5

This happened to me once, well except for the walking ahead and rudness. An ex set up a date with me and said he wanted to be friends and then never did. My friends told me it was closure for him, however I was pissed because I had finally moved on and then had to do it all over again. I would just do the best to put it in the past and move on. If he calls you again hang up on him.

Answer 6

That is a good question. If the relationship didn't work out, chances are it won't work a second time around. So it doesn't look like he wanted to get back with you. As for his behavior, if he did see this as a friendly outgoing, he's not necessarily required to do what he usually did as your boyfriend. Maybe he wanted to see a friendly face, and not rush anything. Hope that helps ya.

Answer 7

He still wants you, but he is confused. I think he wanted to see if you still want him.
Maybe he decided to play it cool (probably his idea of not been pushy). After all, if he took you out after so long then (knowing your principals) he felt that any move might be misinterpreted. Guys can be such dorks.
Call him again.. and lay it on the line.Tell him you need to know what his true feelings and intentions are.
I mean hes been thinking about you for a whole year..................

Answer 8

It sounds to me as though he just wanted someone to spend a little time with, a buddy maybe.

You were upset because you expected one thing and got something else. That he didn't make clear his intentions to begin with make the misunderstanding completely understandable. He should be more clear and up front with you, but if you don't mind being friends with him, try forgiving him.

Answer 9

I could say because he's a jerk, but maybe you already know that. Maybe he thought that by taking you out now would rekindle something in him. Who knows what goes on in other peoples' minds?
Don't give him any more space or time in your mind. He's not worth it.

Answer 10

Well you did a great job on telling him off! Bravo!
But just think of him as another thing of the past!