A guy asked me out, and I told him "maybe, I'll think about it." So now I know what my answer is, but he hasn't even brought the topic up at all. I've seen him twice since he asked me out (we work at the same place), but he hasn't said anything about it. Am I supposed to bring it up because he's waiting for my answer or what? I've never been asked out before, so I don't know how this all works.
When it's time for us to leave work, he doesn't wait for me like he used to; he just leaves first or stays back until I leave first. Is he avoiding me? He's not totally avoiding me; we still kind of talk to one another during work, but why does he run away from me when we get off work?
I would like both guys' and girls' opinions, especially if you have experience on this sort of thing. Thanks.
2006-12-23 11:42:09 · 20 answers · asked by abc123 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Actually, my answer is neither "yes" nor "no." It's an "I want to, but my parents would not be okay with it, so I don't know how it would work..." sort of answer. I want him to know that, but he hasn't even brought it back up, so how am I going to tell him... or should I just tell him myself???
2006-12-23 11:51:58 · update #1
Most men have a fairly simple and direct thinking pattern.
You showed your lack of interest and he is giving you your space. If you like him and want him to be your friend then tell him that, and tell him that the trouble isn't with you it is with your parents.
If you want to go out with him then all you have to say is, "I made up my mind and I am interested." Then if you want to flirt with him to confirm that you are interested.
He probably is avoiding you because her either took your "maybe" to be a nice way of saying no, or because he is caring enough to let you have "your space" and freedom to make your own decision.
Frankly, the best spot for you to be in is in the "driver's seat" of the relationship. Give him clear signals of what you want to do next and he will probably want to proceed. It won't be a question of him having to start the relationship, once you say you are willing to go on then you let him do the rest and he will be happy.
Men are goal orientated and normally we are not deep thinkers. We do so when it is important, but for the usual things in life we don't put that much thought and analysis into it. Women do, so they expect it from men.
The male will be happy to control the relationship; all they need from you is a signal that they can move on to the next step. Most considerate men don't want to press themselves on a woman, unless they desire it. Since you let him make the moves he will feel in control, but you will control when the relationship moves to the next level. This makes it a safer relationship, and one that you both can be happy in.
Another little hint, since men are goal orientated, it is more important to reach the goal then to dwell on the goal. If you want your first kiss, your first time, or your first whatever to be special then you need to make it happen. If you do then you won't be disappointed and he will enjoy the special circumstances. Some men can think of doing that, but most of us don't. The special part of it to the man is the deed itself, not what else is going on.
2006-12-23 12:02:00 · answer #1 · answered by Dan S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said "maybe, i'll think about it", so now he is waiting for an answer. He made the first move by asking you out, and you just put his question off. I'm sure he hasn't changed his mind about taking you on a date, so I would start the conversation, like asking "what are you doing after work?"
2006-12-23 11:50:36 · answer #2 · answered by Sonny E 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He must be really hurt. He thinks that when you said "maybe", that you were letting him down easy. I know how he must feel. He thinks that you don't like him. He thinks that you are embarrassed to be around him. You remind me of something I did. But as you can imagine, I came out on the bottom and feel like sh**. Well I'm sure you don't want to hear it. Just give this guy a chance. If he is like me, then he must feel the way I do. Depressed, sad, unhappy, unloved, need I go on? You have to bring up the subject. He knows that you like him, so he thinks that he did his part. It's your move. Either run away, or charge in and take the chance.
2006-12-23 11:54:02 · answer #3 · answered by Ricky 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you want to go out with him. So, when it's time to get off work, or during the day, ask him if he wants to do something with you after work. If he is still interested, he will definitely go out with you. If he likes you, things will work out fine. Also, I'm sure someone from here is going to mention about dating people where you work. You kind of have to be careful dating people where you work. Sometimes, it creates a hardship on your working relationship, especially if you become his boss or he becomes your boss, etc. But, other than that, GO FOR IT!!
2006-12-23 11:51:31 · answer #4 · answered by gloria123445566 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you may have clipped his wing abit.it does'nt
make sense but a guys macho image does'nt handle
rejection too well.this does'nt mean that u dont have the right to say no.
the best way is the direct approach.tell him that u have done some thinkin and that you would'nt mind goin out with him some time if he is ok with it.
this way it's not like u are asking him out right there,but
he's free and clear to ask u out with risking being dissed.
if his reation is "yeah wattever" then it's his loss and he needs to clear the air with u.
when i was younger the fear of rejection especially being
a dude n all was a big reason i had trouble askin the girl
out.I sense rejection on his part you would be ill-advised
to not hash this out with him.good luck and God bless.
2006-12-23 11:56:47 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Didn't you learn at a young age that "maybe" means no! Our mothers teach us that by age 4.
He learned it and he's giving you what you asked for. Next time a guy asked you out, if it's a maybe, say yes. How the heck are you going to know for sure until you go out at least one time.
Maybe would keep me away from a guy.
2006-12-23 11:45:51 · answer #6 · answered by klgtym 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's getting the vibes from you that you're not into him very much. Saying, "maybe, I'll think about it" might have turned him off to you. And yeah, he's still waiting for an answer.
2006-12-23 11:50:23 · answer #7 · answered by Greg S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said "Maybe"? That is the same as a rejection. Only a pathetic guy would take a "Maybe" as a serious answer. I would say he is definetly avoiding you and I don't think he is "waiting" for your answer. As far as he is concerned you told him NO.
2006-12-23 11:49:35 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
you comprehend relatively I have not have been given any thought what possibly advise you notice i'm afraid to speak to my crush directly as much as his face yet on occasion i think of bout us relationship and kissing retaining palms he makes me loopy yet i want an illustration to enable me comprehend if he feels an analogous way or no longer however the nice and snug button is he could desire to easily ask your self you together with his answer
2016-10-05 23:06:34 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's avoiding you because he thinks you rejected him and he's a little embarrassed.
Ask him out to lunch, and talk with him
I wonder why you said 'maybe' at first and now he's not paying you any attention you want to say 'yes.'
Make sure your intentions are good, because it sounds as if he really likes you.
2006-12-23 12:01:29 · answer #10 · answered by ♥♥ Nikki ♥♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋