If i opened up my heart to you,
What would you find?
Would you find me sweet and caring?
Maybe even kind?
If i opened up my arms to you,
What would u see?
Arms waiting to hold you?
Arms to set you free?
If i let you into my life,
Would you want to stay?
Would you be with me forever?
Until my dying day?
2006-12-23 10:38:20 · 15 answers · asked by hot_mama 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
damn you need to look into publishing.
2006-12-23 10:40:12 · answer #1 · answered by masterzuaba 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't like it as a poem- it's too typical and uses typical verbage. but it happens to be typical verbage arranged in a very condusive (sp?) way so it does work. it would be much better as a song. come up with a chorus and another set of verses and i think you've got something really good.
2006-12-23 19:47:31 · answer #2 · answered by Brento! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats good . it takes great talent to create something like that. it could have an extra part added on with answers . and you could get deep on that part . you can also compare it to something and use a lot of adjectives . descriptions make everything better
2006-12-23 10:41:32 · answer #3 · answered by bassrocker416 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's great, make sure you keep writing and don't forget if you get negative feed back just look at it as a growing thing.
Peace
2006-12-23 10:41:40 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your poem is GREAT!!! This should be published. Your a good writer. Keep writing =)
2006-12-23 10:42:39 · answer #5 · answered by ♡Miszzy_327♡ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
omg ur sutch a good wrighter! I love it! get it publishe & win some seious dough
2006-12-23 10:51:26 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's beautiful. lots of honesty, and beauty in your poem.
can I use it i fI ever write that book of poems?
2006-12-23 10:42:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's beautiful. u should make a song using those words. very romantic
2006-12-23 10:41:31 · answer #8 · answered by jimbeach37 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is cute, but I think a 10 year old could think of that
2006-12-23 10:43:01 · answer #9 · answered by CrazyChic86 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats one awesome poem! Can I borrow it? LOL
2006-12-23 10:42:44 · answer #10 · answered by Jack 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
AWE! that's a really nice poem! yep i like it!
2006-12-23 10:40:20 · answer #11 · answered by Jazzy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋