I have two rules when my daughter goes to my moms house and they are shes in bed by 9 and that my mom cant bring her latest boyfreinds around when my daughter is there. She has the worst taste in men...she married a convict he beat her and everything else. Then she got involved with this alcoholic guy..who is controlling everything she does. And she keeps telling me hes' changing for her blah blah blah well my mom decided the other night to come get adrianne that she wouldnt let her bf over there but she did it anyways then she didnt bring my daughter back til 1030 she has to be at school before 7! when i confronted her about it she told me its none of my bussiness im trying to control her life yada yada and im not im really not i just dont want any weirdo guys around my daughter. She said shes' the mother and she can make the descions but im the mother of my daughter and i make those. Is it okay not to let my daughter around my mother anymore until she gets her stuff together?
2006-12-23 10:07:10 · 6 answers · asked by cutenwild1769 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
I dont want my daughter to grow up and think its "okay" to have guys running in and out of her life. I think my rules are fair she sees my daughter whenever she wants too. She chooses to see her maybe once a week because of her boyfreinds. I'm really fed up because she calls and tells my daughter shes coming to get her and never shows! I'm tired of my mom doing this shes 39 years old and when i tell her these things shes like what do you want from me im an f-ing whore....and just starts screaming at me..i usually walk away or just hang up the phone! what do i do?!
2006-12-23 10:09:16 · update #1
As you have already pointed out, you are the mother of that little girl; therefore, you make the decisions regarding her, not your mother. I do not believe you are being unreasonable in the least!
I am 39 and the mother of a 2 year old boy. No one, and I mean NO ONE, would ever influence me in my decisions as his mother, especially when it comes to his safety. If your mother has questionable judgement when it comes to the men in her life, that's OK for her but not OK when it comes to the safety of your daughter. Stand your ground, Mom!
I know this will strain the relationship you have with your mother when you tell her that she will not have the company of her granddaughter for a while. However, think of the alternative. What if one of her weirdoes hurts your daughter when your mother runs out to the store for "just a moment"? Then what? Don't leave anything to chance!
Also, what is her lifestyle teaching your daughter? I'm not passing any sort of judgement here because I don't know your mother, but if I were you, I would question what a man with a drinking problem, a man with an abuse problem and a woman who allows people like that in her life is teaching my child.
Good Luck to you!!
2006-12-23 12:16:20 · answer #1 · answered by Rene KG 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't let her take your daughter. Tell her that if she wants to see her, she can come over and visit.. this way you have control over the situation... And when she calls the house don't let her talk to your daughter on the phone... say I already told you if you wan to visit with her, you can come over.... This way she won't have a chance to lie to you child... Also your daugter is old enough I think to have a serious conversatin with... Tell her that her Grandma loves her, but sometimes she does say things that she don't mean, like coming to pick you up... and then also tell her that grandma is living a very unhealthy lifestyle, and it is not safe for her to be aroung that and that is why she can't go to grandmas house without you... Just explain everything to her, and you may have to remind her when her grandma does something to disappoint her again..... Eventually she will understand all pf it.. but she is old enough to talk to, and be honest with her... You could even tell her that the reason you 2 are having this conversation, is because she is a big girl, and you know that she will understand what you are telling her... It will make her feel good that mommy can come and talk to her about adult issues.... Your mother shoudl respect you for being a parent, and it does seem like she cares.... you should not have to put up with that.... and let your mom know that when you tell her what your decisions are.... Good Luck....
2006-12-23 19:43:00 · answer #2 · answered by Mommy of 2 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you talking to her doesn't work then I wouldn't let my child be around her anymore while I wasn't there to make sure that there is no bad influences around. If she wants to be involved in your daughter's life then make her come to your house to visit her while you are there so you know exactly what's going on while she is visiting your daughter.
2006-12-23 19:25:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't cut your mom out completely. I would allow her to visit with her at your house....but I wouldn't let your daughter go over there anymore. If you mom can't respect your rules then she doesn't deserve time with her.
2006-12-27 03:23:42 · answer #4 · answered by Jen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just tell your mother fine, after all it is her life, but she cant spend time with her grand child anymore.
she can see your daughter when your their, but she cant spend any time alone with her, and if she asks why, you tell her why, you tell her she is a bad influence.
and im sorry to say if that doesnt change her ways then she isnt a good grand parent
2006-12-23 19:39:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you should keep your daughter away from your mom or have supervised visitations. its bad to expose your daughter to that life style early on.
2006-12-27 09:18:24 · answer #6 · answered by montana_leather_thong 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋