I'm shocked by what he did?

Question

My ex bf was the one who dumped me, so I was really shocked when he told me that he wants to see me and "meet up". He called me, and planned the whole thing (a movie). I assumed there would be coffee afterwards since after one year I thought he wanted to really talk & catch up. He picked up, but he never opened any doors for me, he walked ahead of me, & after the movie he just drove me home. He never walked me to my door & just said "merry Christmas". He never tried to even hug me so I just shook his hand & said bye. I felt like trash after the date, he treated me bad, like s**t. He would open doors & walk me to my door when we were going out, but I thought he would be a gentlemen again cuz of all the effort he put in to set up this date, by calling & picking me up. I thought after the movie, we would have coffee and that he would say either 1) I want u back, or 2) I wanna be friends. I thought #2 is what he would say. Neither of this happened. WHY did he do that & treat me like that?

On the way home, I finally asked him why did he wanna meet up w/ me after all this time & he said 'u know just to hang out, I wanna see u every once in awhile'. He really meant, I wanna see u every year, on my terms & I'll treat u like this. I went home & decided that I don't even wanna see him once a yr & that I had to tell him this & how he treated me bad. So I went on msn aftre the date and I told him exactly how he made me feel. I said "You know, I honestly did wanna see u, & I did kinda miss u, & even though u'r a nice guy, after the way u treated me today, the way u rushed it, & the way u said bye in the car, we don't even need to see each other once a year, we should pretend like today was our final goodbye." He was shocked & kept saying sorry. I finally just said bye & logged out. Am I right or did I overreact? and should I fix it? By the way, when we were dating it never went past kissing cuz he knew I wanna save sex for marriage. Did he think I changed my mind on sex?

Answer 1

It would have been a good idea to find out what it was all about before you went on a date with him. Every time my ex calls I say straight up..what is this call about and what exactly do you want as I feel no great need to be friends with an ex.

I think he broke up with you because of the no sex rule (good for you, keep it up) He wanted to see you again to get you thinking bout him. It is good you told him on msn how you felt. In his mind you will always be the girl that got away. You are a mystery to him as he has not had sex with you.

No matter whom he dates in future he will always wonder and think about you. He was being an ****.

PLEASE DO NOT CONTACT HIM AGAIN. YOUR SILENCE WILL DRIVE HIM CRAZY...HE MAY VERY WELL CONTACT YOU AGAIN SOON...STICK TO YOUR GUNS PLEEEEEEEEASE.

HE WILL ALWAYS TRY TO CONTACT YOU...MYSTERY AND YOU GO HAND IN HAND...ALL I CAN SAY IS I HAVE A LOT OF RESPECT FOR YOU.

By the way I fell for that one with my ex and it really pissed me off...I felt like a fool. I had so many expectations only to be dashed. I could have strangled him..lol

Answer 2

I don"t think he meant to hurt you dear Heart. He acted gentlemanly if I can put it this way. You should not feel like trash! Of course perhaps you had too much expectations and he sensed it? You do not give any details on the reason why he dumped you; not that it is my business, but there was definitely a serious reason for that. I do not want to point out any fault to anyone because in a relationship, it takes two to "tango". Only yourself can answer to these questions. I feel there is a problem with communication here. Something that happened that created a barrier that devided your relationship. Your ex bf might be ready for dialogue but not for a more serious involvement at this time. It all depends also on the kind of relationship you two had before. He may not want to get back for the same?
Ask yourself that and you may find the answer in yourself.
Good luck and Happy Christmas

Answer 3

You didn't overreact, his behaviour was awful. Almost as though he was trying to deliberately make a point out of making you feel like "nothing".

You have enough self respect not to tolerate that and you are not there at HIS disposal.

Stick to your guns. Maybe this will make him think and realise you are a real lady and continue to hold your ground on the sex! Don't let him make you feel like trash, so you might "put out" in hopes that might make him treat you better.

Who knows what the heck he's up to and what's wrong with him. But don't put up with this. You're a fool if you allow him to call the shots and decide when he feels like seeing you once in while, only to treat you like nothing.

Let him go and if he gets in touch with you again, let him know you expect to be treated properly and if you get the same offhand treatment or intermittant "visits", he can go elsewhere.

Answer 4

For the life of me I can never figure out guys. They can act so nice and so mean. I honestly don't know what the point of asking you out was for him. At least you know your lesson, next time say no. Like you I learned this the hard way... dump me once and I will not come back to you. I know that when guys grow up they feel bad about the way they had treated girls, maybe he will later in life too.

Answer 5

listen,
don,t be shocked and don´t even waist your time to think you can get back with him
I know it´s easier to understand what he did, it will help you to be ok again
he´s an idiot, all very self confident prick, trying to make himself better by meeting you and making sure that you still have feelings for him
that is what he wants to know
why????
maybe he had some love disaster, maybe he´s not getting well in his life
that´s why knowing you are still able to meet him makes this mutherfucker feel good
please, forget about him
there´s many others
better ones
who will now how to treat you
and don´t fell like a ****, he´s a **** if he treats anyone that way, not only his previous girlfriend
all the best
keep the head up girl

Answer 6

OMG, I can't believe him, but, this happened to my best friend two months ago. Her ex bf just wanted a booty call after the date. The reason he is doing this is because he's alone and thought that by taking you out but yet not doing the things he used to, he could still appear to be single and yet maybe have something with you that night. You are better off without him.

Answer 7

I think he wanted to meet up to sort out his feelings for you,he has probably thought about you alot over the last year(otherwise he wouldn't have been in touch)and guys do things like that when they are not sure how deep their feelings run,its like testing how they feel back in your company,It might also be he really valued you on a friendship level and misses that.

Answer 8

Once he saw you and was with you some feelings probably came back and he remembered why he stopped wanting to be with you in the first place. Not saying your repusive or anything. He may have feelings for you still but may have expected for something to change but it did not. No more dates with this guy OKAY?! You need to leave him alone for he makes you feel bad.

Answer 9

Were you right for doing what you did? Yes you were. As for the why he treated you like that? There is no answer to that. Rest in the fact that you know that you deserve better and now you go out there and you get it. More power to you!

Answer 10

He treated you the way he probably treats most of his friends. You had expectations that you shouldn't have and were let down very, very hard.
I don't think he wants you back and it appears he already considers you a friend. He was rude, but that's a different issue.