why does she make comments about my parenting skills?

Question

my little boy is a late talker which has led to some behavourial problems.he's under a speech therapist, a pediatrician and is in one of the best private nurserys in my area. i love him to pieces and wouldnt have him any other way.he makes me laugh and i love being his mum. but there are certain situations i avoid like shopping with my boy cos he hates it and when he has a tantrum he punches kicks scream pulls my hair pinches . but my mates just had a baby and when i went to see her the other night she asked if my son had been xmas shopping with me, i said no. she replyed,' do you take him anywhere?' but she always makes sly comments like i might not take him to this christening cos he wont sit still etc but she thinks im being mean. i take my son everywhere but wont put him in a situation that gets him stressed. ive tryed to explain but shes an idiot and doesnt listen. ive decidied not to bother with her anymore for fear of punching her. my son is 3.am i right or wrong?

silverbirch get a life u @rse

sarahsmama:you've got confused

whosaidthat?:thankyou for understanding and letting me know im not alone

Answer 1

my daughter just turned 3 and has been in speech for 18 months now. we are starting the DD Preschool at the end of january. so i know exactly how you feel. we had a horrible time when she was younger and she wanted stuff. she would get really upset because we couldn't understand her. there were some neighbors who's kids were the same age and they would make comments about it, like we didn't punish her most of the time when she threw a fit, because it was out of frustration. so people thought we were spoiling her. my father in law made a comment once and i went off on him. and now he understands. i know exactly how you feel, and i would not be around this woman anymore. she is rude and has no idea what she is talking about. keeping your son happy is what matters right now, and there is plenty of time later, when he starts talking more, to take him shopping.

Answer 2

It's envy! Hehe. Fact is, it isn't easy accepting that your child has a problem that easily for some people. Your friend is probably jealous that, despite your lovely son's difficulties, you love him and care for him no matter what. Would she love her baby the same if he/she had the same difficulties? I think you're a great parent and are doing the right thing. Don't let things like this upset you so much. You should be confident that you're doing a great job as a mother and a friend to your son.

Trust me that it has nothing to do with whether you're doing something wrong or not. I began talking before I was even a year old and before a lot of babies did. By the time I was two I could speak both English and Spanish in complete sentences, but I took forever in learning how to walk because I was apparently afraid of falling(I've been a klutz my entire life). Everyone criticized her like crazy for it and said that she was spoiling me and yada yada. Since I could speak so clearly and actually ask for what I wanted instead of running around for it, it only made people think I was making my mother a slave. Well, I walk just fine today and I'm not a spoiled brat like they used to say. Hehe, so be happy. You're little boy will be alright. =D

Answer 3

You sound like a lovely mum. Not wanting to put your son in a stressful situation is perfectly reasonable. Im sure that your friend will understand once her newborn is older, my son is 3 in may, Ive learnt so much in the past 2 and a half years and many opinions i had before becoming a parent have changed completely. I understand alot more now and she will too. A friend of a friend recently gave birth. She has already apologised for a few things she just didnt get before she had her own child. She'll learn. In the mean time keep doing what your doing. Enjoy your little man, they grow so fast dont they!! Have a wonderful christmas together xx

Answer 4

You are definately right!! Your son's happiness and security of obviously your main concern, and if those around you don't even try to understand the situation, then you are better off without them around him! Its amazing how many people out there think that they are perfect and that their kids are perfect! There is no such thing!! Guaranteed, your friends child will also reach the age of 2/3, and tantrums are a thing she IS going to encounter! Avoiding situations that stress your son is good, I did that with my son ... I found that unknown people and crowds triggered him off! Good luck and stick by your feelings!

Answer 5

the main idiotic remark i've got won in my opinion replaced right into a woman who made a rude remark to me approximately controlling my son's habit. i attempted to describe to the lady that my son replaced into autistic, and has subject processing auditory counsel. She then replied "he's not autistic, my nephew is autistic, i understand autistic, and your son isn't autistic, he's obnoxious!!" Oh ok, i'm so happy all of the docs that evaluated my son have been incorrect and he's cured. A**hollow. in this communicate board, my 2 puppy peeves comments are people who say spanking supplies sexual fetishes, and individuals that say mothers and fathers that choose for to apply harnesses/"leashes" on their toddlers are lazy and treating their toddler like an animal.

Answer 6

you are completely in the right, what makes you think you need a so called friend like this at your little chaps expense? you are a happy mother to him, all kids have their quirks, some harder to deal with than others but generally they all grow out of them, my old gran used to say-they're all the same when they go to school, meaning they all grow and mature at different rates but level out at some point. lets hope your friends baby grows up to be the perfect cherub she is expecting, because when she looks around for a friends advice, you'll be off somewhere nice enjoying your little lads company!!!!! good luck to you

Answer 7

For one the fact that he is your child gives you the right to take him where ever you want w/o being questioned, by anyone, let alone a supposed friend. And I agree w/ you, that you should only take him places he won't be as stressed, b/c it's for his own well-being. She makes it sound like you pen him up, like an animal. I wouldn't hang out w/ someone that thinks that lowly of me either.

Answer 8

You know your son the best and what he can handle. She will understand when her child gets older. Sometimes it's easier to just leave your child home. I know there are situations where my kids and I would enjoy ourselves more if they stay home. It can be very stressful wondering if they will behave the way you want them to. Stick to your gut feeling, and ignore her. Give her four years, she will understand then where you were coming from.

Answer 9

well she should mind her own buisness. You have to learn to be assertive without losing your cool. Try to be even tempered when around your son, children do copy our behaviour. children do have tantrums as well, its embrassing i know. my grandson goes mad sometimes. try to remain calm but firm read a good chilcare book. Get as much knowlege as you can. We all need knowlege. You are doing a good job, dont, let this person bover you. You do not need to explain yourself to her, she is no expert, some people are critical of others to elevate themselves. you did the best thing ignoring her she is not worth it, and probably doing it to someone else now.

Answer 10

There is no reason to end your friendship with this other mother. Simply tell her that ALL children are individuals and not "cookie cutter" children and all should be raised accordingly. Say to her that she may expect HER child to be a carbon copy of someone else's child and that HER parenting skills simply mirror those of others but you prefer the individual approach of treating YOUR child according to his behavior.