We have been together for nearly 5 years, unmarried, no kids, we're 24, and were virgins when we met.
He recently cheated on me in a one night stand and confessed all by himself three weeks later-there was no way I'd have known or found out otherwise.I told him I would forgive and forget until I found out that he had her number and she slept over in his apartment twice (he said nothing happened either time tho).When I caught him lying about calling her and getting texts from her I dumped him by text.
When we met up 2 or 3 days after that he wanted to get back together but I asked if he was curious about other people and he said yes so I said we should take a break and see other people over Xmas.
He slept with someone else this thursday, and he said it was awkward and boring,he says loves me and can't wait to see me in the new year.
Any advice?
Is this something he can just get out of his system?
2006-12-23 09:47:43 · 39 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It's time to say good-bye. Rock out on some Alanis Morsette and Sherly Crow to help you move on from his sorry ***. It's not fair, its not going to be understood.. it just all around sucks- BUT, you still have a great future ahead of you. Take the memories and lessons learned on with you to the next chapter of your life. Good luck!!
2006-12-23 09:54:55 · answer #1 · answered by littledreamergirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Damaged goods, baby. He's been out there and had a look around and finds he still wants you. This is understandable in a way as you say you wre both virgins when you met. However, you would think wouldn't you, that once he had admitted to the first affair, he wouldn't be so stupid as to continue it and sleeping with someone else (and no doubt telling you about it again!) makes him begin to look a little foolish.
He isn't the man you thought you knew. He has reverted back to his youth (perhaps the youth he feels he has lost) and if I were you I would let him get on with it. He may grow up in a while - but by then either or both of you may have lost interest so do not leave the door open for him to come back. Shut it firmly and move on,. If he has grown in any way through all of this, he will fight for you. Let him. You have a good Christmas!
2006-12-23 10:04:48 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
this means you met when you were 19 which is fairly young, the fact you were both virgins means you did all your exploring and growing up together, which is lovely but can you seriously say you never wondered what it would be like with someone else, ifs its all the same or if its different. the fact you b/f took this a step further behind your back is worth consideration, however only you can decide what to do next. do what feels right, accept he needed to explore or take advantage of the situation yourself. let it run and follow the course, after all after 5 years if its ment to be it will be, if not then not. good luck.
2006-12-23 10:38:59 · answer #3 · answered by cookie 85 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A marriage/relationship is based on trust.. If you can't trust him you will have a lifetime of worry. Paul McCartney's first fiancee (Jane Asher) dumped him after she caught him out. She didn't have to worry about him any more after that. Jerry Hall had similar problems with Mick Jagger before eventually seeing the light. Has your boyfriend got Paul or Mick's money or talent?
Dump the sod and let him suffer. There are plenty more fish in the sea.
2006-12-23 10:24:55 · answer #4 · answered by Mr Politeness 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't have it both ways. You can't have sex with him before marrige, then expect him to respect you or have any real committment to you. The real test for anybody is abstinance before marriage and if they are forced to abstain and get to know eachother without the sex (which so often blinds people) they are FAR stronger and have a foundation set already.
Many people's relationships are held together by sex and if anything happens to the partner that causes the sex to suffer, or they get bored of it, very often it falls apart because they have not much else to work with.
Build a foundation first, the sex is the icing on the cake. It's up to you and him really. Certainly, don't expect any change out of him, unless he makes a proper committment. It's not about getting it out of his system, he is setting himself up for a lifetime of habitual cheating. In actual fact, he's getting INTO his system.
2006-12-23 10:09:14 · answer #5 · answered by Gus 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If they do it once... trust me... they do it all the time!
I forgave time and again... utter waste of time... he still ran off with another in the end after 23 years of marriage.
Get shot of this guy like yesterday, you really do deserve much better... get dressed to kill, go out with your friends, and find a newer model, then flaunt your new beau at every opportunity you get, right under his treacherous nose, for at least the first few months. And be sure you're smiling and laughing into the eyes of this new guy and pretend you don't even know your ex is there.
It's what I wish I'd done... but for me it's far too late!
Don't do as I did... do as I tell you NOW:-)
mum
2006-12-23 09:55:59 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
sorry to hear about ur situation. u deserve better after commiting urself in a relationship for 5 years. my advice do the hard thing walk away. be strong and dont look back... this guy doesnt deserve ur love the way hes treating u. i hope u can move on ok and that ur heart doesnt break along the way...
2006-12-23 10:37:39 · answer #7 · answered by Jelly 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, this is something that he has to get out of his system and no it is not a good thing. I knew this couple who was engaged, had two kids to boot, he kept wanting to get it out of his system, too. He met someone else and broke the engagement; just be lucky you are not engaged and you just found out about those things.
The best I can tell you is to find someone more suitable, you are holding up your end of the deal and he isn't.
2006-12-23 09:55:41 · answer #8 · answered by Laela (Layla) 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get out of his system!
You kiddin'?
He wants the best of both worlds. Loving girlfriend/wife at home, while he's galavantin' all over the place. With God knows who, carrying God knows what diseases! And also, the possibility of him getting one pregnant, and then see how second best you will become then.
Get rid! Straightaway, he will not change.
Get a decent sort. One that will love you, unconditionally.
Sorry. I'm taken. But have fun.
2006-12-23 09:52:49 · answer #9 · answered by Moorglademover 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
men on the whole want/will sleep with as many woman as we can one woman for life would never be enough and if woman are honest curiosity would get the better of you too.the question is can you forgive and the answer is no, you could try but i have yet to meet a person who can truly forgive forget and move on.put this one down to experience and move on. if its any consolation in the not to distant future he will probably regret his treatment of you and wish he had behaved differently.
2006-12-23 11:51:08 · answer #10 · answered by taznut 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋