HAVE YOU EVER SECRETLY DATED SOMEONE OUTSIDE YOUR RACE and why was it kept a secret ?

Question

Why did you keep it a secret? Did you love this person but feared society would not accept the relationship? Do you regret breaking up? Or was it just fine with you as a secret and fun while it lasted? Looking back now if you found yourself in the same situation would you go public about dating some one outside your Race?

Answer 1

twice actually I'm white and both women were black
both times the women's parents didn't want them dating outside of their race

we had a great time in public and everywhere else for that matter ;-)
but then it came time to meet the parents, it was awful
and yes i regret breaking up, i would have married either one of them,
and on the flip side my dad is a total racist but it didn't matter one bit to me what he thought

Answer 2

The only thing remotely similar to what you're asking is that i dated a boy who is Jewish for about a year and a half and I never told my dad's side of the family (crazy catholics and christians) ...about the relationship. My parents are divorced, so it wasn't hard to keep it a secret.

It wasn't about society or anything of that nature, I just wasn't having a good relationship with my dad at the time and he wouldn't have cared for the idea of me dating someone that was Jewish. He isn't anti-semitic by any means, just somewhat close minded.

We broke up, but it wasn't messy or any different from any other break ups.

Interesting question!!!

Answer 3

When I was 12 I got my first pair of glasses. They were bifocals. Blah!! Now instead of 4 eyes, the other kids called my six eyes. Hard to deal with at such a young age. The tallest person in my class was a black girl. I am white. She stood up to the bullies for me. She was a great friend. One day we were sitting together on the play ground and I gave her a kiss (no tongue). 8~) She said,"What was that for?" I said,"Just for being my friend." Although I have never actually dated outside my race, I have told this story many times. Even at a young age I knew I had a great friend. Not a black friend or a white friend, just a friend. And I was lucky to have her as a friend. My advice to those that would date outside their race would be - Don't date anyone that's out of your race if you feel you have to hide it. It's not fair to you or the person you date. If race matters that much then just don't put yourself or the one you want to be with in such an awkward position.

Answer 4

I’ve not, but I’ve been the one that was a secret.

I had an Italian girlfriend (I live in Australia) and her family only wanted her to date and marry an Italian boy. We met at a nightclub, when he chaperon (read minder) was busy. We hit it off and started up a torrid phone relationship that lasted for a few months. We also meet every second weekend at nightclubs and had to take the opportunity to snog and fumble (kiss and grope to you yanks).

Finally I wanted to make it an open relationship, so I went to her house on a prearranged date, only to be told by her mother that she wasn't home and had flown to Melbourne that afternoon (we'd spoken on the phone that morning and there was no mention of her going anywhere). So it was obvious her family didn't want her to date a skippy (Aussie boys are called skippies after the kangaroo by Italians).

It was good fun while it lasted, but I was upset as I really cared for her. Also being hit with such racism really annoyed me. Anyway her family found out we’d been seeing each other and she wasn’t allowed out for ages after that, only to go to work and church.

For me I moved on and dated a Thai girl from the local restaurant, whose family made me feel much more welcomed.

Answer 5

I once dated a chipmunk and we agreed to keep quiet about it because the chipmunk wanted to. All that secrecy and clak and dagger stuff wasn't for me so it ended quite quickly.

Looking back, I think I should have brought it out into the open but what can you do when someone you love is so adamant about something?

Answer 6

I was best friends with a black guy but I knew my parents would kill me if it went any further so it didn't. I don't regret it b/c I would not have been able to deal with how society would look at me and the way I was raised, I believe that's it's not right to mix races.

Answer 7

I don't think the race would be an issue. But I was dating secretly with one because both of us don't want to have for long time. we both looked only for sex. still some time we both have that but neither my GF nor her BF knows we are doing this

Answer 8

I didn't know I was but, I was dating a Black girl and always picked her up in front of her house, I went to drop off a present and the people there didn't know who she was, it turned out her parents didn't want her dating White men, so she hide it from her parents, it was weird.

Answer 9

im european,i live in a small city.once,i met a wonderfull nigerian guy,he was studying here.so,we start dating just the people start to talk... dont underst wrong,just back then i was to scared to do smth about it !so,it was the right guy in the wrong time,place...i wish i can turn back time,now the situation is different, all the communist can kiss my ***!

Answer 10

yes... but it actually wasn't a secret. it just didn't last very long, because her and her entire family had to move across country just days into the relationship.