how am i supposed to tell him to do it and he wont do it?? today i asked him this morning to take out the trash and he did nt do it. then i asked him to do it again in the afternnoon and he still didnt do it, so i asked him for the 3rd time and he still didint do it again. and then i kept asking him and he said that hell do it in a minute . uuuuggghhh its getting to be nervewraking!! i cant get him to do anything when it needs to be done . and everytime i ask him to do something he says hell do it in a minute and it turns into later!!! how can i change this?? what do i do??
2006-12-23 09:25:01 · 15 answers · asked by chika_cherry_cola007 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Break up with him. That'll change things right quick. My general thought is that if you're trying to 'fix' someone they're not right for you.
2006-12-23 09:26:50 · answer #1 · answered by anecdoteman1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't 'break' him of his bad habits. This habit is bad because you don't like it. These are things that we as people have to decide to either deal with or not. It is not written in this life where it is a man's job/obligation to take out the trash no more than it is a woman's job/obligation to do the laundry. The more you can do together, the better. I don't know your situation, but trying to change someone is not going to work. The more you push, the more they will push back. Try to spark a compromising idea like alternating turns to take out the trash. Don't forget to do the same with other chores that you do more than he does to keep the load somewhat balanced. If compromise doesn't work, then you either are going to have to choose to deal with it or get a new man with better habits (this may not be the total solution either, but it's a start).
2006-12-23 17:51:13 · answer #2 · answered by A Good Man 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, first off, when you ask him to do something put a time on it, otherwise men interpret it as "when you get to it" esp. something like taking out the trash, men will think it just needs to go out before pick-up. Secondly, like many couples, you are arguing 2 separate arguments: you are arguing "If you love me you will take care of this for me demonstrating your love for me" this is why something so small bothers you so much, he is arguing that he is honest, he said he would do it and eventually he will, your questioning of him will be interpreted as calling him a lair. Therefore you are arguing if he love you then he will do it, and he is arguing that if you trust him and believe he is honest you won't ask him about it. The solution is to say that you love and trust him but you need him to do this for you right away.
2006-12-23 17:32:23 · answer #3 · answered by miknave 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't change him. You can sit him down and talk to him. Tell him that these things are deal breakers. Be prepared for him to get defensive though and you cant take that personally. And whatever you tell him, you must stick to. If you tell him you are going to leave if he does not do something and then you dont, he will never respect you again. Ultimatly, either accept him for who he is or get out of the relationship.
2006-12-23 17:29:40 · answer #4 · answered by senmonwabio 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well when he asks you to do something act the same way to see how he likes it. Maybe he needs to see how you feel and rather than having to keep telling him (which he isn't responding to anyway) make him actually know what you are going through. What would happen if you didn't ask and it just sat there? Would you take it out? If so, then don't and wait to see if he does on his own. I know sometimes guys think women nag them - even when they aren't paying attention.
2006-12-23 17:29:03 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
it's all about the Praise. when you say "why haven't you done this yet?!!** " he hears..."i messed up" wait, and let him do it in his own time, even if it takes a day or so...eventually he will. (i'm sure he won't let piles of stinky trash build up!) and then you come in and say, "wow, good job, honey. thanks, that really helped out a lot" and he hears "i did something right!" sounds cheesy, i know..but it helps. anyone prefers praise over scorn regardless of circumstances, so set up situations where you can offer that. good luck!~ :) :) try it!~~ :)
2006-12-23 17:33:39 · answer #6 · answered by pursuit_of_happyness 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get rid of the slug. you can't change someone and these little things that drive you crazy now will only escalate in the future. you can take out your own trash till you find a good decent man that you don't have to ask anyway.
2006-12-23 17:30:09 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Have a serious talk to him, tell him that you need him to cooperate, that you can´t do everything and that you are not going to do everthing. If he really loves you he´ll understand and will help you more with the house chores, if he doesn´t change you will have to think if it´s worth living with him for the rest of your life. Good luck!
2006-12-23 17:38:55 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
You could always try bribing or threatening. bribing as in a kiss or somethin' like that, threatening just be anti-social with him, guys( i am one btw) don't like to feel useless, so if u do everything 4 a while it might do something.
Hope it helps
Merry christmas
2006-12-23 17:29:30 · answer #9 · answered by Corinthius99 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
instead of asking him to take out the trash, just put it in his lap. it may cause a bit of a quarrel, but he'll quickly get the point.
2006-12-23 17:27:45 · answer #10 · answered by wrldzgr8stdad 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋