2006-12-23 08:58:18 · 11 answers · asked by Dee D 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Basically I have been in this situation before and I believe it has worked out beautifully. I just put my kids first and foremost. When I started seeing other people I told them from the beginning the kids were the most important in my life. Decent people will appreciate that. Now for your ex, deal with them like you would any other business transaction. If you are paying child support....get a receipt. Follow the visitation to the letter of the custody agreement and if the ex wants to deviate from it don't let them unless it is to the benefit of the children. Do be very careful with that if they call up saying "Could you do me a favor" be on your guard. If you have custody remember you are in charge don't let them play on your emotions or put you on a guilt trip.
2006-12-23 09:12:51 · answer #1 · answered by Monte T 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be patient and take it one day at a time. Stay away from activities which will make matters worse... (ie drugs, drinking, partying) don't be in a hurry to find someone else and keep your kids a priority... guaranteed a couple months and you will have new routines that will seem totally normal and you will be content and healed. Remember to avoid places, things, that will remind you of your past with your ex. Try to stay busy... too busy to think about those times in your life. Good luck.
2006-12-23 09:07:42 · answer #2 · answered by okchico 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just do it, dear.
I'm glad you take it seriously, but really, you'll be OK. Don't stress yourself out. You've made it this far...you'll go the distance.
Do what you do. You don't have to make every day a trip to Disneyland. Make sure your kids know you're there for them, talk a lot, hang out. Everything will work out fine. Take it a day at a time.
2006-12-23 09:14:14 · answer #3 · answered by KD 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Exactly, just one day at a time. Your focus now is on the kids and you'll find, alot of times, that when you put them on the top of your priority list, you'll won't dwell so much on the hurt from the divorce. Not that you won't ever think about it, but it won't consume you. I hope that made sense. Good Luck and Merry Christmas!!
2006-12-23 09:04:41 · answer #4 · answered by chickmomma5 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One day at a time. If you're asking this question then it hasn't been enough time. Take your kids to places and events with other parents. You'll be amazed how many divorced parents there are. You can meet someone that you can relate to and have some support.
2006-12-23 09:00:11 · answer #5 · answered by Jilli Bean 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
focus on kids take it from one. Well my parents aren't divorced but i people whose parents are. it's constantly they go here they go there. Let them be kids let them have fun. Too much fun and they'll be crazy and out of control. So then this'll make you think you should be strict noooooooo then when your gone they'll be even more wild be inbetween. As for moving forward take little steps at a time day by day. Let it out. get on with life.
2006-12-23 09:08:32 · answer #6 · answered by edyyrules 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just like beth said...one day at a time.
always remember that your kids are affected by this as well. it's hard as adults and human beings to remember that there are others, like our children, who are involved and are just as affected if not more so.
keep a cool head and spend as much time with your children as you possibly can without over-stressing yourself. never speak ill of your ex-spouse in front of the children as it will look bad on you too. (my ex did this all the time whereas I never did and the consequences speak for themself) try to keep as civilized a relationship as you can with the ex, and never use the kids as messengers, e.g. "tell your mom..." And if she does it, pick up the phone and say calmly "you had a message for me?" and relay your answer to her directly.
keep your head up! it really does get better
2006-12-23 09:11:47 · answer #7 · answered by ´¯0())))»·.¸¸.·´´¯`··._.· 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think people really every do. They just have second lives where they spend most of their time, and go back to the lives their kids and other spouse live in.
Atleast thats my point of view, sicne most of my friends are from split homes and thats how it seemed to be for all of them.
2006-12-23 09:10:04 · answer #8 · answered by amosunknown 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, when you are finished holding your ankles and are comfortable with your payment plan, then get back on the horse. You will be fine. It's not like you are the first to go through this.
2006-12-23 09:07:24 · answer #9 · answered by Daniel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to pray and simply have faith that everything will be okay. It will and God Blessed!!
2006-12-23 13:16:33 · answer #10 · answered by Blu 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋