my boyfriend was tellin me the other day he like his women dark so he suggest i do a tan and i told him no and he said he will throw some gasoline on me and strike a match i guess to get me dark i didnt know what ti say i couldnt believe that came out his mouth and suppose to be my fiance
2006-12-23 08:55:27 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
he said it in a joking manner but when someone says that i think you should take it seriously dont ya?
2006-12-23 08:59:16 · update #1
YEAH BUT WHAT IS WORRYING ME IS WHAT HE SAID WOULD I BE SAFE AROUND THIS GUY
2006-12-23 09:01:25 · update #2
Sorry that is not something to joke around about...if he is not happy with the way you look and who you are then maybe he should be with someone else_
2006-12-23 08:57:56 · answer #1 · answered by Chickybabe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that sounds like something only a very young or immature person would say. i do hope he is either or both of these.
you're right to stand your ground and not get a tan just because he asks you to. after all skin cancer is the largest killer in my country (oz), so cover up and avoid too much sun.
i'd be seriously thinking about what sort of person he is and if you really want to marry him. if he thinks his comments are funny then he needs to wake up to himself, but if he's even slightly serious you're in for some massive problems. best to talk with him and find our how he really feels and gauge how you feel about him.
be careful now.
2006-12-23 17:02:43 · answer #2 · answered by pugsbaby 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should tell him how you felt.
When you told me you would throw some gasoline on me and strike a match it made me feel ugly. I felt unsafe, like you were willing to hurt me to change me into what you wanted. I felt betrayed, because I would never knowingly hurt you, and you would even speak that you would hurt me. For me, in my heart, to be beautiful to you is as important it is for you to be strong. How would you feel if I said that you arent docile and affectionate enough, so I should cut your testes off in your sleep to make you more gentle? That would be a terrible thing to say. I felt like you said the equivalent of that. I feel like my beauty was attacked, my relationship with you was less important to you than my skin color, and that you thought of me as a piece of meat and not a human being. Thats how I felt.
He may react with disbelief, but if you are consistent in your communication, and actions he will accept it. You need him to respect you now, because after the wedding what he does a little .. it will grow. If he will slap your face now.. he will punch it later. If he loves you too much to physically abuse you now, he will not physically abuse you later.
Its better to call off the wedding, than need to worry about your funeral.
2006-12-23 17:04:09 · answer #3 · answered by Curly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Run away. Far away.
Does he tell you how to dress? what shoes to wear? What to eat? When to sleep?
In the Webster's dictionary under "Control Freak" does it have his photo?
IF he's even joking about harming you to get you to comply with his desires of how you look, he's got serious issues to deal with. and you need to be away from all that for your health and safety.
2006-12-23 17:02:57 · answer #4 · answered by George Curious 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Omg.. that means he just likes you cause of your looks! No one who is about to marry you and spend the rest of your life with isnt going to say that! tell him if he would even think about doing that,, that you should leave him!
2006-12-23 16:58:11 · answer #5 · answered by ♦Its•Possible•But•Not•Logical♦ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really shouldn't joke about that stuff, but if something worse happens you do need to let him go.
2006-12-23 17:03:57 · answer #6 · answered by ♥ɕɦɘȴƨ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly get out. He either accepts you for who you are or doesn't get you.You are the way you are for a reason and don't change it for anyone.
2006-12-23 16:59:34 · answer #7 · answered by Marina 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say...Don't marry him until you get to know his dark side a little better.
2006-12-23 16:59:14 · answer #8 · answered by Lady N 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dump this guy if hes gonna be your fiance he needs to love you for who you are
2006-12-23 17:00:03 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
find a new men your better than him
2006-12-23 17:02:15 · answer #10 · answered by chris t 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋