I work at a daycare and many of the children are there from at least 7am to 6pm (right at closing). It upsets me when moms and dads come to pick up their kids after they have done all their shoppings/errands/stopped home/relaxed etc. A majority of the children are in daycare over 55 hours (M-F) only to go home, eat dinner, and go to bed by 8. It happens more than one would think. Do parents experience any guilt by doing this? Or is it just "easier" to do those things without the chidren.
2006-12-23 08:37:21 · 13 answers · asked by Lizzy 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I am not, by any means, assumming that it is easy to have children/raise them. I am aware that there are financial issues out there that create circumstances. The closest I have been to parenting is teaching, nannying full time (towing kids EVERYWHERE- grocery store, swimming pool, movie theatre, library, shopping mall, museum, etc.), babysitting, etc.
The reason for the question is NOT to suggest that parents who do this are idiots and indulge in various pleasures instead of caring for their children. I am asking (for those who keep/have to keep their children in daycare: Is there guilt or is it just the way it is/has to be so you get over it and live life?
2006-12-24 01:36:49 · update #1
What about the single mom who is too embarrassed to say that her husband left her? She has to work 2 jobs so that hr kids can have clothes to wear, pay bills, and buy them food. What about the mom whose husband died while he was in Iraq, leaving her with three small children? No one ever seems to think about what the case could be with these children. My kids stay with their grandma while I work. I work so we could buy ONE car. Hell yea I run my errands before I pick up my kids. It's easier and less chance of them getting sick. If I picked them up right away, I would have to put two children in their carseats, drive to pay my water bill, take them out of their seats, pay the bill, then put them back in their seats, then come home. Doesn't it sound easier to just pay my bills, pick them up, and then go home? It is easier. Plus if it's raining or snowing, having them in and out so much would get them sick. I don't want to risk that.
2006-12-23 08:46:06 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
I very much depends on the attitude of the Parents. To me it was paramount to raise my children and take care of them myself. We actually went without a lot of things, but were a close family. They did go to pre school and a lot of activities at the Library, etc. However that may not be the case with other parents, what they are doing is taking advantage of all the hours available in daycare. They will know what the effects will be on the children when they are a little older. They are surely tired after many hours at work and it is easier to shop and do errands without the children in tow. They will reap the consequence of their actions be they good or not so good. Have a Merry Christmas
2006-12-23 08:56:05 · answer #2 · answered by pooterilgatto 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
We're currently not in a financial situation for me to stay home with the kids, unfortunately, so both of us work. I feel a tremendous amount of guilt for leaving my kids 9 hours a day so I can earn a little to get us by. I have taken my kids to the grocery store with me by myself, and let me tell you, it's so much easier to have their dad or a grandparent watch them for a couple hours so I can run errands! I wouldn't want to pay someone extra just so I can go home and relax for an hour, though! I have left my kids at the sitters if I need to go somewhere that the kids shouldn't be-- visiting friends in a hospital, going to the bank where I can't use the drive-thru, or going to a class after work. I love to spend time with my kids and will do so whenever I can, but there are just some times when they shouldn't come with me! Do I feel guilty? Sure. Am I doing my best? Absolutely!
2006-12-23 10:01:01 · answer #3 · answered by chamely_3 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Of course there is guilt. I too also worked at daycare and children are there for a lot of the day and week. Not only that I have two children of my own who were in daycare before I worked at one and it's a horrible feeling to not have your child with you. but that's why parents pick daycares because they trust you to take care of their child. and I felt that if I wanted my children to have a good life then I need to educate myself further and work so they could have nice things. I think sometimes it's because of how the parent grew up. I grew up kinda crappy so I don't want that for my kids so I am doing things differently for them. It doesn't mean I love them less sometimes you have to sacerfice things for a while to better yourself. but my kids have benifited from it two. so where there is guilt there is pleasure.
2006-12-26 21:24:10 · answer #4 · answered by Shari D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a parent who has had to rely on childminders I take umbridge to your presumption that it is "easier". I may have run errands and even gone home to change but that was so the time I spent with my children was unencumbered. I adore my children and would rather have them busy in a happy environment than my being annoyed at them while I accomplish my adult tasks. I had to depend that the people who minded my children to understand my desire to provide a parent who was focused on them rather than be ignored by a parent too busy. You might want to speak to the parents of the children in your charge and see why they leave them in your care - you will be pleased to find they trust you and you are not merely a convenient means of avoid their children but an opportunity for their children to learn and accept the care of others. It is a place where children can learn that their parents look out for them even when they are unavailable.
2006-12-23 08:48:00 · answer #5 · answered by Walking on Sunshine 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
That is so sad...when I decided to have children, I always said that they would not be raised by someone else no matter what the cost. I do understand that folks have to work and make a living, but their precious babies stuck with people who don't love them (like their family would) all day is heartbreaking and I don't understand why parents do that. People who pawn their kids off for no other reason just disgust me...why breed???
I have 4 kids (6 & under) and it is always a pleasure to run errands without them, but they are with me the majority of the time...and if not, then they are with a trusted family member.
Shame on those who don't want to bother with their own children!!
2006-12-23 08:45:01 · answer #6 · answered by єЖтяα ¢яιѕρψ 6 · 2⤊ 3⤋
I also worked in daycare once, and had to witness the same things. One couple was known to work long hours, then they bought a brand new car, but kept their children in daycare from 6:30am to 6pm every night.
I think materialism is the cause of this. Everyone wants to work harder to have more stuff than their neighbors instead of enjoying simple pleasures and raising their own children.
2006-12-23 08:40:52 · answer #7 · answered by inkantra 4 · 3⤊ 2⤋
I'm a now single mom of three girls 9,6,11mon. I hate working late hours but do it to provide for them all of there needs,Do I want others raising my children ? No but I don't have a choice.Guilty , hurt from not seeing them all day ,you got it.Ilove more girls more than anything, and will do anything I can to better there lives and mine.
2006-12-23 10:58:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
good question.i'm sure there are some parents who feel quitly..i know i did..but im sure there are some who take advantage of the daycare since they are paying them...its always easier to do things without the kids...but i dont agree with the kids being somewhere else for all those hours....
2006-12-23 08:40:50 · answer #9 · answered by diane b 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yea, I don't understand why they even want kids if that's what they are going to do. That's a terrible way to start a kid out, not nearly enough interaction with adults and that effects their learning ability too.
2006-12-23 09:46:09 · answer #10 · answered by The Scorpion 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋