It's not that I did'nt want to keep them, it's just so hard to look at them
2006-12-23 08:32:39 · 29 answers · asked by JOHN C 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
It is appropriate to deal with this when you can, don't push it. Try and make something good out of this, like a donation to a group or person in need. Many places have a clothes bank for people trying to get back into the work force. Ask someone who cares about you and your husband to come over and help you when you are strong enough. It will be a very emotional time (I just helped my pop with my stepmom's stuff, teary, cathartic, sad, and yet a bonding moment).
I am very sorry for your loss.
2006-12-23 16:38:37 · answer #1 · answered by tajmina 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ONLY YOU CAN ANSWER THAT QUESTION!
There are no rules about when to get pull something out of the closet that belonged to someone you loved. I KNOW, I've been there. It's all a matter of self-choice. When you NEED TO DO IT, DO IT!
You do not have to "answer" for this to anyone, because everyone goes through grief differently. No two people are the same or go through the stages at the same pace. Just realize that the only person who will know best for YOU is YOU.
Here is information about Dr. Kubler-Ross's Stages of Grief, I hope they help. They did me.
The 5 Stages of Grief
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Five_stages_of_grief
http://www.elisabethkublerross.com/pages/AboutGrief.html
2006-12-23 16:41:04 · answer #2 · answered by AdamKadmon 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've never had a husband. Well, I'm straight too, but that's not the point. If I had a loved one pass away like that, I'd donate the clothes to Good Will, or a charity organization like that if it's hard for you to look at them (because they remind you of him). It'll really help some poor family/person out, and it'll help you to start healing.
2006-12-23 16:37:47 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry about your husband's death. There is no appropriate time to dispose of your husbands clothing and belongings. Do what is most comfortable for you. My husband died 4 years ago, 3 days before Thanksgiving. I immediately bagged up his clouthes, because for me, it was too painful to see them hanging in the closet. You may find this to be true for you as well, or you may find that seeing them there each day is a comfort to you. Everyone grieves differently and for different lengths of time. There is no "right or wrong" way to grieve, nor any "appropriate or inappropriate" way to handle things. Don't let others try to influence you in ways that aren't comfortable for you. Allow yourself to grieve at your own pace. Just take one day at a time. I promise you that it does get easier. God bless you.
2006-12-23 16:43:22 · answer #4 · answered by ceegt 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My dad just passed away four months ago and my mum still has the clothes in the closet. She hasn't gotten rid of anything yet. She says that it is something that you need to get used to. If it is hard to look at them then put them in boxes. My mum is planning to one day ask my brother and people at her church if they want the clothes. Then if there are clothes left they will go to a Salvation Army or something where people will need them. Maybe if you don't want to look at them but want to bless someone else you can do that. My mum just knows that my dad would want to bless someone else with his clothes if he could.
2006-12-23 16:42:30 · answer #5 · answered by russianchix 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry for your loss. I became a widow in 1999.I gave away his clothes to charity as soon as I could.Not too long after the funeral.It was too painful to see them in the closet and I know there are people in the community who need clothes.
2006-12-23 18:13:41 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey I know how you feel. Listen though as painful as it is I would keep a favorite shirt or something just to have. I mean you could donate the rest but I would just keep a few things to remember him. Just put them up and have them when you are a little stronger to enjoy them. I have kept things loved ones have left and enjoy the memories. I wish you the best, and just stay strong.
2006-12-23 16:40:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Anything from the day after the funeral on, whatever feels right to you. You are the one remaining, and he won't know the difference. If you don't want to look at them, put them in a box, another closet, or send them to the good will.
2006-12-23 17:20:21 · answer #8 · answered by Baby'sMom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am deeply sorry for you loss, it is never easy to lose one we love.
The only good answer to your questions is, When you are ready. Don't let anyone else pressure you into doing something you don't want to do ( be that either keeping them or getting rid of them). It is entirely up to you, when you decide it is time to get rid of his clothes, it is the right time.
I might suggest donating them to something like Good Will or the Salvation Army. It might make you feel good that his things will go to help others in need. When my grandma died of cancer we had a huge yard sale and sold almost all of her household items and her clothing. We raised a good sum of money and donated it to St. Jude Children's Research Hospital to help in their search for a cure for cancer. I am sure grandma was smiling down on us that day.
2006-12-23 16:48:02 · answer #9 · answered by ♥chelley♥ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋