My mother and I don't get a long that great or should i say at all. We try and try but it seems as though after a week of trying we just stop contacting each other and what not. Well my dilema is, is that Christmas is now 2 days away and I have not yet spoke to my mom. Its not that i don't want to its just that i don't know what to say and i don't want to yell at me for not calling (because thats what she normally does when i don't call) Oh btw I'm 21 living 1hr and half away from her with my boyfriend so having the no communication isn't that hard to achieve. But i don't want to miss being with my mom over the holidays but i can't just barge in and if i called her she is going to ask why i haven't called before and then we will just get into another argument. Does anyone out there have any suggestions as to what i can do to make this weekend a happy joyful one with my mom involved without me having the feel like a piece of sh*t.... please help i don't want to lose my mom.
2006-12-23 06:15:48 · 5 answers · asked by ♥ 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Your 21 and of course you don't get along with your Mom. That's normal. My daughter jumped on everything I said when she was 21. I knew nothing. She had all the answers. Today she is 35 and bought the house next door and her and I get along great. We have a lot of fun together. Just go see your Mom on Christmas. Take her a great gift. Give her a meaningful card and write a little note inside that says I love you Mom and I know we don't always see eye to eye but I still love you and want to be close to you. I know I have a lot of growing to do so please give me time to mature. I hate to fight with you. One thing you might want to keep in mind for the future, your Mom is doing the best she can and her job has not been an easy one. Give her a little slack. She wants the best for you and your happiness means a lot to her.
2006-12-23 06:25:29 · answer #1 · answered by sunny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well your 21 years old so should be able to show your mom that you have a spine. Speak with her in a mature and reasonable manner when you call. If she starts making you feel guilty (or attempting to at least) by yelling at you then inform her that you did not call to be verbally abused and just want to spend this joyful time of year with her and that she is the most important in your life. Maybe you can suggest that after the holidays the two of you sit down and have a woman to woman talk where you both can lay all the cards on the table and be honest with each other about what are the root issues that is disrupting your relationship at present. Mom may be feeling like she is taking second place to your boyfriend at present and so her nose may be a bit out of joint. Uncertain but she may also be going through the change of life and so be up and down with her emotions at present. Regardless, let her know how important that she is in your life and that you are grateful for that she was the one that raised you into the fine young woman that you are today. Not only will she feel great about these positive stokes that you give her but you will be also that you have said something nice to someone so important in your life. Often we do not say enough nice things to those who deserve it most. Good luck and I hope that you and your mom can resolve issues and become and treat each other with the respect that mature, responsible adults deserve.
2006-12-23 06:29:23 · answer #2 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, In For The Long Run,
My mother and father are both gone now. I would give anything to spend Xmas with them. I don't know what causes the fighting between you and your mother, but she is probably thinking the same thing. Call her, let her know you want to see her. Bite the bullet and go see her. If she bothers you in any way, let her. I always figured my parents had the right to chew my asss out if I thought I had it coming or not. Let her be right or some day you might regret it. Mothers are oh so special. Just try.
Have a great Xmas and a Happy New Year
Chance 1
2006-12-23 06:31:56 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to hear that you have this kind of drama for the holidays! First off, let me say that most all family's have drama like this. So please don't feel bad or alone. I'm dealing with some myself.
You are an adult now, keep in mind your happiness. What will make you happy for Christmas? It sounds like your mother has a hard time moving on, and letting go....? Maybe you just want to call up and say "Merry Christmas. " Then go from there. All though, she may just ramble on about what has happend in the past. Or just be negative. You don't need that in your life, so don't allow it.
Call your mom for sure. Just make sure that you start off by saying something positive like "Hi mom, I just wanted to say Merry Christmas, I miss you and hope to get together sometime soon. Then if she reacts in any negative way, like bringing up the past, or why you haven't called. Just say, " Mom I was hoping to start over and just talk about how eachother is doing. " "Is that okay?" If she reacts with nagativaty, then you say " I wish things could be different, but this is not how I want our holiday to go." Then you spend Christmas with your boyfriend, knowing that you tried. I know it's hard, but I have realized that we ourselves control how much drama we want in our lives. So don't let anyone bring you down. If you go about it this way, you aren't just giving up. And you have control of what happens. Good luck! Merry Christmas, I wish you the best... :)
2006-12-23 06:31:39 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just go to her house-----if she starts the yelling thing-stop it immediately and tell her you came to see her and would like to agree to the start of something new----like no more fighting.--you are now considered a real aged legal adult--you no longer have to answer to everyone of your moms questions. She may not like that idea but she will have to LEARN to accept it. If she doesnt then you can manage to stay away for as long as it takes for YOUR MOM to finally GROW UP.
2006-12-23 11:03:12 · answer #5 · answered by nickle 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋