we are getting married next year and my parents are trying to stop it we are both over 18 can they do it?
2006-12-23 05:52:55 · 21 answers · asked by joanne l 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I think the most important question to ask is: WHY do they want to stop your wedding? Unless they are mentally ill, they are probably trying to keep you from making a big mistake. It is, of course, your right to make your own mistakes and learn from them, but you have to appreciate the fact that your parents would like to protect you from the pain they fear will result from your choices.
So first, set aside a day to talk to them about your marriage plans. Really LISTEN to them and sit with their concerns for a few days before telling them how wrong they are. Then, if you decide to go back to them and tell them you're still planning a wedding, at least they'll feel like they've done their parental duty and *tried* to protect you.
Check the laws in your state or region. If 18 is the age of majority, you're free to marry each other despite your parents concerns.
I know very few wedding officiants who still use the "speak now or forever hold your peace" line in their ceremonies anymore. However, parents who are unhappy with your choice of marriage partner can make your lives miserable in hundreds of little ways throughout the years.
Personally, I'd wait on the wedding until my parents were on board with it. Unless, as I said, they are severely mentally unbalanced and prone to abusing me emotionally and/or physically. Then I'd divorce my family and marry whomever I wanted...
2006-12-23 07:08:42 · answer #1 · answered by Kya Rose 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No But You Should Have The Minister Or Whoever Is Performing The Wedding Take Out The Part Where He Or She Says "Speak Now Or Forever Hold Your Peace" Unless Of Course You Want The Embarrasment At Your Wedding.
2006-12-23 06:53:47 · answer #2 · answered by Paradise * 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
No. You are both over 18 and classed as adults so there is nothing legally they can do to stop you. But next year is a long way off and they can do a lot of verbal damage between now and then. If you are completely serious about it hopefully they will warm to the idea before your big day. Good luck x
2006-12-23 06:01:58 · answer #3 · answered by Lost and found 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There comes a point when parents don't ALWAYS choose what is best for you two. ...that point comes when YOU TWO start your own lives as adults, and you both start choosing what is best for yourselves. Just like through puberity, parents have a hard time adjusting as well, when you start talking about marriage. Imagine what could be running through their heads!!
I know a couple who got married the day after HER High School Graduation, and he was still 18 as well. Their High school grad announcements were also wedding invites. THEY knew really early on they they were deeply and passionately in love, and they would be forever more.... Today, they're in their mid-40's and they lead a high school Bible study (that I actually attended all thoughout HS as well..now I'm in college fyi) and they have 2 grown kids and are rediculously in love! haha, they're great. and I asked them what their parent's thought: "At first, our parents really disagreed" and she went on to say how they both wouldn't change a thing about their relationship---BUT they'd advise others to wait a bit longer for their family's sake.
I know its difficult, but you only have one family. TRY, at least, to sit down and explain WHY you guys want to wed, also why you want to wed even though it is so early..in your lives. Ask them to pray about it (if that's the case) and think about it more, considering WHO you are. Given, you are not their colon. You're different, and at bare minimun they should respect you, even if they don't agree. They shouldn't want to stop the wedding and ruin your special day.
Hope that helped. :o)
2006-12-23 07:06:55 · answer #4 · answered by truelovewaits 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Why are they trying to stop it? Is there stuff they can see that would be possible problems down the road??? Parents don't do stuff to just be mean, they do it because they love you and don't want to see you get hurt, I suggest you sit down and talk about it with your parents..do they think you are too young or not ready. Remember they have lived a lot longer and know more then you do...listen to them and their concerns about the wedding.
Good Luck
2006-12-23 06:33:07 · answer #5 · answered by Kitikat 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Some officiants will not marry you if your parents do not agree with the marriage. You have to ask yourself why your parents don't want you to get married. Of course, you can run off to the court house and get married against their will, but is that what you want? I don't see any hurry in getting married. My fiance and I have waited and are quite happy we have. There is so much to learn about one another before running to the alter!
2006-12-23 11:01:27 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Luckily, since 18 is the age of legal adulthood, there isn't much your parents can do to prevent you from marrying another adult.
2006-12-23 07:15:32 · answer #7 · answered by Talkstress 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No hun they can't. Just make sure you are doing the right thing getting married so young. Some people its great for I hope you will be happy!! Have a fantastic day!
2006-12-23 11:17:39 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes parents can stop the wedding only if your mother think that you not ready and he not treating you right and especially if she thinks that yah to young and you don't know nothing about this dude to much and you just marrying him because you love him you has to meet his family know when is his birthday and when his yah anniversary and when yah got married okay and wait until the time is right .
2006-12-23 08:36:17 · answer #9 · answered by Michelle T 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
no, but at the part in the wedding where the minister says "If anyone has any objections to why these two should not wed, speak now or forever hold your peace" don't be surpised if they stand up and embarass you and themselves.
2006-12-23 06:02:47 · answer #10 · answered by speedy_me18 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋