my question is a very hard one. my mom just had a stroke and out of all 5 of my siblings i'm the only one who can devote more time to caring for her. well my main problem is that it's christmas eve tomorrow and i have to bake, shovel, clean house, chase a 4 year old around, plus watch my sister's 8 year old, laundry, take the garbage to the city dump and the list is longer. i have a step dad he just doesn't care to help out. he has 3 children of his own-18,16,15. it's his weekend with them plus he figures that he don't need to help out around here, well i'm running around doing all the work. then this morning i get a phone call telling me that my real dad will be spending the night here tonight. so now i must clean me and my daughters room so he can sleep in there. how can i get help. i'm at the very end. i'm actually feeling like i'm ready to breakdown. i'm 5 months pregnant. how do i get my step dad to see that i need help around here.
2006-12-23 04:33:21 · 12 answers · asked by short.lil_momma 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
i went on strike once it ended up with garbage all over the floor, every dish dirty (we don't have a dishwasher) 18 loads of laundry, the house was like a tornado hit it. my step dad ended up staying out later and coming home to sleep or eating out. his kids bitched to the social worker and i almost lost my daughter cuz of it
2006-12-23 05:00:06 · update #1
the only reason why i still live at home is cuz when i moved out i didn't enjoy how my step dad treated my mom and his kids. they call her degrading names and he allows it. they pushed her so far that she had a nervouse breakdown and when she had one stroke they stood around laughing and ignored her. when she pass's out all they do is just say she is faking it and walk around her. my step dad just leaves her till she comes to puts her in bed and yells at her when she asks for help or gets out of bed. she asked me move in and care for her and so did my siblings. my house has to be sterlized and clean cuz my daughter has a really bad asthma and needs nebulizer treatments 3 times a day. i'm the only child who isn't married and my sister with the 8 year old owns her own bar and is recently divorced. we rent from her and to help pay rent we babysit her son.
2006-12-23 05:11:14 · update #2
The only way you are going to get help is if you come out and ask for it. You can't be expected to do everything - especially being 5mo pregnant. Tell the other adults if they don't want to help out, that they need to pitch in money so you can get a maid.
2006-12-23 04:35:47 · answer #1 · answered by Rawrrrr 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have got to start saying NO. You mothers husband took vows to "take car of her". Why are you watching your sister's 8 year old when you have enough to do? You do not have to bake, shovel, or clean house, you choose to. Let your Dad clean the room he is going to use, he only gave you one day's notice. Sounds like you live with your mother and step-father....you need your own home to raise your two children in. Why should your step-father help around the house, you take care of everything so he doesn't have to.
It may help if you think about the people that don't have a mother, or father. People that don't have anything to bake, have no shovel, have no house to clean, no laundry, and no trash to get rid of and are all alone for Christmas.
2006-12-23 12:46:59 · answer #2 · answered by Mike M. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow...it seems like the holiday cheer has definetly entered your home this year. :) As far as your step dad, I really don't know how to solve that problem, but its apparent that your sister (whom your watching her 8 year old daughter for) seems to have a life. Maybe instead of having her pay you this week, she can help out with housecleaning, or maybe just for a little bit, she can return the favor and watch YOUR children while you get the house done. Its apparent that your Step Dad really doesn't care about your mom, and that's really sad. I really do hope things will get better for you and your family. Wishing you the best of the holiday season!
2006-12-23 12:38:23 · answer #3 · answered by billy_spell 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What if you don't do anything? I would go on strike and not do a damn thing and let them deal with the mess. I wouldn't give up my room either. You are pregnant and it's not good to get stressed out! I would do only things I had to do for myself and daughter if I were you. You don't have to make a big dinner! Tell him you aren't feeling well and you called the whole off. Your daughter will still get Christmas and that in itself will be enough stress on you. Call the other 5 siblings and tell them that you aren't feeling well and they'll have to take over your mother.
2006-12-23 12:40:35 · answer #4 · answered by zeropulse047 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Put your foot down! It seems that you are surrounded by incompetent and selfish adults (except your mom). Make a list to your step & dad as far as what they need to bring to eat (already cook). specially the freeloader step w/his freeloaders super old kids. At home each kid cleans their own room, kitchen, living room and other to be divided in chores alternating weekly (like this everyone learns housework). The young ones get (small chores according to age). Ask for all the help +more otherwise your pregnancy w/be affected. Prioritize (mom & you need all the help) ask friends for help (if they are really friends this is the time to proove it) You will need babysitting help when you deliver the baby. (start planning) Never be afraid of putting a STOP to abuse. People can only abuse you as much and as far as you allow them to.
2006-12-23 12:45:22 · answer #5 · answered by Abby 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You won't get him to see it until you stop doing all of that. Tough love is hard, but sometimes you have to do it. Take a break after the holiday, don't do anything. The siblings and the step dad will step up when you stop.
There will be initial guilt they will throw at you, but they will step up and do some themselves and then realize everything you have been doing.
2006-12-23 12:37:44 · answer #6 · answered by Barbara 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call all your siblings and tell them all you need help NOW today for a while, Tell you step father and there kids you need help now. they are all old enough to pitch in and help.
Now is after asking everyone to help and no one does, take your daughter and visit you mom and stay as long as you can out of the house , why should they benefit from you hard work and you could even better lock them all out of the house, leave no food in there for any of them, you need to take care of you it is you step dads job as your moms husband to take care of her not you. so tell him so what have you got to lose
2006-12-23 12:40:16 · answer #7 · answered by picture 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your going to have to get a back bone where your step father is concerned. Tell him if he doesn't start helping out your going to get your mother out of the house of horrors. She should have been moved out a long time ago. As for his bratty kids they need a good swiff kick in the behind!
2006-12-23 14:04:30 · answer #8 · answered by Ms.Deb 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wish I lived clos so I could help at least a little, but other than that, yes, you are right, it is a hard one. All I can do is to pray for you (like, really)
God Bless.
2006-12-23 12:41:54 · answer #9 · answered by skydiver 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him if he doesn't get of his lazy *** you will go nuts and he will have to take care of everyone. And show him what you just wrote.
2006-12-23 12:37:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋