This puzzles me. A few friends or mine were pregnant at the same time I was. I was already living with the father of my child. Another friend moved in with her boyfriend almost immediately after she found out she was pregnant. Two others stayed at their parents' houses. One works in a fast food restaraunt and I don't even think the other one works. I understand that parents always want to support their children but at the same time wouldn't they want their grown children to do for themselves? I also understand in cases where the military is involved. Wouldn't they want to tell their kids, "You have a family of your own, now is the time to be responsible?" Maybe I just don't understand it.
2006-12-23 04:24:10 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Maybe I should have took more time to type this...lol. it should say "Why do grandparents support their grandkids. Baiscally, I don't get the reason parents allow their grown children to live with them when their children have their own children.
2006-12-23 04:26:51 · update #1
Amos, I'm talking about a free ride. Yes I understand for a couple of months or so but when their dult child has been there c ouple of years without paying for anything, wouldn't it be time for a change?
2006-12-23 04:28:20 · update #2
Love is the Key for that
2006-12-23 04:28:45 · answer #1 · answered by mms 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It really depends on the situation. Some people just need a couple of months to get it together. There are also grown children that act that way because of their parents. Every situation is different. I don't think the children should be cut off, but there is a way that the grandparents can take care of just the child without the parents reaping benefit of money or other things.
Society also plays a role in this. I mean, everything is so time consuming and money related. Back in the day, our grandparents raised 10 kids. They were able to feed and clothe them. You cant do that now, unless you're wealthy, and only 2% of the population is wealthy (I'm talking big bucks...not having to work bucks).
Think about this. The average 22 year old has twice as much debt now at their age, then the average 22 year old 20 years ago.
Many problems lie within this question. It's not so black and white...
2006-12-23 07:26:35 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is one thing to support without an end in sight, it is yet another to support with a group supported goal in mind, like finishing school. Incomes are necessary, and education is necessary as well. Things happen that are not planned. Life is not totally predictable.
In other family settings, many generations would live together in one house, but now that is not considered very acceptable in this country anymore. Extended families are important in this country, but they have been pretty much chastised by our government. Grandparents can be excellent baby sitters.
I agree that responsibility is necessary, but you should involve your parents if at all possible (both sets). Teen pregnancy is not a responsible behavior by the children in the first place!
I have 2 boys and I have told them from a VERY young age, to be responsible and keep it in your pants until you are old enough and can (and will) afford to support your own family.
2006-12-23 05:18:07 · answer #3 · answered by C L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When I got pregnant and married at age 17 my husband and I lived with my parents for 2 years... The first year while I finished high school and the second while I finished a 12 month course in accounting so I had something to fall back on if my marriage didn't work out... When I was 21 my (2 kids) I got divorced... My parents invited me and my children back to thier home and offered to help support the children so I could complete college (I had been taking 3 courses a semester since graduating high schoo) Living with my parents enabled me to take 7 courses a semester meaning I would complete my degree much more quickly....
My parents felt they were helping me be responsible for my family by helping me get a degree that would allow me to support my family with far fewer work hours because I would have a higher paying job...
My neice and her husband and 2 kids are now living with my sister and her husband (and have been for nearly 2 years) while she finishes her degree in special education and they save for a down payment on a house...
Many parents feel that helping to support kids even when they have kids of thier own through college is a smart move because it will allow thier children and grandchildren a more financially secure future...
Life often throws you a curve ball whether it be a teenage pregnancy, an accident, illness, etc. Family helps support each other through those times... Most grandparents want what's best for thier grandchildren and having a pparent who is emotionally and financially ready to support them is best... If that takes living with the grandparents a few years to accomplish most grandparents are willing and happy to do it...
2006-12-23 04:43:46 · answer #4 · answered by Diane (PFLAG) 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Every family is different, and I try not to judge. I think its important to set guidelines for life when the kids are young enough to not need the information, but old enough to understand it. Teen-agers need to know what you as a parent will do and will not do in the case of a pregnancy or rough time in their future. This doesn't mean exceptions don't occur, but it sounds like you have been getting an education watching those around you cope with some life situations that are kind of strange. There, but for the grace of God, go I?
2006-12-23 05:14:42 · answer #5 · answered by Janet B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my culture, parents pay for their children until their children can live on their own or get married (if it's a daughter). If it's a first/only son, then he will eventually inherit what his parents have, though he also have to have a job.
So if the daughter has a child outside marriage - she is either disowned or taken in (meaning the parents will pay for the child until she can (and want to) live on her own (or get married). I know people will say why would you even want to live on your own with a kid if your parents are paying for you. But, trust me, you're lucky enough not to be disowned and know how much your parents got embarrassed from the existence of the child (doesn't matter if you're 30 - if you're not married then the child is still has "unknown father" - though when you're 30, then you're most likely are able to live on your own), you'll want to live on your own and not give your parents more trouble.
2006-12-23 16:02:16 · answer #6 · answered by meetha 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Part of the problem is that they feel guilty for failing to be parents to the women who are having all these children out of wedlock.
Why are over 30% of women, girls, having children without the means to support them or even more important, without a family structure to guide them and nurture them physically, morally and spiritually.
There is a big empty hole in this generation. They are missing the meaning of family.
Materialism, self-centeredness, lack of understanding about the meaning of fatherhood and motherhood, all these things contribute to what you see around you.
When you take away the family from a country, a country looses its identity and we are bound to break down and be taken over by a stronger group because by then, no one will care for each other.
2006-12-23 04:50:12 · answer #7 · answered by Tiberias 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Social protection is a scam and consistently has been, you pay into all of it your life yet only come back a fragment except you reside to be a hundred and ten. If a guy and a girl the two paid into it for years and one among them dies that's unlike a financial company account,the different individual does not get the two and if the two mum and dad die and have based young ones the money they placed into Social protection is lost consistently and no one ever gets it. a minimum of with investments they are able to be left to surviving kin. Social protection is Communism at that's coronary heart, the government takes all that money and springs to a decision if, whilst and how lots you will get, do no longer tell me that's no longer immoral.
2016-10-05 22:46:25 · answer #8 · answered by kuhlmann 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
everyone is different, some girls can do it by themselves, but if a girl that got pregnant and the father wasn't around. thats different its not that they are not responsible. but as we all know we depend on our mates to help, well they don't have it. and if she seeks help from her parents. that their business and no one elses. it does not make them less of a good parent. but it really depends on the situation. and you don't have to be in the military to have those kind of problem. and it does not mean that their parents are raising the child or supporting the child. I lived with my parents and i did everything my self the only thing my parents did for me was put a roof over my head. no money . I had to do it by myself and find a babysitter, they didn't watch my son when i was at work.
2006-12-23 04:33:11 · answer #9 · answered by misty blue 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is the type of attitude that is annoying from my perspective of being a single mother, living with my parents-
I was married, but it was abusive, when it ended my parents came down and saved me. The situation was bad... that was aug 05 and I am still living with them, and have another baby on the way, with no b/f, just a sperm donor because I wanted a baby. My parents are fine with it because I talk to them about everything. I have worked on and off, but since I got pregnant I was really tired and they offered for me to quit work and stay home. Plus I refuse to put my kids in day care so I was staying home all day with them and going to work at night and on the weekends, usually working close to a 40 hour work week. Since I have quit though I have enrolled in college online and been working towards a degree so I can support myself in the future. But where we live right now, to be able to have a 2 bedroom apartment with out being on state help I need to make a little under $4,000.00 a month and only having a GED does not cut the mustard on that one. I could be on section 8 giving up 1/3 of all my income, taking my kids to day care, and working 50 hours a week and I could be surviving. But my parents know what it is like to live like that, and want a better envirnment for me and my children and are willing to help me out. I have already told them I plan on living with them for at least the next five years and they are fine with that. I am mostly wanting to stay here so long so I can help pay them back for everything they have done for me.
Basically it is not always a situation where the parent is irresponsible, it is just the situation that came up, and if the grandparents are ok with the situation, why question it?
2006-12-23 06:00:36 · answer #10 · answered by allaboutme_333 3 · 0⤊ 3⤋
It's not a free ride, it's helping your child and grandchild. They want their children and grandchildren to have the best life possible and if that means helping out then that's what it means. As long as the person is using the help to try to get to a better place and out on their own.
2006-12-23 08:56:42 · answer #11 · answered by Jilli Bean 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋