my lil sister is 13 and is going out with a 16 year old and have been together for 4 months............. in this for months he has kissed is ex girlfriend, called by sister fat, ugly everything and basiclly being a complete prick but everytime she takes him back .
i ask her why she takes him back as it is hurting her and it has an affect on my whole family and i call him a prick and that but she really doesn't care... ( he isn't using her for sex)
What can i do for my sister just be there for her or tell her what a prick he really is as she thinks that she sees a different side to him....... plz help wot shall i do ????????????
2006-12-23 02:46:13 · 17 answers · asked by lil_sugar1990 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Maybe you can make a list of everything that you see that is wrong with him. Avoid calling him names, just give her clear examples.
Then, make a list of all the good things about her. She may be staying with him because of low self esteem.
Explain to her that you love her and you don't want to see her with someone that doesn't respect her. She is very young (WAY too young to be with a 16yo) and being with the wrong boy now could in all honesty really cause havoc now and even in the future. Try to be calm and caring when you talk to her, even if she gets mad.
I personally think 13 is too young to have a serious boyfriend and it is wildly inappropriate for that boy to be 16.
2006-12-23 03:16:35 · answer #1 · answered by Contessa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow... first of all, your parents need to kick someone's ***. Maybe your little sister's for dating someone who is 16, or maybe her boyfriend for treating her like crap. But the parents really need to step in. The pain and anger caused by that action will go away when she gets older, but the pain this prick of a boyfriend will cause will last a lot longer.
The other option is to do nothing but be there for her. She is a teenage girl and being 13, she has several more "stupid" years ahead of her before she grows up. Please don't be insulted by that because I really don't mean it to sound that way, but thats just the way they are.
Personally, I would go for option 1 and do whatever I could to keep them apart. Yeah, as a father, she would hate me for all of a month. Then she would be fine. She will actually wonder what she ever saw in him.
Get involved and get tough.
2006-12-23 02:51:47 · answer #2 · answered by David L 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell your parents. How do you know he is not using her for sex. what does a 16 year old have in common with a 13 year old? He should be charged with statutory rape. The best thing you can do is to tell your parents or some responsible adult. Your sister is too young to be dating period and she should not be with this older guy. Nothing good will come of it and you will feel so bad when she turns up pregnant if you did nothing to protect her. she has no idea what she is doing but that guy, he knows exactly what's up?
2006-12-23 02:49:28 · answer #3 · answered by CindyLu 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There isn't much that you can do about it, 'cause in the ebd, it will all be up to him, but consider the immaturity of your sister. Try to have her seing herself 10 years from now, how does she sees herself? Help her realize that she is a princess, and deserve the treatment fot for a princess.
If they get to marry, this guy is going to be abusive and once she gets pregnat, he is going to leave her and from that point on, her life is going to be miserable. But it is not late, try to be gentle with her, and not to use offensive remarks, but rather mature comments, this will make her think better. Try to give her facts, especially if you know about people whose lives are destroyed for this reason. May God give you the wisdom you need. You have a great oportunity to turn a life around for the best. Do your best.
2006-12-23 02:56:42 · answer #4 · answered by skydiver 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, here is the best thing i can tell you to try. I had a friend once that was dating this guy. And everyone EVERYONE told her he was a jerk. I was her best friend since we were seven and he dogged me right infront of her. I pleaded with her to break it off with him. Everyone did, but she refused to listen. Once I saw how many people were asking her to break it off with him, i stop. It hurt her to have two kinds of people that she loved hating the other. She spent most of the time defending him. So I stopped telling her what i thought, she already knew. I started being there for her when he was being a prick and i didnt tell her what i thought. She already knew. I just was there for her. When that happened she didnt spend all her time defending him and started to see what a jerk he really was. She spent less time fighting me about how good he was and finally when i let go of it and she complained enough about him, she realized how much of a jerk he really was. So in the end, it wasnt me that convinced her, she did it herself. My suggestion behind all this, just let her know you are there for her. Stop telling her he is a jerk. She knows. But when she is done defending him and starts realizing, then she will dump him for sure. I promise. Be patient my friend. I know its hard. You dont want to have someone you love so much being hurt but trust me when i say, you cant do this for her. I wish you could. I wish we all could stop someone from hurting themselves but its a lesson she has to learn now to stick up for herself and she will have this lesson for the rest of her life and not let guys put her down like that.
2006-12-23 02:53:00 · answer #5 · answered by missy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The more you critisize him, the more defensive your sister will get. She needs to see he is no good for herself.
She is too young for him anyway. In a few years, three years won't make a difference. Now it does.
Your sister needs counselling, but you can't do it, you are too close.
If she reads, get her "Intimate Connections" by Dr David Burns, and it will explain how you have to love yourself first to attract a good mate.
Your sister has self esteem problems, and this guy is using them to control her. Boost her confidence, and she will see it for herself.
Try to get her to go to counselling.
Where are your parents in all of this?
They NEED to be involved. It's their job!
2006-12-23 02:54:47 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
well I'd say that if you just say bad things about him she is going to feel the need to defend him and she will pull farther away from you and closer to him. Just be there for her and and when they do get in a fight, support her and bring up the patterns of his abuse towards her and tell her that you are concerned and let her make the decision that he is a bad guy, not you.
2006-12-23 02:51:22 · answer #7 · answered by Laura H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to really talk to her and have a deep conversation with her. Dont tell the guy to shut up your little sisiter just wants expierence with older guys.
2006-12-23 02:51:50 · answer #8 · answered by Rachel N 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
being nasty about him wont help if she doesnt see it herself, you will just push her away and she wont talk to you as she wont want to hear your negative coments. i think the best thing to do is listen to her and only tell her what you think when she asks and put your oppinion in a calm way even if he does sound like an a*s. i think she will need a sholder to cry on soon enough and if you have been listening to her and helping her she will want it to be yours.
2006-12-23 02:52:37 · answer #9 · answered by NICOLA G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why is she dating so early? its going to be really hard to tell her to break up with...she seems emotionaly attached...the best thing is to have a talk with both Kids with the parents in the room
2006-12-23 02:50:12 · answer #10 · answered by Silent white cloud 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋